


Mate

by texaskid



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Multi, Polyamory, Some comics cannon, Some movie cannon, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 72,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23112196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/texaskid/pseuds/texaskid
Summary: Science has always said that soulmates are like one soul in two bodies. The more decades that passed the more the population began to think science was wrong. Everyone is their own soul, perfectly complete on their own. Soulmates however are more like a suit jacket and slacks: one can function without the other but they work a whole lot better together.Amy subscribed to this theory as well. With the words on her chest, she figured she'd never get the chance to see how well they worked together. At least not until aliens invaded New York. Then her whole world changed. After that, she had to find a way to make her way in the new world she's in. Hopefully with her soulmate she can do just that. At least right up until that soulmate throws a twist her way.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 45
Kudos: 182





	1. Background

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go with another Marvel story.
> 
> I so meant to have this up on Mar 10, Bucky's birthday but like most writers know, life happened.
> 
> Please let me know what you think.

For the first 12 hours of James Barnes's life, everything was normal. In fact his parents would say everything was normal until he was three days and two hours old. For the first 73 hours of his life, he was mostly happy, healthy, and his soulmark on the inside of his right forearm had disappeared shortly after the 12 hour mark. Then, when his mother changed his diaper at the 74 hour mark, words bloomed across his left shoulder then disappeared 10 hours later. The Barneses looked into it but couldn't find anything about marks appearing hours after birth. It was rare to have more than one mark, so much so that the book was mostly speculation and anecdotal but not a lot of fact. They decided if he ever asked, they would tell him they figured he would lose his first soulmate but would get lucky to have another though they agreed not to tell him the circumstances surrounding that second soul mark.

\--

Sarah Rogers on the other hand promised herself and her husband that they would never hide anything from their son. It became especially true to her once her husband died and once she saw sickly their baby boy was when he was born two months after Joseph's death. Her hope was that when he heard he'd meet his first soulmate at 11 and his second at 93 he'd have a reason to pull through and outlive what the doctors predicted would be a very short life. Sarah wondered why he'd meet a soulmate at 93 years old, but at least it meant her baby was going to live a very long life. She too worried about why their baby's second soulmark had appeared at 73 hours after his birth, but like the Barneses, she decided to not worry about it and enjoy her child while she could.

\--

Amy only believed a couple of things scientists said about soulmates by the time she was old enough to understand what they actually were. First, that the words written on your body were the first words your soulmate would ever say to you. Second, that the location of those words were approximately where your soulmate was looking when they said those words. And third, that the number of hours those words stayed visible to everyone after birth was the number of years it would take before she would meet her soulmate and they'd say those words. While you would always be able to see your own soulmark, no one else could see it after it faded until your soulmate said those words.

The one thing she didn't believe that most others did, was that soulmates were one soul in two bodies. Instead she believed that soulmates were like a well-made suit. That, while any pair of pants fit and would look good with a lot of jackets, there was only one, the matching jacket, that would accentuate everything. Only one person out there that would match you the best.

In 1991, there were a lot of books on soulmates, soulmarks, and what to look for. Amy's maternal grandmother had read most of them by the time her only grandchild was born, but none of that prepared her or her husband for the oddity of their granddaughter's mark. Their daughter's had been just like every other one they had seen, dark and clear. Their granddaughter's on the other hand, those three words on her chest, looked more grey than black and it reminded Grace of when she was a kid and would draw pictures in frost-covered windows during the winter. When she brought it up to her husband, Tim, he agreed and admitted he didn't understand it either. Their daughter, Amy's mom, Beth, just brushed it off and said her baby girl was special. Grace and Tim were lucky enough that their daughter and her husband let them stay for a while after Amy's birth. That meant that they were there 21 hours after Amy's birth when the mark darkened to look like the rest of the soulmarks they had seen. An hour later, the mark disappeared completely. Their concerns remained in the back of their minds but they tried not to let it come into play in their relationship with their granddaughter.

Then one night, shortly after Amy's fifth birthday in March of 1996, their concerns about her soulmark vanished when she did. One could not explain the panic in their daughter's voice when she called them and Grace, for one, did not ever want to hear it again. Tim would agree with his wife, if he could ever get past blaming himself. Grace talked him down after the Boston Police left their place, but wasn't sure how much it had helped, so she called a couple of his old war buddies down to help out. They also spoke with him, letting him know it wasn't his fault and that they'd do everything in their power to help find the little girl. What it actually took was a phone call to a friend in a high place, a new federal law Tim worked to help push through, and five very long years.

* * *

"Hi there, sweetie. My name is Clint; do you know what yours is?" Clint looked away from the little girl in front of him to the dirty room around them, no bigger than a walk-in closet. He had been in rat-infested cells bigger than this one. This cell was barely big enough for the rusted, metal cot the girl was cowering on. All the girl was wearing was what looked like a hospital gown or an old nightgown that was both ragged and as thin as the blanket over her lap. That's when Clint noticed there was a trail of red running down her left arm and she was watching him closely. He crouched at the end of the cot trying to make himself smaller and not as threatening looking, keeping his gun pointed at the floor.

"K—K—Kobik," she whispered.

"No, sweetie, the real one, not the one they call you."

"Amy," she said softly. It was almost as if she was afraid to say her real name.

"Would you like to go home?"

"This—this is home."

"It's okay, kiddo; I'm not going to hurt you." He slid his pistol back into its holster then held his hands up. "I just want to take you back home to your family."

She stared at him for the longest time her eyes narrowed at his face as though she was trying to figure something out. Finally, one word slipped from her lips. "Pop-Pop?"

"Your grandfather? Yeah, he sent me to get you." She crawled towards him on the cot and he backed off. When she reached the end she climbed off and stood in front of him, her pale, bare feet standing out against what he was sure was cold concrete. She blinked at him causing him to wonder about her treatment at this base but the voice on the other end of the comm line was telling him they needed to go. Clint stood and offered her his hand which she took skeptically, but followed him down the hall as he pulled his pistol back out. He was pretty sure he had taken out every agent he had come across to get to the little girl but there was always the chance backup was coming for him. He turned to go left towards the exit but the little girl planted her feet and pulled on his hand. "No, not without Soldat. If we're going home he comes too. They're mean to him. I can't—I won't leave without him," she cried.

"Okay, quickly," Clint agreed. He could see a passion in her eyes, that and a will not to leave without whoever "Soldat" was and he wasn't going to make her. His bosses would probably be angry about it but there was a chance they could break and flip this Soldat, which he knew was Russian for Soldier, and get more information about either the girl or the plans they had for her. She pulled him down three more hallways to another cage door. When there, she released his hand and pulled on the door but Clint could tell it was locked. "There's no key," he warned her softly.

"Soldat, can you open the door? We have to go," Amy asked.

"They'll come for me later," a soft voice from inside said.

"No, we have to go now. Open the door." A silver hand reached through the bars and pulled them inward. The door was ripped from its hinges then dropped and Amy reached up to the man who stepped out. He looked down at her then picked her up. She pressed her hands to his temples and after a moment he shifted her to his back. That's when Clint got a good look at the man. His uniform was nearly all black from his cargo pants to the jacket and shirt and the black mask across the lower half of the man's face. The only thing that really stood out, other than the bright blue eyes staring at him, was his left arm because it was entirely silver. If Clint didn't know any better he'd say it was made of metal. Then the man's blue eyes narrowed at Clint until Amy's hand pressed against his neck. Clint saw that somehow her little hand had worked between where the mask sat and where his shirt started as it covered almost his entire neck. Her other hand wound into what Clint now realized were straps on the man's uniform, almost like a straight jacket. The man suddenly blinked and brushed past Clint making his way down the hall. "Come, Clint," Amy told him.

Clint followed closely keeping his eyes and ears open for the rest of his team and any guards that would stop them. On the third turn, they ran into a guard, but before Clint could say anything, the man in front of him punched the guard out cold.

"The gun, Soldat, just in case," Amy said softly. The man nodded and grabbed the guard's gun then his knife as well before moving on. They took out four more guards before they came across a blond man holding some file folders.

"He's with us," Clint told them. Soldat lowered his weapon then moved on.

"So?" the blond asked, joining them.

"She says her name is Amy but she wouldn't leave without him. Calls him Soldat. It's Russian for soldier. Did you get the information?"

"Every file they had on Operation Kobik," he answered, tapping the files in his hands.

"Never let it be said that Coulson doesn't know his way around a field op," Clint said.

"Orders?" Soldat asked outside the facility.

"Car. Ten yards. Get the girl in the back seat," Coulson said.

Soldat nodded and put her in the back seat. He stepped back but she grabbed his hand. Coulson and Clint didn't hear her say anything but Soldat stepped forward and slid in next to her. What they didn't know was when he took her hand an image of a little, blond kid flashed in his mind along with the words _'Protect the child at all costs.'_ He wasn't sure if it was a memory but it was enough to drive him to not let the little girl out of his sight. Clint slid in on the other and Coulson took the front passenger seat. The driver took off as six other vehicles pulled up.

"When can I see Pop-Pop?" Amy asked, looking at Clint.

"Soon as the doctors are done. We just want to make sure you're okay," Clint said softly.

"No more pokeys please," she whined leaning into Soldat. Tears built in her eyes, her face crumpled, and she gave him the classic _'I don't want to'_ face.

"I promise, we'll do our best not to hurt you like they did," Clint tried to pacify her.

Amy's lip trembled but then something shifted. She blinked back tears, sniffled, then nodded. "Okay," she agreed.

Clint watched the little girl all the way to the clinic. She sat stoically, her hand wrapped around Soldat's. Not one tear rolled down her face. That worried Clint more than anything else he had seen in the last 20 or so minutes. He had seen that before. Survivors of abuse shut down, put on a brave face to stave off any further abuse and he knew that her childhood had been rough. Instead of saying anything, he just continued to watch her.

They arrived at the clinic to see two doctors standing out front with a gurney between them. "Soldat stays." Amy demanded when she saw the doctors. Then she flinched. "If that's okay," she added in a much softer voice. It was almost as if she was expecting to get hit and she probably was. He knew her captors had kept her for five years and had probably abused her.

"That's fine," Coulson said. Everyone exited the car and once again Soldat carried Amy. This time though it was in his arms instead of on his back. As he set her down on the gurney, she took his hand and he nodded to the doctor. They wheeled her into a private room and began the exam. Throughout it all, Amy kept a tight grip on Soldat's hand as he tried to stay out of the doctors' way and keep an eye on the door and both Clint and Coulson.

"Okay, can you take the nightgown off?" The doctor asked. Amy nodded and released Soldat's hand to pull the nightgown over her head.

"Doc," Clint warned. Amy looked at him as she lowered the shirt to her lap. While there was little chance of the doctor doing anything other than a physical examination of the child, Clint still knew it was a child and didn't want her exposed and more traumatized than she already was.

"I just want to make sure she's okay," the doctor answered. "I can't do a thorough examination with her wearing it. If you're uncomfortable you can step out."

"No way in hell," Clint nearly growled. He wasn't going to leave this child now that he had eyes on her. Coulson looked at his agent with a warning. He knew that the agent was one of the best and usually got the job done but he also had a soft heart and was willing to protect those he saw himself in but sometimes he needed to be reminded to stay focused.

"Agent Barton, get control of yourself. This man is a professional." Coulson warned.

"So were the men who did this to her."

The little girl spoke up softly. "I'm okay. Soldat won't let them hurt me unless you say so. Sometimes it has to hurt," Amy said.

"It should never hurt. Doctors are supposed to help, not hurt," Clint told her.

"Oh dear God!" The doctor exclaimed. "What happened here?"

Both Clint and Coulson looked past the doctor to see most of Amy's torso littered with bruises in various stages. "I couldn't stop Soldat," Amy answered. She stared down at the shirt in her lap, her face falling into a frown.

"He did this to you?" Coulson asked. Clint's hand instantly moved to his pistol in its holster.

"No. No," she instantly protested. Then she quieted down again. "They did. When I couldn't stop him. Said I was a bad girl and needed to learn. Soldat tried not to hurt me," she explained. She grabbed the soldier's hand again as she looked up at him. He glanced down but only briefly then went back to watching the pair by the door.

"I'd like to get X-rays of her ribs to make sure nothing is broken then clean and bandage the arm. It appears there is some kind of injury to her shoulder."

Amy's head shot up, her eyes going wide, and her hand came up and covered her upper left arm. "I not hurt. I okay," she said.

"Will you please show the doctor?" Clint asked gently.

"Yes, sir," Amy lowered her hand and reluctantly let go of Soldat's hand. He moved his hand to her right shoulder and rubbed his thumb across her back. The doctor turned her a bit and grabbed a couple wipes to wipe all the dried blood from her arm. Once the arm was clean the doctor, Coulson, and Clint all stared at the star engraved into her skin.

"Did they do that to you too?" The doctor asked.

"Soldat didn't mean it. They made him do it," Amy whimpered. She pulled away from the doctor and scrambled back to Soldat. He wrapped an arm around her as she stood on the bed in front of him.

That's when they noticed the girl wasn't wearing anything at all as her shirt had dropped to the ground when she stood. "What did you say happened to her?" the doctor asked. His eyes were suspiciously flicking back and forth between the two agents. The girl seemed to trust them and he knew they said they were from some government agency but this girl was showing signs of abuse and neglect and the doctor was required to report it as soon as he got more information.

"We didn't," Coulson answered. It was silent for a moment then the doctor nodded. He could see he wasn't going to get more information from them so his best bet was to keep everything calm and go back to treating the patient.

"I'm sorry," the doctor told them. He turned back to the little girl and tried to offer her some comfort. It was the least he could do in front of three armed men. "Little miss, will you sit back down? I promise I don't blame him for anything. I want to make sure you're okay."

Amy looked up at Soldat who nodded so she sat down. The doctor placed a sheet over her lap and continued his examination. Coulson took a few steps forward and crouched a bit to look in her eyes. "Amy, why aren't you wearing underwear?" he asked gently. The last thing he wanted to do is frighten her.

"I'm a bad girl. I got them wet and I supposed to keep them clean and dry." Amy pouted.

"And the nightgown?" Coulson prodded.

"They don't give me anything else. When can I see Pop-Pop? He's a 'mando, you know. I wanna go home. I promise I'll be good."

"Soon, sweetie," Clint said.

"What's a 'mando?" the doctor asked.

Amy gasped then bit her lip as she whimpered. Clint realized that the captors had probably punished her when she talked about home. "We're not mad; no one's going to punish you. Can you answer the doctor?" Clint said as Coulson backed away from her.

"A Howling 'Mando. From the war. You know, they fought with Cap. Cap and his Howling 'Mandos," Amy explained.

"You mean Commandos? The Howling Commandos?" Clint asked. He knew that the orders to rescue this girl had come from the very top but he hadn't realized why it had been on a need to know basis. That wasn't part of his need to know.

"Uh huh," Amy agreed.

"I see," the doctor said. He glanced at the two agents by the door as things began to fall into place. "Will you lay back for me?" Amy took a deep breath but lay down and took Soldat's hand again.

"Do they hurt you down there too?" Clint asked. Amy's hand tightened around Soldat's, her eyes shut, and face scrunched up as though in pain or bracing herself for it. It was another sign that she had been hurt in that position. Clint's mind begged for him not to be right. She was just a little girl; she didn't need to be hurt in that way too.

Her answer cut off his spiraling thoughts. "Only with the pokeys."

"Pokeys?" Clint asked.

"Yeah. Doctor says it has to hurt or it's not working."

"What do they poke you with?" Coulson asked.

"Pokeys with magic juice."

"Like a needle?" Amy opened her eyes to look at him confused.

"One of these?" The doctor held up a packaged syringe drawing her attention. The little girl flinched away from it. "Okay, no needles. I'm done with most of the exam I just need x-rays." The doctor looked at Coulson and Clint then at the Soldat. Finally, he looked at the little girl. "A nurse will be in to get you dressed for the x-ray. It's just a couple of pictures. It doesn't hurt, I promise. If it does, I'm doing it wrong."

"Can Soldat stay?" Amy asked.

"Only until we have to take the pictures. No one else can be in the room at the time," the doctor explained.

Amy looked away, a soft whimper slipping out. "Soldat can be right outside the door and as soon as the doctor is done,'' Clint said.

"Okay," she answered. The nurse dressed her then wheeled her down the hall to the x-ray room.


	2. Safe House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to have this up about a week ago but life, you know? Anyway here it is now. Minor side note, today is the main character's, Amy's, birthday. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who read the last chapter and everyone who left Kudos, that means a lot to me.
> 
> Also thank you to Superheroes101 who left a comment and to the 5 people who bookmarked it.

After the x-rays, Amy was returned to the room with Soldat beside her. He kept an eye on the door and on her as he stood next to her. Both agents stayed in the hall speaking with the doctor. Soon Clint was back. He crouched down at the end of the bed and smiled at the little girl. "There is a black helicopter out back that is going to take us to a safe house. When we get there we'll begin treating you and then you can see your grandfather," Clint told Amy. "Your friend will be coming with us."

"On the 'coper?" Amy asked softly.

"Yeah."

"Soldat?" Amy asked, looking up at the dark soldier. His eyes softened slightly as he nodded.

Clint frowned as Amy looked back at him. "I do have some bad news though. There's got to be one pokey. It will help you feel better."

"More magic juice?" Amy sighed. The little girl looked resigned but she didn't protest. Clint couldn't explain why, but something about that made his heart sink in his chest. So he tried to make it better for her.

"This is the good kind of magic juice: it won't hurt at all," Clint explained. They just wanted to give her saline so she wasn't dehydrated and she'd hopefully fall asleep on the flight. Then he remembered what Fury had told him. _'Make sure she gets the bear. No matter what, she has to have the bear.'_ "Tell you what, in case the pokey does hurt, why don't you hold on to my friend's bear? He's magic and makes things better." Clint handed over the bear and Amy stared at it.

"Bucky Bear?" Amy stared at the bear like he held all the answers in the world. Then she shook her head. "No. Not Bucky Bear."

That phrase rang a bell in his head. He had heard that somewhere. He looked closely at the bear she held and then remembered that a toy company had turned Captain America's second-in-command into a teddy bear. "You have a Bucky Bear?" Clint asked.

"Yeah. Same clothes but he looks different." The bear did remind her of the Bucky Bear her grandfather had given her but he wasn't near as soft and squishy as her bear, plus he was much darker.

"He'll protect you just the same. Time for magic juice," Clint said as the door opened.

Amy sighed and stuck her left arm out. A nurse came in with an IV bag of fluid and set it up. She gently slid the needle into the little girl's arm and checked the flow.

"You can move her in about five minutes," the nurse said.

Seven minutes later they settled a sleeping Amy onto the cot in the helicopter then Soldat and Clint both took seats. Neither of them that Coulson had ordered the nurse to add a light sedative to the saline to ensure the girl slept through the flight and didn't get any more traumatized. Their destination was a safe house just outside Albany, New York.

They had just reached the West Virginia/Maryland border when Amy's eyes opened sleepily. She kept her eyes on the soldier though. His eyes were trained on the pilots as if he didn't trust them. Given his background, it was better not to trust anyone. Amy reached across the cabin and took his flesh hand. At first, she just held his hand trying to comfort him then she could hear what he was hearing: radio chatter. The pilots were talking to air traffic control or their base. Then they heard the response and Amy panicked. That voice, she had heard that voice before, right before an older man ordered men to hurt the solider.

"No! You said I was going home. Won't go back! I won't! Won't," she demanded, glaring at Clint. She couldn't move much further without pulling out the IV or hurting her arm with the needle.

"Go back where? We're going to a safe house," Clint said confused.

"Nuh-uh. The man on the radio. He's the one that hurt Soldat. Won't go back. Won't let you hurt him." She knew she had to do something so she focused really hard. Amy squeezed the soldier's hand and he sprang into action. He knocked Clint out cold then took out both pilots. He landed the helicopter and looked at the little girl. "What do we do?" Amy asked. Soldat stared at her as if she had the answer. "Maybe Aunt Peggy can help. I don't know who to trust either but she has to know. She's real nice and she runs super spies. She'll find Pop-Pop and they'll protect us. Promise."

"Contact?" Soldat asked.

"Secret number. Need a phone," Amy answered. Soldat grabbed one of the Satellite Phones then removed the IV from Amy's arm. She sat up and Soldat helped her onto his back. He disabled the GPS tracking in the phone then they set off on foot. After what seemed like forever he stopped and gave her the phone. She pushed the buttons and held it up to her ear. She pushed the buttons and held it up to her ear.

"Carter," the voice at the other end said.

"Aunt Peggy?" Amy asked.

Peggy's instincts started screaming at her. Amy shouldn't be calling her SAT phone. The girl should be on a borrowed Blackhawk helicopter headed for upstate New York. Barton had confirmed that. What raised her suspicions even more was there were no helicopter sounds in the background. They couldn't be there yet. It wasn't possible. "Just a minute," she told the girl. Peggy walked down the hall away from the operations center and stepped into the nearest office. She closed the door and kept her voice low. "Amelia? Where's Clint? Is something wrong?" she asked gently. As thrilled as she was to hear that little girl's voice after five long years, she didn't like what she was hearing in the voice. Panic. She needed to help the little girl.

"Aunt Peggy, can you come get me? There were bad guys on the 'coper. They wanted to take me and Soldat back. I want to go home."

"Bad guys? Honey, those men work for me."

"No, you can't be one of them. I won't let you hurt Soldat either."

"No one is going to hurt either of you. Amy, Love, there was a man with you, Clint Barton, where is he?"

"The one who gave me the not Bucky Bear bear? He was on the 'coper too. Soldat made him go to sleep. Can't trust him."

"I'm going to come get you myself, but I need to know where you are."

"I lost," she said sadly.

"What about Soldat? Does he know where you are?" Peggy wasn't sure who or what Soldat was, though she did remember that her agents on the ground had told her they had recovered someone from the facility so maybe that was who was with the girl. She just had to get them back.

Peggy heard a soft conversation in the background then Amy was back. "Soldat doesn't want to trust you. Says you'll take us back too."

Time to get the little girl to trust her again. "Never. I will never let anyone hurt you. How could I betray Cap and the Commandos like that?"

"You promise?"

"Is your granddad's favorite Commando Dum-Dum Dugan?"

"Uh-huh." After a brief whispered conversation happened in the back ground Amy revealed her location to her aunt. "Soldat says he thinks we're in Mary-land but there's lots of trees so he's not sure."

"Stay at the helicopter—"

"No," Amy blurted. "We went away so the bad guys couldn't find us. And Soldat says you can't track the phone either."

Peggy scrambled. It would take all night to find them in the forest, especially without tracking on the SAT phone or the helicopter. Even more if Soldat was who Peggy thought he was. Then she remembered the girl had mentioned the bear. "What about the bear? Do you still have the bear?"

"Yeah."

That was good. There was a tracker in the bear's foot. Now just to find a way to make sure the girl and the soldier knew it was her coming up on her so she didn't get hurt. "He'll help me find you. When I get close, I'm going to whistle the theme song to your favorite show. I want you to stay put until you hear it, okay?" Peggy told her. With Amy's grandfather being who he was, there was no doubt she would know about safe codes and with Peggy not being specific, anyone who might be listening in to the call wouldn't know what the song was unless they knew the little girl.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good girl. I'll see you soon." They hung up and Soldat took the phone.

"Aunt Peggy's going to come. Do you know Cap-toons song?" Amy asked. He shook his head. "It goes like this." Amy sung the first couple of lines to [_Star Spangled Man with a Plan_.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSAk63gCIko) "She said she'd whistle it when she's close. We just have to wait."

Soldat nodded. He destroyed the phone and took Amy about two and a half miles east. The further they were from the helicopter the better and it was less likely his handlers would find the girl. He didn't want to put her in danger but wasn't sure who to trust so he'd let her take the lead but would treat everyone with suspicion. Sure, he knew that he should report back to his handlers, it's what he had been trained to do if they ever got separated and he had no mission, but there was a part deep down in him that told him not to take this girl back to the handlers. That she didn't deserve to end up in this life. She was just a little girl and he wanted her to grow up before getting sucked into the life he now lived. He had been told he was doing the right thing by everyone he worked for and that he was changing history but he was still killing people and children shouldn't have to live that kind of life.

The sun sank further in the sky as he sat down with Amy in his lap and his back to a tree. He cupped her still bare feet in his flesh hand, rubbing them to try to keep them warm. Tucking her head under his chin, he pulled her as close as possible. Amy held the bear tight as she kept from moving too much. Once the sun had sank below the horizon leaving the sky awash with pinks and purples, the soldier heard footsteps coming towards them. Reluctantly, he woke the sleeping girl. She blinked a few times and then looked up at him.

"Can you climb?" Soldat asked. Amy nodded as she tried to wipe the sleep from her eyes. "Give me the bear." She whimpered slightly then relinquished the bear. He stood and put the bear in his vacated spot before heading further east to a sturdy tree. Amy went up it like a monkey until he told her to stop. "Stay put until I give the okay and keep quiet."

Amy found a comfortable spot and waited. She held on tight, trying not to look down and induce vertigo. Soon she heard a whistle that sounded like the Cap-toons theme song, Amy frowned but sat still. She trusted her aunt Peggy but she knew that making Soldat mad was a worse option. She had seen it in his mind on top of what the doctor had made him do to her. So she waited. She waited until she couldn't feel her toes and then she cried. Despite the pain, she kept her tears quiet like she had been taught and he had asked her to.

"Kobik," a voice said from the base of the tree. "Kobik, it's okay now. Come here." That voice was too deep to be Peggy's. It only took her a second or two to realize that it belonged to the soldier.

She answered him. "Can't. Too dark. Feet hurt."

It didn't take long for Soldat to scale the tree and reach out for her. She clung to him and he made his way down the tree. Once the soldier was firmly on the ground again, Amy looked around.

"Aunt Peggy," Amy cheered. She reached towards the woman but Soldat pulled her back.

"Hello, Love. What do you say we get you home?" Peggy asked.

Amy nodded but then saw Clint. "I won't go back. You promised." Amy pouted. She couldn't believe her aunt was working with the men who held her. It sent her mind spinning. Maybe the guys were good guys. Maybe the stories weren't true. Maybe— Peggy stopped Amy's spinning thoughts.

"Agent Barton works for me. He is a good guy. You will never have to go back to the people who hurt you," Peggy said.

"How can I prove I'm a good guy?" Clint asked.

Then again, maybe he was a good guy and maybe the so-called gift they had given her could help her figure it out. All she needed was to touch him and read his mind. "Hand," she ordered. Clint's brows furrowed but he put his hand out. She took his hand and closed her eyes. Images began flashing in his mind's eye. It didn't take very long for him to realize they were memories. What he didn't understand was why he was seeing them. One final memory played out. A mission to Russia where he personally reported directly and in person to Director Pierce. That memory had Amy pulling away sharply. "No. You work for bad guy. He hurt Soldat. How? You promised," Amy cried. She turned back to the soldier and hugged him around the neck.

"Did she just read my memories?" Clint asked.

"They taught her that. We need to move," Soldat said.

"Give her Bucky Bear and follow me," Peggy said. Clint held out the bear and Soldat took it. Both men followed the female to a car which Peggy used to drive them to the nearest airport. At the airport she drove onto the tarmac and then they got on a private jet which took them to an airport in New Jersey. Peggy pulled Clint aside on the plane as the soldier cuddled the girl close and did his best to get her to sleep. "Was she really seeing memories?" Peggy asked.

"I was seeing them; I think she could too," Clint said.

"And the memory that made her pull away? She said that you worked for the bad guy. Was it Fury?"

"No. Director Pierce. That Russian mission a couple years back. I reported to him directly in person. If that tip was correct and that facility really was Hydra, then the head of SHIELD is a traitor."

"It is also possible that he is who we think he is," Peggy said, glancing at the soldier.

"You couldn't possibly ..." Clint said his eyes wide. Peggy nodded. "Not The Winter Soldier." Peggy only looked at him. Clint swallowed hard.

At the airport in New Jersey they de-planed, got into a car, and headed straight for an off the books safe house. Soldat put Amy down in a windowless bedroom and she settled down in bed making sure to keep a tight grip on both the bear and Soldat's hand. Soon another doctor entered the room.

"Hi, my name is Sarah. I heard you don't like doctors," she said softly. She looked very nice with bright blonde hair and soft hands.

"It always hurts. The pokeys," Amy said. She pulled the bear closer.

"My pokeys never hurt. First, I'm going to take a look at your feet. I bet they're cold."

"A little." Then she shook her head. "No, not complain."

Sarah felt bad. The little girl was trying her best to look brave but there was terror in her eyes she couldn't quite hide. "It's okay to admit when you hurt. We all need help from time to time."

"Okay." Amy nodded. Sarah smiled and looked at the little girl's feet.

"Agent Barton!" Sarah called. He appeared in the doorway. "Get me three of the warmest blankets you can find and a hot water bottle. Fill it with warm water." When Clint left, Sarah turned back to Amy. "Sweetie, are you hungry?"

"No, I good," Amy said.

"When was the last time you ate something?"

"Don't know time."

"And you?" Sarah asked, looking at the man.

"I'll survive," Soldat said.

"That's not what I asked. When was the last time either of you ate?" Sarah asked.

"I'm not important; she is important," Soldat answered.

"Sweetie? Do you know when you ate last?" Sarah asked. Amy shook her head. "Okay, how about the last thing you ate."

"'Nola bar. They give me lots of 'nola bars. As long as I pass their tests. Don't pass, don't eat," Amy said softly.

"What about Clint? Did he feed you?" Sarah asked. Amy shook her head again.

That's when Clint stepped back in the room. "Ok, three warm blankets and a water bottle warm to the touch but not too hot," Clint said.

"How long ago did you come into contact with the little one?" Sarah asked as she placed the hot water bottle on the bed near Amy's feet then placed the three blankets over her.

"I don't know maybe twelve to fifteen hours ago," Clint shrugged.

"And in those twelve to fifteen hours it didn't occur to you to feed the kid?" Sarah asked.

"They gave her saline at the hospital," Clint said.

"Which isn't actual food. Find them something to eat. Something that will be gentle on her stomach," Sarah ordered. "And ask Director Carter to come in here."

Clint nodded and left the room again. Then Peggy entered the room. "You called?" Peggy asked.

"I'd like to speak with you about her treatment. And his," Sarah said.

"You were brought here for the girl, not him," Peggy answered.

"I understand. I checked her feet. They're cold but no signs of hypothermia or frostbite. I'm more worried about her nutrition. He doesn't seem injured in any way, so I believe they will both be alright, but I would recommend she see an actual pediatrician and soon," Sarah said.

"Will you step out for a moment?" Peggy asked. Sarah nodded. Peggy turned to Amy and smiled. "Honey, why don't you try to get a little sleep okay? Stay under the blankets. I'll have Clint move a chair in here so your friend doesn't have to stand all the time."

"Thank you, Aunt Peggy," Amy answered. Peggy smiled then she and Sarah left the room. Amy looked up at Soldat. "Do you think we're safe?" she asked.

The soldier studied her for a moment. "I will always keep you safe," he answered.

"I don't want to go back," Amy said.

"I know. I won't make you go back."

"Promise?"

"Yeah. Tell me about Bucky Bear."

Amy smiled. "A long time ago there was a war and there was a soldier named Captain America. He had a unit of guys called the Howling 'Mandos. One of the 'Mandos was Cap's best friend Sarge Bucky. Sarge was amazing. He saved a lot of lives, even Cap's once. They turned him into a bear. Pop-Pop bought Bucky Bear for me. Said he'd always protect me. One day I forgot him in the living room when I went to bed. Then I got lost from Mommy's house. I want my Pop-Pop."

"I can try to find him."

"Aunt Peggy will find him. I hope." Then Clint walked back in the room.

"I got pudding," Clint said.

"Thank you," Amy said as he handed it over. Then he set a chair at the end of the bed. She held onto it and the spoon and watched as the soldier slowly moved to the end of the bed and took the chair moving it slightly away from Clint before taking a seat.

"Would you like me to open it?" Clint asked after a few moments of watching her just hold it. Amy just looked away. Clint slipped the pudding cup from her fingers then opened it before handing it back.

"Clint, will I get to see Pop-Pop?" Amy asked.

"As soon as Director Carter can get him here," Clint said.

"Okay," Amy said. She quietly ate the pudding, scraping the cup so all the pudding was gone. Clint took the cup from her and went to throw it away as Peggy reentered the room.


	3. Soldat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the identity of the Soldat becomes clear.

* * *

Peggy studied the young girl as she cuddled with Bucky Bear under the warm blankets. Based on everything she had been told from the doctor, the girl hadn't eaten in a while and when she did it wasn't much. "Sweetie, how often would you say they fed you?" Peggy asked.

"Don't know. Not allowed to ask. Usually when I passed their test I could eat," Amy said softly. Her eyes were downcast and not once would she look up at Peggy.

"What kind of test?"

"Sometimes I had to guess the number right on the first try, sometimes I had to find the ball, mostly it was make the doctor do something."

"Did they ever hurt you for getting it wrong?''

"Sometimes."

"Did they hurt the soldier?" Peggy glanced at the man in the chair.

"Only meet-ed him a couple days ago, but when I couldn't stop him, they hurt him."

"How?"

Amy's voice got real quiet when she answered. "The guard hit him with his fists and boots and the shockey stick. Then he didn't get food. Then they put him in this big chair with the lightning and he didn't 'member after that. Not everything. I make him 'member some things though."

"How?"

"Up here, like the doctor taught me," Amy said, tapping the side of her head. "Can I tell you something, Aunt Peggy?" The young girl finally looked up at Peggy.

"You can tell me anything and I promise I won't get mad at you." Peggy perched on the edge of the bed and stroked Amy's red hair back from her face. Amy flinched at first but shortly turned into the comforting touch.

"I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"I don't want to go back."

"You will never have to. I will make sure they will never hurt you again."

"I meant to Mommy. I love my mommy but I don't want to go home with her."

"We'll see what we can do but I'm sure your grandfather will stay with you for a while."

Amy smiled. "Do you think Pop-Pop will bring my Bucky Bear?"

"If he doesn't, you can hold on to my Bucky Bear for a while."

Amy's eyes went wide. She unwrapped her arms from the bear and held his muzzle in front of her nose, staring deep into his eyes. It was almost like she was trying to suss out the truth. "This is _your_ Bucky Bear?"

"First one they ever made. He's really old so you take good care of him, ok?"

She glanced at Peggy then went back to staring at the bear. "This is really Bucky Bear?"

"Yeah. I know he looks different, but back in the day, they were supposed to look like that."

"Thanks, Aunt Peggy. Can I …" Amy stopped and tried not to yawn.

"Looks like someone could use a nap."

"I okay. I promise."

"It's okay to be sleepy. Why don't you get some sleep and I'll wake you when you grandfather gets here?" Peggy turned on the bedside table lamp and turned off the overhead light. She walked back over to the bed and stroked the little girl's hair. "I'll be right down the hall if you need anything. Even if it's just a bad dream." Amy nodded and Peggy kissed her head. Amy snuggled down in the covers, wrapping her arms around the bear. Peggy glanced at the soldier still clad in his dark uniform and mask then left to let Amy get some sleep.

"Soldat, will you stay? Keep me safe and stay until Pop-Pop gets here?" Amy asked.

"Sleep, you need it," he answered.

"Please?" She pouted and batted her eyes at him.

"I'll stay, but you have to sleep."

"Thank you." Amy rolled on her side and fell asleep.

When she woke, she heard soft voices arguing. She blinked a few times then saw the soldier standing with his back to her, facing the door. His pistol and knife were on the bed, his hands down by his sides. He seemed relaxed but Amy could see the tension in his shoulders.

"I'm telling you he's dangerous; over two dozen kills in the last 40 years," Clint hissed. He was just outside the door, a pistol in his hand. Luckily the pistol was pointed at the floor and his finger was off the trigger. Peggy stood between him and the room, in the doorway, facing Clint, her arms open wide, hands braced on the doorframe.

"And he's done nothing but protect her for the past 24 hours. He could have killed all of us at any time," Peggy argued.

"So we wait and give him more time to plan how to kill us?" Clint snapped. Amy jumped up from the bed and wrapped herself around Soldat's back.

"No. Soldat won't hurt." Amy cried.

"Stand down, Agent Barton!" a voice ordered from behind Barton. Barton spared a glance and saw Coulson with an older man behind him. "We know who he is and what he's capable of but we need time," Coulson went on. Barton returned the pistol to its holster, reluctantly. Peggy stepped aside and let the older man with Coulson into the room.

"'Melia Grace, you're supposed to be sleeping," the man said. Amy's eyes instantly jumped to the older man. He looked just like she remembered. Tall with copper colored hair going grey, thick, bushy mustache, and his signature bowler hat with corporal stripes, despite the fact he hadn't been a corporal in decades.

"Was sleeping. Not tired anymore," Amy answered. She pulled back slightly from the soldier. "Pop-Pop, you can't let them hurt Soldat."

"I won't, sweetheart. Agent Barton is going to go get you some peanut butter toast while you and I talk," her grandfather said.

"Colonel Dugan," Clint started.

"Go," Coulson said. Clint sighed but walked away.

"Pop-Pop, can we go home?" Amy asked.

"Soon." Dugan answered. He turned to the soldier. "My name is Colonel Timothy Dum-Dum Dugan. I want to thank you for looking after my granddaughter. Will you please remove the mask so we can talk properly?"

The soldier stared at him. "Soldat, please?" Amy asked. He looked at the little girl still slightly hanging around his neck and shook his head. Amy pouted as she let him go and dropped back onto the bed. "Please? Pop-Pop won't hurt. He just wants to help. Will you let me? Please?"

"I shouldn't," the soldier answered.

"Won't tell no one. You won't get in trouble. It's okay. Pop-Pop can keep a secret."

The soldier sighed and sat down next to the little girl. He closed his eyes and nodded. Amy smiled and reached up and undid the mask covering the bottom half of his face. She stared at it in her hands then set it aside. After a moment, the soldier looked up at Dugan who was instantly taken aback. "Sergeant Barnes? James Barnes?" Dugan asked.

"No. I don't—" Soldat answered.

"Pop-Pop?" Amy asked confused.

"But how? Cap saw you die," Dugan pressed.

The soldier swallowed and looked at him, clearly lost. "Soldat?" Amy asked. He looked at her, then back at Dugan before turning his gaze back to his lap. Amy pushed herself back up on her knees and cupped his face then brushed his hair back. "Are you alright, Soldat?"

"I don't remember," he admitted softly.

"Can I try?'' Amy asked. He nodded. She pressed her small hand to his temple and closed her eyes trying to find the buried memories. She caught a fragment of a memory and tried to coax out more. Before she could, she fell back onto the bed almost as if someone had pushed her back. She looked up to see Dugan watching Soldat from halfway across the room and looking concerned. Amy frowned and looked at the soldier as well. Sweat dripped down his pale face as he stared across the room unseeing. Fear and confusion were plain on his face. Amy studied him closely and sure enough, she saw what her grandfather had. The man sitting on her bed was one, U.S. Army Sergeant, James Bucky Barnes of the 107th, second in command of the Howling Commandos, and if one believed the rumors, Captain America's actual soulmate. "You're really Sergeant Bucky," Amy said in shock.

"I don't remember that," he answered.

"What did you do, 'Melia?" Dugan asked.

"Just tried to make him, 'member. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to hurt." Her voice got more and more whiny as she went on. "Don't really know how to control it. Please, don't hit. I'll do better next time, I promise, just don't hit." Amy's eyes teared up but she did her best not to cry. Instead she curled in on herself, wrapping her arms around her legs and burying her face in her knees.

"I'm not hurt," the soldier said, looking over at Dugan. While he hadn't actually seen any one of their handlers hurt the young girl, he wouldn't doubt that there was a chance someone might. Especially with the way she was reacting.

"No one is going to hurt you, 'Melia. What did you see?" Dugan asked. He was being really gentle with her and keeping his voice low. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her or trigger a flashback.

"Camping," she whispered from her knees.

"'Melia, will you please look at me?" Dugan asked.

Amy shook her head. The soldier studied Dugan for a few moments then looked at the little girl. "Kobik," the soldier prodded. She looked up at him and he raised an eyebrow. Slowly she turned to her grandfather.

"No one is going to hit you. I promise you are safe now," Dugan said.

Amy nodded. She pulled back from her knees and told him what she saw. "There were lots of trees. And tents and you were there and The General and Unca Jim. He made a funny. Cap was there too."

"France, '44. Hydra base," Soldat said.

"He 'members, but only bits and pieces," Amy said.

"How about we let him talk okay, 'Melia?" Dugan asked.

"Okay, Pop-Pop," Amy agreed.

"We have company, Director," Coulson said. Amy looked at him and saw him and Peggy near the door.

"Company?" Peggy asked. "Dugan, you turned off your phone, right?"

"No, I left it at home," Dugan said. "Never liked that thing. And the only one I told I was coming was Grace. If they got to her, we have bigger problems."

"Do they track you?" Amy asked the soldier.

"Sometimes. Not this time, I think," he answered.

"Me fix." Amy got out of bed and raced down the hall before anyone could stop her. She pulled open the door and smiled at the two men in suits. "Hi," Amy said. She kept one hand on the door handle and planted herself in the opening.

"Hello. Is your mom or dad home?" the one on the left asked. He was taller and darker both in hair color and skin color.

"Daddy left. Long time ago. Mommy's not here; just me and Pop—" Amy said. She stopped when she remembered the lessons her handlers gave her. _'When you lie, don't ever bring the entire truth into it.'_ "Pop's taking a nap. I don't think I should wake him."

"We're looking for someone," the one on the right said. While shorter and lighter skinned there was something that felt off about him. Something that might have been scary if she really thought about it.

Instead of thinking about it, she had to quickly figure out a way to get rid of these men. She knew the easiest way to do that was hear what they wanted and find something else for them to do. "Pop knows everyone in town. Everyone knows Pop. Maybe I can help. Who you looking for?" Amy asked.

"Carter; she took something that belongs to us. We want it back."

"That sounds like stealing. I don't know anyone who would steal and Carter is a funny name for a girl."

"Peggy," the one on the left said.

"Oh, what's she look like?" Amy asked. "Maybe I see'd her in town."

"Older, grey curly hair, brown eyes, maybe this tall?" The one on the right said, holding his hand up to about Peggy's height.

Amy thought it over trying to figure out what to say. She couldn't tell them Peggy was there especially if they were after the soldier. She had to make them go away. "Maybe we see'd her at the copy shop."

"Copy shop?" the one on the left asked.

"Yeah, the copy shop. Nobody makes copy like they do."

"Coffee," the one on the left said.

"That's what I said. Copy," Amy insisted.

"Are you sure we can't talk to your grandfather?" the one on the right said. He put a hand on the door and tried to move around her.

"Don't wake Pop," she scolded. "I don't want to get in trouble." She reached up and touched his hand then thought real hard. When she let go, she smiled. "Town's dat way." Amy pointed to her right and the man on the right shook his head.

"We should go," he told his partner.

"Just one more question, if it's just you and your Pop, why are there two cars?" The one on the left asked.

"Pop likes cars, especially those cars."

"Let's go," the one on the right insisted.

"Kay, bye!" Amy waved as they walked away then she shut the door. She turned back to the hallway and made her way back to the room. She passed both Coulson and Clint, the latter of the two holding a plate. "I did good, right?" Amy asked, crawling into Soldat's lap. She blinked her green eyes up at him

"You did real good," he answered. Clint handed the plate to Peggy who handed it to Amy.

"Thank you. They were looking for you, Aunt Peggy. Said you took something from them. I think they were looking for Soldat because they didn't try to take me and they would have taken me if they knew about me right?" Amy said.

"How'd you make them leave?" Clint asked.

"I thought really hard. I touch him and think really hard and he leaves," Amy said. She shrugged and ate her toast.

"You think and they do what you want?" Dugan asked softly.

"That's what they taught me. After they gave me pokeys, I had to make people do what I wanted them to just by thinking about it," Amy said. Once again, she avoided his eyes.

"Pokeys?" Dugan said.

"Shots," Soldat said.

Dugan looked up at Peggy. "I know," Peggy answered. Once Amy finished the toast she played with the plate.

"When can we go home?" Amy asked.

"Soon, I promise," Dugan said. "What more do you need, Peg?"

"I need her to see a pediatrician then get her set up with a therapist. After she talks to both, you're free to take her home. I want to send a team with you to make sure they don't come after her again. As far as Sergeant Barnes, he's going to have to come with us for some—questions," Peggy said.

"No. I won't leave him. Won't," Amy answered.

"'Melia," Dugan scolded.

"No. You'll hurt him just like they did," she cried. She jumped up, knocking the plate aside, and threw herself onto the soldier. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and her face nuzzled the crook of his neck. He gently patted her back unsure what to do.

"Amelia," Peggy said. The girl reluctantly looked at her. "You know that Cap trusted me and I've done everything I can to make sure the organization I run is run in a way he'd be proud of, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Then if that's all true do you really think I would let anyone hurt Cap's best friend?"

"I guess not." Amy looked down.

"We're going to go right down the hall while a doctor checks you over," Peggy told her.

"Do you have to?"

Before Peggy could answer, the soldier cupped Amy's chin and tipped her head up. "I have a mission for you. Do you think you can do it?" the soldier asked.

"I can, I promise." Amy nodded.

"I need you to let the doctors look at you. Then I need you to be brave while I talk to her. Can you do that?" he asked.

"Then I can see you after?" Amy asked, hopefully.

"I'll do my best to come back to you."

"Aunt Peggy, you'll keep him safe, right?" Amy pulled back slightly and looked at her aunt.

"I promise. No one is going to hurt him while I'm around," Peggy asked.

"Okay. When do I have to see doctor?" Amy asked.

"Later tonight," Peggy answered.

Amy turned to her grandfather and blinked. He smiled softly. "Pop-Pop, will you tell me a 'Mandos story?" Amy asked.

"Sure, which one?" Dugan asked. "Azzano?"

"No." Amy shook her head.

"But it's your favorite."

"I know." Amy looked back at the soldier and studied him. Then she looked back at Dugan. "Tell me about one of the other bases."

"How about the time we found out Denier was as crazy as we thought he was?" Dugan said.

"I like that one too," Amy said. She settled back down in Soldat's lap and waited for Dugan to go on. He told her all about the time Dernier blew up an armored truck by rolling under it while it was still moving and attaching a bomb to its underside. Dugan wound up telling her three other stories before Peggy brought in a tray of food for Amy, Dugan, and the soldier.


	4. Home again

* * *

When the doctor finally arrived, Amy was a bundle of nerves but Soldat was allowed to stay for the first ten minutes before he had to go and answer questions. At the end of the exam, Dugan got his granddaughter to sleep then met with Coulson and the doctor.

"She definitely needs to see a therapist. I also recommend a strict nutritional diet until she starts growing as well as a tutor. She still talks like a five year old and doesn't seem to be able to read," the doctor explained.

"What about her injuries?" Dugan asked.

"Prior broken arm, sometime in the past year, extensive bruising across the torso, malnourished, no doubt mental trauma, and a bladder infection. They didn't treat her very well. I can write a prescription to treat the infection, but she'll need to be potty trained as well. I've found that kids this traumatized respond best to constant love, acceptance, and patience."

"Anything else?" Coulson asked.

The doctor went through his notes. "No, I believe that covers it. Everything is here in my notes." He handed the file to Dugan. "I also recommend she see a pediatrician at least twice a month. I have some doctors I can recommend in the area if you would prefer her not to see me again."

"We'll let you know," Dugan said. The doctor left and Dugan looked at Coulson. "And you?"

"I think we'll leave the decisions up to Director Carter," Coulson answered. While he was definitely high up in the organization this case and decisions about it rested firmly with Carter.

"Do you believe that she should be watched?" Dugan pressed.

"Colonel Dugan, I know that your unit was led to believe that after Captain Rogers crashed that plane it was only a matter of time before all of Hydra was rounded up or killed. However, based on what your granddaughter went through and the man being questioned by Director Carter, I believe it's safe to say that is no longer true. You faced them in the war and shortly thereafter, do you think they'll come after your granddaughter again?" Coulson asked.

"They were not happy when we were blowing up their bases in '44 so if they really did have her, then yes, they'll come after her again, especially if she really can make someone do something just by a thought."

"They called her Operation Kobik," a deep voice spoke from behind Dugan. "They wanted something they could use to completely control … me." Both Coulson and Dugan turned to look at Bucky.

"Did it work?" Coulson asked.

"I can hear her sometimes, in my mind," he answered. "It's usually only when she's touching me, skin to skin contact, but sometimes I feel it even when she's not."

"So that's what she meant when she made them leave. They've made her a telepath," Coulson said.

"It's all in the file." Peggy stepped into the hall as well.

"Peg, tell me straight. Does Hydra still exist?" Dugan asked.

"Yes. It's just as much a surprise to me as it is to you."

"And you believe they'll come for her again?"

"Yes, which is why I will be sending Agent Barton to stay with you for a few weeks to guarantee she's safe. I love your granddaughter too, Dum-Dum. I don't want to see her hurt either. If I could I would send an entire battalion of agents to protect her but that would raise too much suspicion and until I clean house in my organization, I can only send Barton and one other agent."

"Peg, can I speak with you alone for a moment?" Dugan asked.

Peg studied him then nodded and they walked to the kitchen. He laid the file in front of her and pointed to one line. "Oh," Peggy breathed.

"I don't know how to explain that to her."

"Maybe it doesn't mean what we think it means."

"But if it does—"

"Does she know?"

"Does she know what? That it's visible? I don't think so. That she's met a soulmate? I don't know. Who said soulmate is? I don't know."

"Maybe you should just ask her."

"Ask her everything I just asked you? And if she doesn't know any of it? I don't want those thoughts in her head." Dugan stared at his friend.

Peggy sighed. "That's your decision," she said.

"Besides if she does know about it, it could bring back bad memories. What if he's her soulmate? I don't want to do that until she's more stable."

"He who? Bucky? Wouldn't that be a good thing?"

"You don't know?" Dugan asked.

"Know? Know about what?"

"Cap. He and Bucky were …"

"No? Really?"

"I figured you knew."

"Suspected. We all did but no one knew for sure."

"Well, we can hypothesize all we want but we won't know for sure until they're ready," Dugan said. He was giving her that look again. The one she was so used to giving him. The one that said the decision was final and she better not question him.

"Understood," Peggy answered.

Dugan was about to ask another question when he felt a squeeze to his hand. He looked down in confusion to see his granddaughter. "Honey?" He asked.

"I gotta …" Amy stopped and looked at her feet.

"You gotta what?" Dugan asked. She still didn't answer so he bent down and smiled gently. "You're not in any trouble and I'll listen to anything you want to say."

She leaned forward and whispered, "pee-pee."

"Ok. Come on." He slowly got up and led her down the hall to the bathroom. "Do you need help?" he asked when she stopped and just stared at the toilet.

"I can—I can—" She stopped and stared at her feet. She didn't want to ask for help out of fear that she'd get yelled at but she didn't want to do it on her own if she made a mess.

"It's okay to ask for help," Dugan told her gently. He was coming up with more and more reasons to hate the men who had taken his little girl.

"Please," she whispered. Dugan helped her up on the potty and waited. It didn't take long for her to go but she cried as she did and Dugan's heart broke.

"I know it hurts. I'm so sorry," he told her.

"Can you make it stop?" she asked.

"In time. The doctor said most likely in a week or two as long as you take the special vitamins he gave you." Amy nodded. "You done?" Dugan asked. Amy nodded again. He helped her wipe then pulled her pants back up before taking her hand and leading her to find Peggy again. She was in the living room with Coulson, Clint, and the soldier. "How soon can I get her home?" Dugan asked.

"Tomorrow. We'll hold off until we're sure we're not being watched but I believe tomorrow will be fine," Peggy asked.

"Okay, then can you send one of your super spies to get my little girl some clothes?"

"Oh, of course. Agent Barton, would you mind?" Peggy asked.

"Uh, not at all. How do I know what size to get?" Clint asked.

"Ugh, I have to get down there again?" Dugan asked. He rolled his eyes and looked down at Amy. Where she once would have grinned up at him, the little girl avoided his eyes this time.

"Use the table," Peggy said. She motioned to the coffee table in the middle of the room. Dugan shook his head, smirking. He picked up Amy and let her stand on the table. He cupped his hands around her waist then around her chest. After putting her back on the floor and measuring her against his leg, he took the notebook from Clint and wrote down the sizes along with what to get.

Clint looked in over then looked at Dugan. "A birthday card? It's not her birthday is it?"

"How else will you explain why you're shopping for kids' clothes without the kid?" Dugan answered.

"Didn't think of that. Be back soon."

"And Barton, make sure it's everything on that list," Dugan said.

"I got it," Clint answered.

Amy climbed down off the table and up on the sofa into Soldat's lap. She pressed the soles of her feet together and held them like that as she studied them. "Aunt Peggy, when we go home, can Soldat come with us?" Amy asked.

"Bucky," he said softly.

"Hmmm?" Amy asked, looking at him.

"My name is Bucky," he clarified.

"Ok." She looked back at Peggy. "Can he, Aunt Peg? Can Bucky come home with me and Pop-Pop?"

Just like Peggy always had, she melted at the green eyes blinking up at her. "Of course," Peggy agreed.

"Thank you." Amy grinned and turned slightly to look up at Bucky. "Did you hear that? You get to come home. You'll finally be safe."

"I heard."

Clint returned with the bags about half an hour later and handed them to Dugan. "Everything you asked for," Clint told him. Dugan rifled through the bags and nodded. Then he looked up sharply. "What? I couldn't help it," Clint answered the unasked question. Dugan rolled his eyes and got up off the recliner.

"Ok, 'Melia, let's get you the dreaded B-word," Dugan said.

"Bananas?" Amy asked. "Bucky Bear?"

"You dread neither one of those," Dugan said.

"Bed time?" she frowned.

"Bath," he stated.

"I don't like bafs. They didn't make me take bafs."

"Probably why it hurts to go pee-pee. You'll feel better after you take one. For me, okay?" Amy pouted but Dugan didn't change his stance. She sighed but got up and went to him. Dugan pulled a shirt and a pair of pants from the bag that were too big for Amy. He tossed them to Bucky. "Get changed. That can't be comfortable."

"It's not," Amy said. She reached up and took her grandfather's hand. Dugan smiled at her then took her to the bathroom. When he got her out of the bathtub he wrapped her in a ducky bath towel Clint just couldn't resist getting. Dugan smiled and shook his head as he dried her off. "Pop-Pop, are you sure me and Soldat are safe?"

"Don't you trust your aunt Peg?" Dugan asked. He sat down on the closed toilet and pulled her into his lap. She sat bolt upright and stared across the room instead of leaning into him like she used to. His heart broke again. Yet another reason to hate the men who did this. His one saving grace was that they were either dead or imprisoned. 

"I trust you but maybe the bad guys got to you too," Amy answered.

"I promise I am not compromised. Do you remember what I taught you for when the bad guys came?"

"We need Kale. Who's Kale?"

"Kale is a vegetable. Have I said that at all?"

"No. That means you're safe. You and me and Gammie."

"Exactly. You trust me and I trust them. We're safe. I personally will never, ever let you or Bucky get hurt again. I'm going to do my best to ensure that." What he didn't tell her was it would involve her staying with him and not going back to her mother. Dugan loved his daughter very much but right now he needed his granddaughter where he could protect her.

"Okay," Amy nodded. "I cold." Dugan smiled and got her dressed.

It took some doing the next day, but eventually Dugan made it home with Amy and Bucky to Boston.

The minute he opened the door there was a gun in Dugan's face. Amy could see Bucky's hand reach for where the holster would have been if he had been in uniform but in street clothes and with his interrogation from Peggy, there was nothing there. Dugan instantly tucked Amy behind him and blocked the doorway.

"Easy, Jones, no threat," Dugan said.

"Prove it," Jones answered.

"The eagle flies at midnight," Dugan replied.

Jones pulled back the hammer on the pistol. "Oh yeah?"

"What are you—" Dugan started when Jones didn't back down.

"Emu, Pop-Pop," Amy said from behind him.

"No, it was eagle," Dugan said.

"It was eagle when you met Peggy in a forest to head to Russia," Jones said.

"Let me in my own house," Dugan demanded. Jones didn't answer, he only stepped back to make way. Dugan entered with Amy and Bucky behind him.

"Gabe?" A male voice called from the kitchen.

"All clear, Jim," Jones answered.

"Timothy?" A female voice called this time.

"I'm home and I brought guests," Dugan answered.

A woman came into the foyer as Jones closed the front door and Amy peaked around Dugan's legs to see her. "Gammie!" Amy cheered but she didn't move.

"Is that? It can't be," she said.

"It is. We found her. With the help of the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division," Dugan said.

"Who's that?" Amy asked.

"Who's who?" Dugan looked down at her.

"The Stra—Stra—" Amy trailed off and tightened her grip on his hand. She thought real hard and the name bloomed to the front of his mind. "Them."

"The Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division?" Dugan asked.

"Yeah. That's a lot of words. Can't you call them SHIELD?"

"Shield? Oh I get it like CIA or FBI. Can't believe we've never thought of that. SHIELD is the organization of super spies that Peggy runs. Really good people," Dugan said.

"Timothy, is it really...?" the woman pressed.

"Yes, Grace, it's really her. Go hug your grandma," Dugan told Amy. She let go of his hand and raced to her grandmother who knelt and wrapped her in a hug.

"Oh my poor baby, you haven't grown at all. We'll fix you right up. Are you hungry?"

"I okay." Amy hugged her grandmother none-the-less.

"'Melia, why don't you show Bucky to the guest room upstairs and make sure he knows where the bathroom is," Dugan suggested.

"And then you can look at your bed; Jim brought you a gift," Grace added.

Amy went to Bucky and took his flesh hand. "Come on, Bucky. This way," Amy said, tugging on his hand. Bucky followed her upstairs as Grace stood.

"What did they do to her?" Grace asked.

Dugan sighed. "It's terrible. She hasn't said much but the file ... She has an appointment with a child psychologist the day after tomorrow," Dugan explained before telling her most of what was in the file from the doctor.

"And that man?" Grace asked.

"Is it really Sarge?" Jones asked.

"It is. Peggy questioned him but his memories are scattered."

"I don't understand. Who is he?" Grace asked. She looked between the three men.

"That man is Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th," Dugan told his wife.

"You said that James Barnes didn't survive the war, that Captain Rogers saw him die," Grace argued.

"I also told you that most of our unit was captured in '43 and taken to a Hydra prison camp in Austria. The German scientist there took Barnes when he showed signs of pneumonia. I think they experimented on him. The head of Hydra was a man by the name of Johan Schmidt. I found out after the war that he was the first recipient of the Super Soldier Serum. We think that his scientist was forced to replicate it and try to use it on Bucky. If that's true then maybe it helped keep him alive and maybe it had something to do with the cryostasis they kept him under half the time."

"So he's here to stay?"

"For a while. He'll be seeing a psychologist with SHIELD and an agent named Fury for a few weeks but he's here so we can help him."

"You really think he doesn't remember?"

"I think they suppressed those memories. Took his loyalty and bent it for their use," Dugan said.

"Why did Amy say she was okay when I asked if she was hungry?" Grace asked. "Did you feed her?"

"I fed her before we left the safe house and then once on the road but it's been four or five hours since she ate. As much as I've learned over the past three days, I've come to realize that they were controlling her with food. They would feed her when she passed her test, whatever test they gave her and if she didn't she wasn't allowed to eat. If she asked for food, they forced her to take another test."

"What kind of test?"

"For my entire life, I thought telepathy and powers like that were science fiction. The weirdest thing I've ever seen is Steve and that was essentially just super strength and quick healing. Now my granddaughter can tell what I'm thinking with a thought. Remember when she asked about the ... SHIELD? How I knew she was talking about that and not one of you? Just a thought, it's all it takes. However, I did notice that her telepathy seems to require contact. No touching, her powers don't seem to work or maybe she's just never tried it," Dugan said.

Meanwhile upstairs Amy had shown Bucky both the bathroom and his room, leaving him in the bedroom to make her way to her own. There she found only one thing on her bed. "Bucky Bear," she cooed. "Come on, we got a friend to see." She put Peggy's bear on the bed and then walked back to the guest bedroom. She peeked inside to see Bucky sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. "Bucky?" she asked softly. He looked up sharply as she wrapped her arms around the bear. "Are you alright? You look sad. Pop-Pop gets sad sometimes. I give really good hugs. So does Bucky Bear and he's super soft." Bucky smirked slightly and opened his arms. Amy made her way to him and stopped within arms' reach but not in his face. He pulled her into a hug and held her tight. "It's ok now. Pop-Pop is going to take care of us."

"I know."

"Will you come say hi to Unca Jim and the General?"

"I don't know that I'm ready."

"Okay. That's okay. They're 'Mandos, they'll understand."

"'Mandos?"

"Howling 'Mandos. Like Pop-Pop and you. With Cap in the war."

"Okay. I'll come."

Amy took a step back and Bucky stood. "Do you want to hug Bucky Bear? He's really soft."

"You hug him for me?"

Amy squeezed the bear tightly then offered Bucky her hand. He looked at it for a moment before he took her hand and led her to the stairs. "Can you help me? I not too good at down."

Bucky picked her up to take her down the stairs. He was about halfway down, on the landing where the stairs split in half, one set turned back on itself to go into the kitchen the other went down to the front door, when the doorbell rang.

* * *

I am a much more visual person so here's a link to the layout of Dugan's home. 

<https://myevergreenehome.com/homes/chapman/>


	5. Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking can be good for the soul.

* * *

Bucky set Amy on the landing to his right where she couldn't be seen and pressed a finger to his lips. Amy nodded as Dugan grasped the door handle. Dugan glanced back at Bucky for a second then he opened the door. "Can I help you?" Dugan asked. He watched the two people in the doorway suspiciously. Of course he recognized Clint from the safe house but the Asian woman was new. Bucky watched the doorway, his hands clenched by his sides wishing more than ever he had a weapon but knew it was best just to stay put. Everything Amy had told him in the last couple of hours made him want to trust this man the way he supposedly used to but he wasn't sure he could.

"I'm Christopher and this is Mel—uh." The man stopped and looked at his companion.

"Melissa," the woman said.

"Right, Melissa. We just moved in down the street and thought we'd introduce ourselves to the neighbors," he finished.

"It's nice to meet you. Why don't you come in and I'll see if Grace has a pot on." They stepped inside and shut the door behind them. Bucky saw it was Clint and some woman he did not know. "So, who is your friend, really?" Dugan asked. The woman shook her head. "Jones has already swept for bugs, no one has been here since I left," Dugan assured them. "Why don't we go in the kitchen? Buck, if you're up for it?" Dugan glanced back at his friend who nodded and turned to Amy.

"This way," she said. She took his flesh hand and carefully made her way down the back steps into the kitchen. "I said I am not too good, not that I couldn't do it," Amy told him, reading his mind. Dugan picked up the remote from the couch and turned up the volume on the living room TV then ran the water in the sink.

"Everyone, this is Clint Barton and Melissa, they work for SHIELD. Agents, this is my wife Grace, Jim Morita, General Gabe Jones, Bucky Barnes, and my granddaughter, Amelia," Dugan said, pointing out each person as he said their name.

"SHIELD?" Clint asked.

"Did you not realize that's what the initials of The Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division spell?" Dugan asked.

"Huh, I did not. I don't think anyone did."

"I did," Amy said softly. "I thought Aunt Peggy said you're going to stay with us." Amy batted her eyes at Clint.

"I see things better from a distance. If I do my job right, you'll only know I'm here about once a week," Clint said. He smiled gently.

"What do you mean?" Dugan asked.

Clint looked back at Dugan. "Director Carter has asked that we stop in once a week to make sure she's okay."

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Amy asked.

"'Melia, why don't you go watch TV?"

Amy froze then withdrew into herself. Even though they had been seeing progress at the safe house, they knew that at times she would shrink back into herself as a protective measure. "Okay." Instead of going to the living room, she slipped over to Jim's side. She tugged on his shirt. He looked down as Dugan repeated Amy's question to Clint. "Can I ask you a question?" she whispered, holding tight to Bucky Bear. Jim knelt and nodded. "Is this my Bucky Bear?"

"I got him from your mom's place. He was on the couch where you left him." Jim smiled.

"Mommy didn't move him?"

"I think she wanted to keep him where you could find him when you came back."

"Thanks, Unca Jim," Amy said.

"You're welcome, Darling." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "We'll be done soon." Amy nodded and went to the living room. She glanced at the TV remote on the table between the two couches but didn't touch it; instead she climbed up on the couch and played with her Bucky Bear. She danced him along the couch cushions trying to ignore the adults talking in the background. Then the TV was turned to a cartoon. In a few seconds it caught and held her attention until Gabe sat down next to her. He handed her a plate with a sandwich and chips on it keeping a glass of milk in his left hand.

"I know you've been through a lot and that the next few weeks are going to be real tough for you. I just want you to know that your granddad and I and Jim are real proud of you. If you ever need anything from me, you can call any time, okay?" Gabe said gently.

"Yes, sir." She had nearly finished the plate of food and about half the milk when Bucky sat down next to her. "Hi, you probably don't 'member but this is Gabe Jones. He's a general for the Army. General, this is Bucky," Amy said.

"It's been a while but it's nice to see you again, Sarge," Gabe said.

"Uh, you too," Bucky answered slightly bewildered.

"Bucky, did they ever tell you what happened to Cap?'' Amy asked.

"No," Bucky answered.

Amy stared up at him then thought hard. She couldn't remember exactly what happened so she turned to Gabe. "Do you know, General?" Amy asked.

Gabe smiled at her then looked at Bucky. "We eventually found the main Hydra Base, the one they were shipping the weapons we were making to. Only when we got there, there was this massive plane. Cap told Agent Carter that there were bombs aboard for several U. S. cities. There wasn't time to land the plane safely so he crash-landed in the ocean. Somewhere between Germany and New York. Howard Stark spent a great deal of money and time combing the ocean trying to find him but with no luck."

"They never found him, did they?" Amy asked.

"No. Cap sacrificed his life for millions of others."

"That is just like him," Bucky said.

"You remember that?" Jones asked.

Bucky thought for a moment. "Yeah. Self-sacrificing idiot," he muttered.

Gabe smirked. "There was a time in basic training that our commander, Colonel Phillips, threw a training grenade at a group of recruits and Cap jumped on it to protect them not knowing it was a dud," Jones said.

"Peg told us that one night," Bucky added.

"Do you want some chips, Bucky?" Amy asked. She held the plate towards him. Bucky looked at her then at Jones who shrugged. Bucky swallowed but took a chip. After eating it he smiled. "More," she offered.

"You eat them."

"Do you not like them?" she pouted.

"They're good but I'm sure you're hungrier than I am."

"I share. Pop-Pop says sharing is caring. I care so I share."

"I know you care. You don't have to share to prove that to me."

"Oh, okay." Amy looked back at the plate and silently ate her chips, occasionally drinking from the glass of milk Jones was still holding for her. Bucky felt so bad about her sad face that he reached over and snagged a few chips from her plate. She glanced up at him out of the corner of her eye but held her pout. Bucky watched her a moment or two longer then took some more chips. Even then she still looked sad. At least right up until Jones poked her in the side tickling her. She giggled and grinned at Jones.

"I love that smile and I'm so glad you're home," Gabe said.

"Me too, General," Amy answered.

"I'm glad you're back too, Sarge." Jones said.

Bucky nodded and Dugan turned off the TV. "'Melia, do you want me to read you a story?" Dugan asked.

"Stories are for babies, I'm not a baby," she repeated the line she had been told a million times in the first three years of her capture.

"Jones just told you a story. How come that was okay?" Dugan asked. Amy refused to look at him as she shrugged her shoulders. "Sometimes grown-ups like stories too. How about I read a story and you sit on my lap and look at the amazing pictures? Admiring art is pretty grown up. Will that be okay?" Amy thought it over then glanced at Bucky.

"Okay." He disappeared into his den off the living room and returned with a children's fairytale book. He sat down on the love seat and Amy climbed off the couch and sat in Dugan's lap. "I can read it." Amy nodded.

"Okay," Dugan answered, turning the page to Sleeping Beauty. It was one of Amy's favorite stories. Amy put her hand next to Dugan's on the left page, brushing her fingers against his thumb as he held the page and she read every word perfectly. Dugan rethought his earlier assessment that she couldn't read and that her captors had only taught her how to use her powers. "Wow, every word. I love that story. How about another one?" Dugan asked.

Gabe and Jim who had both been watching her wondered about it too. Gabe wanted to make sure Dugan was right. "Amy, sweetie," Gabe said as he crossed to the bookcase and searched for a book. When he found the one he was looking for he looked back at the little girl. "Can you come here?" Dugan let her up and she went to Gabe. She looked up at him curiously. "Can you tell me what this says?" He held out the copy of a book to her after showing the title to Dugan. Jim and Grace wandered over as well and watched as Amy reached for the book. Gabe lowered it into her hands as he kept his hand away from hers.

She stared at the title then looked back at Bucky. "It's okay," he coaxed.

Amy bit her lip as she stared at the cover. She didn't want to get it wrong and get hit again. She looked back up at Gabe and swallowed. He only looked encouraging. "T—T—T …" She trailed off. She bit her lip and whimpered. Then she shook her head and threw the book at his chest. "I don't care. I'm done," Amy cried. She ran back to her grandfather and threw herself in his lap.

"What was that about?" Dugan asked, looking at his friend.

"I understand that your granddaughter is very smart but we know the kind of organization this is. I just wanted to see if what you're thinking, what we're all thinking, is right. And know we all see that a girl who can pronounce words like spindle and grandest feast and spinning wheel can't pronounce a word like Tom?" Gabe asked.

"It's possible. It's her favorite story of course she's going to know those words," Dugan argued. "Leave her alone."

"There's a point when protecting her becomes coddling. I did it to my own kid and I regretted it."

"Maybe you're right, but this is my grandkid. Stick with your own and don't tell me how to raise her," Dugan roared. Amy pulled away from him and ran behind the couch to Jim who picked her up and held her close. Jim could tell that Amy was doing her best to keep from crying. Her body however shook and Jim couldn't help but cuddle her closer. That's when he noticed she was muttering. He listened closer but couldn't hear her over Gabe's and Dugan's arguing.

"Enough!" Grace ordered. Both men glared at each other but backed down. "Sweetheart, will you look at me?" Grace asked, turning to her granddaughter. Amy clung tighter to him and he could finally hear her muttering apologies and asking not to be hit. Jim moved his hand from her back to the top of her head as it was pressed against his shoulder.

"It's okay, sweetie. No one's mad and no one's going to hit you. I'll never allow it. You know that, right?" Jim asked.

"I fink so," Amy whispered.

"What about Bucky? Do you trust him? He'd protect you, wouldn't he?"

"Yeah. He did." Amy nodded.

"Okay. I'm sure he'll continue to protect you just like we all will. Will you look at your grandmother for me? She'd like to talk to you."

Amy sniffed and pulled away from Jim slightly to look at the older woman. "Hi there. I know you don't like it when people argue. Your mom and dad did that a lot, didn't they?" Grace prompted.

"Uh-huh. Before Daddy left," Amy answered.

"Pop and Gabe just got a little grumpy. Can I ask you a question?" Grace asked.

"Okay," Amy said.

"How did you know about the word spindle? Pop and I always tell you it's a spinning wheel."

"I just know-ed."

"Amy."

"I just know-ed," she insisted.

"Sweetie, I won't be mad," Grace told her. Amy pressed her forehead against Jim's shoulder refusing to look at her grandmother.

"Honey, no one is mad and you're not in trouble. Your grandmother is just curious."

"Pop-Pop know-ed so I know-ed," Amy admitted.

"You used your powers?" Grace asked.

"Am I not 'posed to? The doctors said it was good," Amy said.

"It can be but when you're here, safe with Gammie and Pop-Pop, you don't have to use them anymore," Grace said. "Okay?"

Amy looked at her grandmother again. "Okay," she said. "How am I 'posed to know words though if I don't?"

"We'll have someone teach you. A tutor, I promise but I want you to really try."

"Okay." Amy smiled softly.

"What do you want for dinner? Pizza or Chicken Nuggets?"

"I'm okay."

"That's not what I asked."

"Uh," Amy bit her lip, "nuggets?"

"Chicken nuggets it is." Grace nodded and reached over to hug her granddaughter. Amy flinched and Grace pulled back. She couldn't understand why her granddaughter had let her hug her earlier but now wouldn't.

"She's not going to hurt you," Jim told her as he rubbed her back.

"But I was bad. They always hurt when I'm bad."

"You're not bad. You're a good girl. They're just trying to figure out what happened in the last five years."

"That how long I've been gone?"

"It is. That's a long time. Your grandparents were really sad," Jim said.

"I sad too," Amy said.

"Oh?"

"Uh-huh."

"Can your grandmother make you feel better? I hear she's got magic hugs."

"Her hugs are kinda magic," Amy admitted. She shifted a bit and reached for Grace who instantly took her. "I love you, Gammie."

"I love you too, sweetie."

After being put to bed that night, Dugan and Grace sat down in his den. "What are we going to do?" Grace asked.

"Love her. Take her to the psychologist and get their recommendation then show her how much we love her," Dugan answered.

"And for Bucky?" Grace asked.

"The same. I'm going to call Peggy tomorrow and see if we can create a statement to release to the press about her return."

"I don't want to. I just want to revel in our little girl being home."

"I know, Gracie, and if I could I would hide her away from the world. Unfortunately, it was a high profile case and I am a war hero. I never, ever, in my life, thought that I would regret what I did, but knowing that she isn't safe from that organization, I regret it now. I want her safe and I want to protect her," Dugan said.

"Maybe a short statement about her being home now and the men that held her are in prison and she's safe. Something without mentioning how we got her back or anything about Bucky," Grace said.

"I'll mention that to Peggy," Dugan said.

Late that night after Dugan and Grace had gone to bed, Bucky began to have a nightmare. Amy heard, or more like felt, his pain and made her way down the hall past the laundry room to Bucky's guest room. He was laying on his stomach, his flesh arm hanging over the edge of the bed. Amy walked a little closer to the bed and could see him sweating. She nervously got closer and gently touched his hand. What she got in return was a feeling of fear. She focused really hard on happy thoughts and after a few moments Bucky's face relaxed and he slept soundly. Amy pulled away and slowly went back to her room across the hall. She climbed back into bed and tried to fall back asleep but sleep didn't come easily. After trying for more than an hour, she climbed out of her bed and opened the door to her closet where she found her toy box. She rooted through the box and found two toy cars Jones's grandson gave her. She climbed back into her bed and played with the cars, dozing periodically until the sun rose.

Her grandparents said nothing about her being up super early. The day after that they took her to the doctor and waited for a while with her as she played with Bucky Bear. Soon a woman came out of the office and crouched in front of Amy.

"Hi there, sweetie. My name is Kate, I'm a doctor. A really good one. Would you like to step into my office? We can talk about anything you want to talk about. We can even just color," the doctor said. Amy looked away from Bucky Bear at the doctor.

"Can Pop-Pop come?" Amy asked.

"For a little bit," Kate said. She stood and offered Amy a hand. Dugan cleared his throat and Kate looked at him to see him shake his head. Kate smiled and lowered her hand. Amy slipped out of her chair and she and Dugan followed the doctor into her office. Grace continued to read through her magazine. Kate shut the door and motioned to the coffee table. "Amelia, will you draw me a picture?"

"Of what?" Amy asked.

"Anything you want," Kate said. Amy nodded and sat down at the table. Kate then nodded to her desk. "If you would," Kate said to Dugan. He nodded. He took a seat on one side and she took one on the other. "As I told you on the phone, this is just a cursory interview. I'll see if I can get her to talk about what happened but I need you and your wife to talk to her at home. That and show her love, acceptance, and how much you care."

"Of course. We're glad to have our granddaughter back."

"What about her parents?"

"My daughter loves her. Beth is a great mother but when I spoke to her yesterday she said she was not equipped to give Amy the care and love she needs. Beth's husband left when Amy was two, long before this ever happened. He hasn't spoken to my girls since then."

"You say that like he's not Amy's father."

"He's—" Dugan stopped. He glanced over his shoulder but saw Amy coloring away. "It's possible that he's not. We're not certain. He's the only father she's ever known."

"Is there a chance another man could come into her life and question the paternity?"

"I don't think so. What does that have to do with what she went through?"

"Children who have been through massive trauma, trauma like this, need a stable home. If someone is going to upend that stability, it helps to have a heads up," Kate explained. "What can you tell me about where she was and what she went through?" Dugan watched her. "I've already spoken with Mrs. Carter and the Director of SHIELD. I've signed a Nondisclosure agreement and been thoroughly background checked. I am also a board certified child psychologist so anything she says to me, anything we talk about is protected by doctor patient confidentiality. I can't discuss it unless she's threatening to harm herself or others. My specialty is abuse and violence cases with PTSD. I will do everything in my power to help that little girl but she needs a stable place to land with people who love her no matter what."

"Okay," Dugan said.

"Do you have any concerns other than wondering what she had gone through?" Kate asked.

"A few. She doesn't ask for food, we figure they used that to train her. Uh—sometimes she'll say things like "I hungry" or "I okay" or "I good" and we can't figure out why. I haven't seen that since she was real little. And sometimes she'll drop a letter in a word."

"The letter thing could be an accent. Bostonians tend to do that like saying "forevah" instead of "forever". The food thing sounds right. I do have a question: does she hide food? Like if you give her extra food, does she eat it right away or does she save it for later?"

"Most of the time she eats it right away but sometimes we'll find food wrappers in her room."

"That's normal for someone who has food withheld from her. As for dropping words, it happens when kids regress. From what I've read about what she went through, and it was the barest bones of the case, she may be regressing to a younger mindset. Sometimes when the mind can't deal with trauma we go back to the last time we were happy. For her that's when she was three or four. The more comfortable she is in your home, in her life, the happier she is, the more likely she is to grow and blossom and stop regressing. Is there anything you'd like to can tell me?" Kate asked. Peggy and Dugan had agreed that mentioning that group was Hydra was a bad idea. Not unless Amy brought it up herself but other than that what was in the file was all Kate needed to know at the moment.

Dugan shook his head. "Oh, there is one thing. Don't touch her. They weren't very nice to her so right now we're trying to limit the number of people touching her. She freaks out if she gets scared or surprised."

"Understood."

"I'm serious, Doc, you can't even help her up."

"I understand," the doctor agreed. Dugan turned his chair around as the doctor walked over and sat across the table from his granddaughter.


	6. At the Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to make sure this is clear, it should be obvious that I don't own anything Marvel created, but things like Amy, Grace, Doctor Kate and so on, are pure product of my imagination. Also the pictures most are found on the web (via pintrest or getty images) so I don't own those either.
> 
> As labeled below the blonde pictured is Doctor Kate (her being blonde has no relation to the role Sharon/Kate played in The Winter Soldier), and the brunette going grey is Grace Dugan, Dum Dum's wife and Amy's grandmother. 
> 
> Also this chapter in honor of US, UK, and Canada's Father's Day being tomorrow.

Doctor Kate:

Grace Dugan with baby Amy: 

* * *

"Hi," Amy said, looking up from her picture that she was coloring for a moment.

"Hi. Can you tell me about your picture?" Kate asked from across the table as she made herself comfortable.

"It's Soldat," Amy answered, going back to coloring in his jacket.

"And is he a friend of yours?"

"Uh huh. And of Pop-Pop's."

"Oh, I see. Is Soldat his name?"

"No. It's James, but Pop-Pop and Gammie call him Bucky. I don't think he likes being called either though."

"James or Bucky?"

"No. Bucky or Soldat. They called him Soldat and they hurt him lots, but he's not really Bucky anymore."

"What do you think he wants to be called?"

"He said Bucky but sometimes he gets real confused when you call him that. Like he doesn't know you're talking to him." Amy put the crayon down.

"Choice is very important and it is best to accept a choice one has made about themselves."

"I don't want him to feel bad. I didn't know him when he was Bucky; all I knew was Soldat but he didn't know who he was as Soldat and he's not really Bucky any more. Not the same Bucky he was when Pop-Pop knew him."

"He's asking you to call him Bucky?"

"He did before we came home."

"Then maybe you should call him Bucky and get to know him as he is now."

"I didn't think of that." Amy paused and stared at her picture of Bucky. "Ms. Kate, am I bad?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Gammie and Pop-Pop say I'm a good girl but the doctor said I wasn't."

"What doctor is that?"

"The one where they held me in the big building."

"He wasn't nice?"

"No. He always poked me." Amy's nose scrunched up and she frowned.

"Shots," Dugan said softly.

Kate glanced at him. She smiled gently at the little girl. "I think the doctor wanted you to be good so he would tell you that you weren't so you would try as hard as you could to be good."

"So I am good?"

"Do you think you are?"

"I try really hard."

"I think that's more important than being good." Kate waited a few minutes and eventually Amy looked at her. "Do you remember what happened when they were holding you at that building?"

"Most of it." Amy picked up a black crayon and a new piece of paper and began to scribble on it.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Could be good for you."

"Don't wanna." Amy shook her head as she colored harder.

"Ok, you don't have to," Kate said.

"That easy?" Amy asked.

"Yep. I'm here for you to talk to if you really want to talk, but I'm not going to make you."

"Pop-Pop?" Amy asked, looking up from her picture.

Dugan swallowed. Of course he wanted her to talk to the doctor or to him but according to the doctor, pushing Amy to talk was a bad idea. "If you want to talk, we're all here to listen but no one is going to make you if you don't want to," Dugan said.

"Okay," she said softly.

"Is there something you would like to tell me?" Kate asked.

"Not really," Amy said.

"Tell me about your picture."

"It's black," Amy said.

"I see, and does it represent anything?"

"It's just black."

"Oh. Okay." It was quiet in the office for a few moments. Then Amy looked up at the doctor.

"Ms. Kate, can I go home now?" Amy asked.

Kate watched her then shook her head. "I still want to talk to you about your mom and dad."

"Haven't seen Daddy in a long time. Mommy says he just wasn't ready to be a daddy. That's okay, Pop-Pop and Gammie make up for it. He'll come back when he's ready," Amy went back to scribbling on her paper.

"What about your mom?"

"Mommy's okay."

"Just okay?"

"I know she loves me, and she tries but—no, she's okay."

"Amy, do you understand what a safe space is?"

"No."

"Essentially a safe space is somewhere you can talk about anything and not be judged. Somewhere that whatever you say isn't going to go any further." Amy continued to color.

"'Melia, do you understand?" Dugan asked.

"I—" Amy bit her lip. "Yes."

"'Melia, it's okay not to understand," Dugan said.

"I okay," she insisted.

Dugan sighed and got up, going to her. He knelt next to her. After a quick glance back at Kate as if to emphasize what the girl had said, Dugan cupped Amy's chin and lifted it a little. "If there is something you don't want me or Grandma to know, I can leave the room and you and the doc can talk. Anything you tell her she won't tell us unless you want us to know. Okay?" Dugan asked.

"Oh. Okay."

"Do you want me to go?"

Amy studied Dugan. He let her chin go so she could consider his offer. She looked back down at her crayon, toying with it. "Not really. I love my mommy and I don't want to hurt her feelings."

"It's okay. You're safe here and I'm not going to tell her," Kate told Amy.

Amy put her crayon down and picked up Bucky Bear. She hugged him tight. "I don't want to live with Mommy. She's sad a lot and doesn't play with me like Gammie and Pop-Pop do."

"What kind of play?" Dugan stood and moved back to his chair.

"With my Army men and Legos and Bucky Bear. Mommy's too busy to play so lots of times, I have to play by myself. I don't like that. Pop-Pop's busy sometimes too, but eventually he plays with me. And when he can't Gammie usually does or she'll let me help her cook."

"Did they tell you that you have to go back to your mom?"

"No, but that's who I lived with before. And she's my mommy."

"If you got to pick, who would you rather stay with?"

"Pop-Pop, but I want Mommy to visit."

"That sounds nice."

"Yeah, and maybe General and Unca Jim can come over sometimes too."

"I see. What about your friend?"

"He's staying with Gammie and Pop-Pop too."

"Does he play with you too?"

"Not really, but he keeps me safe which is good." Amy looked at Dugan. "Pop-Pop, can we go home now?"

"Absolutely," Dugan answered.

"Amy, why don't you go out to your grandmother and you grandfather will be out soon. I just need him to sign some boring adult paperwork," Kate said.

Amy nodded and got up taking her picture of Bucky with her. She found her grandmother hadn't moved though she did look up when the office door opened. "How'd it go?" Grace asked.

"Okay. She's talking to Pop-Pop now. She let me draw a picture of Bucky, see?" Amy said.

Grace took the picture and smiled. "It's an incredible likeness. Did she ask you about being held in the big building?"

"By the bad guys? Yeah, didn't wanna talk about it. She didn't make me."

"You know we'll listen if you want to tell us. We won't get mad."

"I don't 'member most of it and I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok, that's fine, sweetie. We're here if you do though."

"Okay." Amy danced Bucky Bear along the seat next to her grandmother's until Dugan came out of the office.

On the way home, Dugan turned the radio on and faded it to the back so it would drown out his voice to Amy's ears. Once he was sure Amy wasn't paying attention, Dugan told his wife what the doctor said, making sure to stress the idea that traumatized kids responded well to love, care, and stability.

The first tutor that Peggy sent over that afternoon left after half an hour with the impression that Amy was a genius with a college level intelligence and education. The second on the other hand was strictly instructed not to touch Amy or to let Amy touch her. With that rule in place, Grace and Dum-Dum found out that Amy had little to no education, though she responded well to guided questions.

Later that night, Amy found Bucky in his room in the armchair next to the bed. "Hi," she said softly. "Up?" She lifted her arms and Bucky used his flesh hand to pull her up into his lap draping his left arm over the chair arm and pushing it as far away as possible. "Can I ask you something?" Amy asked.

"What's your granddad say?" Bucky asked.

Amy rolled her eyes. "May I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you really want me to call you Bucky? You seem to not know who he is."

"I'm learning."

"But you're not really him."

"I'm also not the soldier."

"So…" Amy pouted.

"Do you like being called Kobik?"

"Don't know. They never called me anything. The lady doctor called me that but everyone else just ordered me around."

"I think it would be alright if you called me Bucky. Even though I'm not the man I used to be, I'm figuring out who I am and from what I do remember, Bucky Barnes was a good man to be."

"I could help," Amy said hopefully.

"This is something I have to do on my own. I want you to try to get by without using your powers unless it's absolutely necessary."

"But the doctor said…"

"You don't have to listen to that doctor anymore. Just your grandparents."

"And you?"

"I'm not sure I know what's best for you like your grandparents do."

"Okay." Amy looked down considering what to say. "Do you feel safe here?"

"Safer than with Hydra."

"Hydra? The bad guys from Pop-Pop's stories?" Amy stared at him confused.

"Turns they aren't as defeated as we thought they were."

"Are they who had me?"

"Yes."

"But they hurt people."

"Didn't they hurt you?"

Amy sighed softly. "Yes," she answered.

"But you don't have to go back."

"I know." They sat in silence as she leaned against his right shoulder. Bucky looked down a while later to see her fast asleep against his shoulder. He shifted her slightly and took her to her room and put her down on the bed. He covered her up and went back to his room.

Over the next couple of weeks, when Grace brushed Amy's hair out after her baths, the little girl asked to watch in the mirror so Grace would sit her on the vanity top and Amy would stare at herself in the mirror until one night after her bath. When Grace tried to lift her and Amy threw a fit, begging and crying not to see herself in the mirror. Grace agreed and they sat down on Amy's bed instead. Grace also noticed after that Amy also refused to look in the mirror when she brushed her teeth or washed her hands.

Finally Grace asked about it after brushing out the girl's hair as she got her ready for the day. "Amy, honey, is there something wrong with your reflection?"

"What's a 'flection?" Amy asked. She turned and looked up at her grandmother.

"It's what you see in the mirror when you watch me brush your hair."

"Oh. Not really, I just don't...no, I okay."

"It's alright to tell me I won't get mad."

"My 'flection, she looks sad. Like she did when they had me. Don't like looking at her."

"She only looks sad because you look sad. Are you not happy here?" Grace asked.

"I love being here, Gammie. It's fun and I'm safe and I know you love me. I okay," Amy answered. Grace only watched her. Amy glanced up at her grandmother. "You and Pop-Pop are so good to me but I look at her and I know what they did to her and she's sad."

"Because she reminds you of then?"

"Uh-huh."

"What if she didn't remind you so much of then? If you're having fun here you'll be happier and she can be happier too."

"I am having fun, Gammie. I don't know how to say it."

"Is it your appearance? The red hair and the green eyes? Is that what makes her so sad? We can dye your hair. Make you look a little less like you did back then. Change is good for the soul."

"But I like Pop-Pop's hair." Amy twisted a strand of it around her finger. Both she and Dugan both had red hair whereas Grace and Beth were brunettes.

"I know and it looks good on you but maybe seeing you with a different color will make you and your reflection feel better. At the very least it'll make you look a little different so you don't think about back then all the time and if you don't like it, we can always change it back. A friend of mine owns a salon. We can try different colors to see if it helps."

"You can really turn my hair different colors?"

"Absolutely." Grace offered Amy her hand and the girl took it.

They started with all different colored wigs to see which one Amy would like best and she settled on a golden blonde color. So Grace's friend Trish pulled out the matching color bottle and proceeded to color the young girl's hair. Though most people would advise against coloring a kid's hair so young, insisting they wait until they were at least 16 or so, Grace would do anything to help her granddaughter. Trish gave Amy a hand held mirror once she was done and showed the little girl how to hold it up so she could see the reflection behind her. Amy smiled once she had viewed it from all the different angles.

"Gammie, is Pop-Pop going to be mad?" Amy asked.

"No. He and I both want you to be happy and if this helps, then we're all for it. That's what really matters; our granddaughter, happy." Amy grinned and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything you think I should know or you want to request, leave it in the box below. Thanks


	7. Mommy

Richard and Beth Portland (Amy's Parents)

* * *

A few days later, Grace was watching Amy and her teacher working through the first grade workbook when Dugan's phone rang. Normally it wouldn't have bothered her but the look on his face worried her. "Tim, what is it?"

"We need Kale. Now!" Dugan said.

Grace swallowed but went into the breakfast room and picked up Amy then led the teacher down the stairs, around a corner, down the hall, and into the panic room, shutting the massive door.

"Mrs. Dugan?" Theresa asked.

"We have some unexpected company and we just want to be safe."

"Can I help?" Amy asked.

Grace set Amy down next to the little table in the room and pulled the coloring book and crayons in front of the girl. "No. You just sit right here and keep Bucky Bear safe." Grace told her.

"Okay." She sat down at her little table and played with her bear ignoring the coloring book. When Dugan came downstairs with the all clear, Amy told them how hungry she was. "Pop."

"Yeah, 'Melia?" Dugan asked.

"I'm hungry," Amy said. Dugan's jaw almost dropped in shock. It was the first time since she had come back that she had asked for food.

Dugan shook it off and smiled at his granddaughter. "Okay, lunch break, Teach," Dugan said, glancing at Theresa. She nodded and they went back upstairs.

"What would you like?" Grace asked Amy.

"Uh ..." Amy bit her lip as she worked her way up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, her eyes landed on Bucky. "You're still here," she said in disbelief.

"Where else would I be?" Bucky asked.

"I thought you leaved."

"I wouldn't leave. I'm not sure it's safe to have both of us in the same place but I'm working through that."

"What's for lunch?" Amy asked Bucky.

He frowned then took a few steps towards the fridge. He looked at the list on the front that the doctor had given them. The doctor wanted to keep Amy on a strict diet to make sure she was eating right, putting and keeping weight on, and that she was getting used to eating more than granola bars and nutritional supplements. Just about once a week, Amy would go in to the pediatrician and he'd give them an updated list to stick to. "Peanut butter toast?" Bucky suggested. That happened to be something that was consistent across each list though it moved from main course to supporting dish.

"I like Nut Buttah Toast."

"And what else?" Bucky asked.

"I—I don't know," Amy answered.

Bucky looked over the list again as Amy watched him nervously. "How about some apple sauce and hot dogs?"

"Sauce and Dogs." Amy cheered. Grace smiled and got to fixing lunch as Dugan fixed four ham sandwiches for the adults.

After lunch, Amy went back to her workbook. Grace sat down next to her husband on the couch and kept her voice down. "Do you know who they were?" Grace asked.

"They didn't say. We think maybe Hydra but with a show of force they left. We'll be fine."

"What if they come back?"

"We'll deal with them then." Dugan placed his hand gently over hers. "It's fine. They're safe and no one is coming for them."

"You better be right."

"When have I ever been wrong?" Dugan smirked.

"The man watching your granddaughter work."

Dugan shook his head. "Point taken."

Luckily, Dugan turned out to be right and for the next three weeks, it was business as usual. Amy continued to see her pediatrician and tutor, she and Bucky both saw therapists, though his was visited in strict secrecy, and Bucky's memories were slowly coming back.

Then they got another visitor though this one wasn't as bad. Dugan opened his door one Saturday to find his daughter there. "Beth," he said softly.

"Hi, Dad. May I come in?" Beth asked. Dugan stepped back and she came in. When she walked into the kitchen, Grace looked up and swallowed.

"Beth, what brings you over?" Grace asked.

"Just want to see my girl," Beth answered. "If that's alright with you." Normally Grace and Tim wouldn't question any parent wanting to see their child but their daughter wanted nothing to do with Amy when she had come back from the facility in Kansas and now she did. Grace just found it a bit out of character. Grace reluctantly nodded and motioned to the living room where Amy was coloring at the coffee table. Beth walked over and crouched next to her. "Hi, sweetheart," Beth said.

"Hi, Mommy. Do we have to go home?" Amy asked. Amy looked up at her mother and toyed with the crayon.

"No sweetie. Pop-Pop's going to keep you here a while longer."

"Okay, thank you. Have you met my friend Bucky?" Amy motioned to Bucky who was sitting on the couch. He shoved his left hand under his leg so she wouldn't see it was metal. He wanted one thing that he didn't share with the entire world.

"It's nice to meet you," Beth said. Bucky nodded though he watched her for the rest of the night. She didn't seem to pose a threat but Bucky couldn't be too careful. It all came to a head that night. Bucky once again had a night terror that woke both Amy and Beth.

Amy went across the hall and saw Bucky tossing in his bed. "Bucky," she said softly. "Bucky?" Amy crept closer to his bed and his eyes flew open. "Bucky?" Amy asked, creeping closer.

"Must protect." Was his answer. Then Amy noticed he was looking past her. Amy glanced over her shoulder but didn't see anyone.

"Bucky?" Amy asked again. She backed away slightly as he turned to get up. "Bucky?" she pressed. He didn't answer her. Bucky moved towards the door with Amy backing away in front of him.

"Amy, Amelia, come here." her mother hissed at her. "Now, Amelia."

"But Bucky ..." Amy protested.

"Now.''

Amy frowned but went to her mother. Beth tucked her daughter behind her as Bucky moved towards them. Before Beth could shut the door Bucky was there and pressed one hand against the door and the other against the frame to keep it open. "Bucky, stop. Please!" Amy begged.

"Amy, get in the bathroom. Go now," Beth demanded. Amy whined but did as she was told. She could hear her mother demanding Bucky go away. Amy went into her room through the connecting bathroom and around to the other side of the stairs.

"Sarge?" Dugan said from his doorway. "Sarge? Bucky, what are you doing?"

"Bucky," Amy called from her side of the stairs. He looked to her then reached to her mother almost as though she was in the way of him getting to Amy. When Bucky's hand landed on Beth's shoulder, Amy tried her hardest to make him stop. It didn't work until one word unknowingly slipped from her lips. "Sputnik." Instantly it was like someone punched him. He swayed on his feet then collapsed backwards. Dugan rushed to him and caught him. Dugan put Bucky back in his bed then went to Beth.

"Are you alright?" Dugan asked.

"You brought a man that dangerous into a house with my daughter and you say I'm unfit?" Beth snapped.

"Pop?" Amy asked.

He gave his daughter a stern look after glancing at Amy. He held up a finger to Beth and walked around the staircase to his granddaughter. He knelt in front of her and smiled softly. "Bucky's okay, he just had a really bad dream and didn't know what was happening. I need you to make me a promise, Amelia," Dugan said gently but sternly.

"You never call me Amelia," Amy protested.

"Not unless I need you to be serious and this is really serious."

"Okay. What is it?" Amy asked.

"I need you to promise me that when that door is closed, you do not go in there. I don't care what you hear in there, you do not go in there when that door is closed. Promise me, Amelia."

"But they told me ... they told me—" Amy stopped and wrapped her arms around herself.

"They told you?" Dugan pressed gently.

"I's supposed to help him. I is supposed to make him easier help people. They said—"

"Honey, I know, but promise me?" Dugan said.

"Okay. I promise," Amy said.

"Good girl. Now, go back to bed," Dugan said. Amy pouted but Dugan hugged her so she reluctantly did as she was told. Her door shut and Dugan walked back to his daughter to do some damage control. Amy cuddled up in her bed with her bear. Though she couldn't really hear what was being said, she could tell they weren't happy about what happened.

The next morning Amy sat down for an oatmeal breakfast and didn't see her mom, grandfather, or Bucky, but her grandmother was reading the newspaper. "Gammie, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, sweetie, and no one is mad. Bucky and your granddad are talking in the den and your mom left early this morning."

"Ok." Amy tucked into her food and Grace watched her carefully.

"Amy, did you ..." Grace trailed off not sure where she was going with the question. Finally she decided. "Do you know why Bucky stopped last night? Was it something your mom said?"

"Not 'xactly."

"Then what?" Grace did her best to keep her tone curious and not angry to keep Amy from shutting down and withdrawing.

"I'm not supposed to tell anyone." Amy dragged her spoon through her oatmeal, avoiding her grandmother's eyes.

"Did your mom do something?"

"No. The doctor said I couldn't tell."

"Did you do or say something?" Grace asked. "You can tell me. I'll keep it a secret."

"I did it. He had a bad dream, said he had to protect, then he tried to hurt Mommy. So I thought really hard like the last time they wanted me to stop him. When they made him try to hurt me but it didn't work. Then I 'membered the secret the nicest doctor lady told me _. "If nothing works and you're trying really hard but it still doesn't work, there's a word that will make him go to sleep. Just one word."_ It's like she said, just one word and it worked. It really worked. He went to sleep."

"And what's that word?"

Amy clamped her hands over her ears, slammed her eyes shut, and shook her head hard back and forth. "Can't! Can't! Good girls never say the word. Won't. I'm a good girl. Good girl." Grace rushed around the table and took Amy's face in her hands.

"Amy, Amy, sweetheart. Stop. I'm sorry. Please, stop." Grace told her. Amy stopped babbling that she was a good girl and peeked one eye open. Grace pulled Amy's hands down. "I'm sorry. I won't make you tell me."

"Promise?" Amy pouted.

"I promise."

"Okay." Amy went back to eating her oatmeal in silence for a bit. "Why did Mommy leave?"

Grace sat back down in her seat and tried to think of something to say to Amy so she wouldn't feel abandoned again. It was one of Amy's biggest fears. Amy stopped eating when Grace didn't answer right away. "Your mom ... She had things to do. That's okay though, we're still here."

"And Bucky's here too?" Amy asked. Grace nodded. "Will he play with me when Pop-Pop is done with him?"

"You can ask but right now, you need to eat your breakfast."

"Yes, Ma'am." Amy picked up her spoon and went back to her breakfast.

Two days after that, Dugan got a phone call. One that had all the adults worried and locked in the den as Amy and her tutor worked through the end of her first grade workbook. When they came out, Theresa looked up but didn't say anything and, after a moment, shook her head then looked back at the workbook and talked Amy through the rest of the page.

It was less than three hours after Theresa left the home for the day that three vans rolled up outside. Grace watched through from the kitchen as it was a straight shot through the butler's pantry to the front dining room and out the front windows to the driveway. Men piled out of the vans and began to surround the house. "Timothy," Grace said. Dugan nodded and looked at his granddaughter then back at his wife. Grace nodded and moved to the living room where Amy was watching a newer kids' movie. A movie called _The Emperor's New Groove_. It was at the point where they were tied to a rock and about to go over the waterfall, when the front and back doors opened and the FBI came in the house ordering everyone to surrender.

"Hands up! Nobody move!" one of the men ordered as he trained his weapon on Bucky. Several men followed behind the first, each armed with what looked like an assault style rifle and many of them trained on Bucky. Amy slid off the couch and stared at the men.

"Easy. Everyone just take a breath. There's no need to rush into anything," Dugan said calmly his hands elevated but not all the way in the air.

"Sir," one of the other men behind the first said. "The child."

Amy whimpered, drawing the agents' attention. "Bucky," she cried.

"Amy, do not move!" Grace ordered. Unshed tears lingered in the girl's eyes but she held still as her eyes darted between everyone in the room.

"If there is one shred of humanity in you, let my wife take Amy out of the room. Please, she doesn't need any more trauma," Dugan offered.

"No one is going anywhere. Get on the floor," the lead agent demanded of Bucky.

"Bucky!" Amy whined as the first tears rolled down her face. "Bucky, make them go away."

"I'll surrender peacefully and let you do whatever you want, just let me say goodbye. Let me make this right with her and I'll do what you want," Bucky pleaded.

"Sir," the other agent pressed again.

"Fine, stand down," the first agent ordered into his mic. The other agents slightly relaxed but they watched Bucky suspiciously.

Bucky slowly moved across the room and knelt in front of Amy. He tried to smile for her sake. "I have to go away now."

"No! You can't! You promised," Amy demanded.

"I know and I'm sorry." Bucky swallowed. "I promised to always protect you and I have to do this to do that."

"But they're going to make you go back and you're going to get hurt."

"Kobik," he said softly. "I know you're scared but you're the strongest person I've ever met. I need you to be brave. For me. I can't be brave if you aren't. Can you do that? Can you be brave and hold down the fort? Please?"

"No. Not if you have to go back." Amy threw her arms around Bucky and his heart broke. He hated that it had come to this but he had to go to protect her. Hopefully these agents didn't know anything about the girl and he could get them out of the house and away from her so she'd be safe. Part of him wished he had disappeared into the forest after the helicopter crash but the selfish part of him wouldn't have given up the last six weeks even if it meant a life free and clear.

"Please. Try for me. Hold down the fort and I will be back. I will see you again," he told her, hugging her close.

"I love you," she whispered.

Bucky only pressed a kiss to her head before letting Grace pick up the little girl. Grace held her close and kept Amy's head directed away as Bucky put his hands on the back of his head and waited for the cuffs. Soon he was being led out the front door where there were now six news vans and just as many cameras pointed in his direction. He shook his hair out of his face and tried not to let his face fall into what Dugan called his resting murder face. If there was any way to make sure Amy would see him again it was to follow Dugan and Peggy's orders. _"Be remorseful and make sure the media gets a clear shot of his face."_ According to them it would help to prove he was a war hero and a prisoner of war. Maybe it would help. Shortly after Beth had spent the night over, Peggy had gotten a tip from a contact in the CIA that they had received word The Winter Soldier was in the U.S. and in Boston, so Peggy and Dugan had come up with a plan. A plan that would reveal that The Winter Soldier, considered by most to be a notorious assassin, was also a man held prisoner since 1944 and brainwashed. It would earn him favor with the population and hopefully keep him from being killed in a black ops site. That's why the news crews were there. Peggy made sure to call in an anonymous tip about the raid the Department of Justice and FBI were planning and requested they be there. She also let slip that the man was rumored to be a war hero named James Barnes as she leaked some of the Hydra files to the media sites.

Bucky was thrown in the back of a van and taken away. The news reporters filmed the entire thing but as they approached the house for comment, SHIELD stepped in and swept them away to protect the family's privacy.

No matter which news channel he turned it to over the next three hours, Dugan saw basically the same headline. _"FBI raid home in Boston"_ which was followed by _"FBI suspect arrested in Boston"_ and then _"Man known as The Winter Soldier arrested"_. Dugan checked back a few hours later to see even the local channels had breaking news all with the same headline: _"The Winter Soldier is James 'Bucky' Barnes, War Hero."_

"Turn it off." It was a soft command from his wife but it was no less strict. Dugan looked at his wife in surprise. "Go watch it in the den with the door locked. You are not watching it out here."

"Grace," he protested.

"I finally got your granddaughter down without waterworks; I won't have you setting her off."

"Yes, Ma'am." Dugan shut off the TV and went into his den shutting the door behind him. He proceeded to read everything he could find on the so-called raid and what the news was speculating about Bucky.

Amy missed all of the headlines and the news stories over the next few days as she couldn't focus on anything other than missing Bucky. It just wasn't the same without him. Then a lawyer dropped by to make it even worse even if he didn't actually mean to. First, he spent a long time talking to Dugan and Grace in the front room as Amy worked with her tutor but then he sat down across from her.

"My name is Christopher Franks. I'm a lawyer working to help Bucky stay out of jail. Do you know what that means?" he asked.

"I think so," Amy answered.

"Jail is a really bad place for really bad people which I know Bucky isn't. A lawyer is someone who talks to the judge and to the jury to make a point about whether or not the person they think did something actually did it. The jury is 12 people who decide whether or not they believe the person did it and a judge is the person in charge."

"But they made Bucky do things. Really bad things."

"He's as much a victim as you are and I'm going to do my very best to make sure the jury understands that."

"And then Bucky can come home?"

"That's what we're hoping for."

"But if it doesn't work and you can't convince the jury?"

"Then ... let's not worry about that until it comes to that."

"Ok? Do other people get to talk to the jury? Maybe I can convince them he was hurt by them."

"I understand that and it's an option, but for right now Bucky, your grandad, and I agree that we're going to keep you as a last resort. Sort of a secret weapon."

"Oh, okay."

"One of the main points in my argument is that he was hurt by them and they made him do it by brainwashing him."

"Okay. Do you think it will work?"

"I don't like to lose so there's a very good chance it will work."

"Okay."

"Amy, one of the reasons I don't want to have to have you talk to the jury about what happened with Bucky is because you don't want to talk about it and it makes you sad. I don't want to make you sad."

"But it's for Bucky; I can do it for Bucky. I'm brave."

"Bucky told me you are so that's why I said secret weapon."

"Okay." Amy nodded.

There was nothing more that the lawyer could tell her so he stood. "Nice bear," he said gently.

"My bear," Amy said, gripping it tighter. She had taken to carrying Bucky Bear everywhere and rarely let it out of her sight. Christopher reached for the bear, she took it by its arms and whacked his hand with the bear before folding it back into her arm. "My bear," Amy repeated.

"I'm sorry," Christopher said. He smiled, ruffled her hair, and then walked with Dugan to the front door.


	8. The Farm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to mention something I hadn't before. The first 6 and a half chapters were written during Nanowrimo, (with exception of the last 600 or so words of the sixth chapter and the last half of the seventh chapter, which were both written during December) and it was only about 16,000 words which is less than a 1/3 of the number of words that you're supposed to write if you're participating. Anyway...
> 
> I do hope you enjoy this chapter. And as usual I borrow images from the internet.
> 
> Minor side note, Happy Birthday Steve Rogers

_This chapter guest staring Kellan Lutz as Barney Barton and his dog Kota as Buddy the Australian Shepherd_

__

_Amy with Lucky_

* * *

Not long after the lawyer left, Clint stopped by and had a long talk with Dugan. When he came out he smiled and sat down across from the young girl as she colored and clung tight to the bear. Theresa hadn't been back since the arrest. "How are you doing?" Clint asked as she watched him. Dugan sat down on the couch behind Amy.

"I miss Bucky."

"I know you do. Besides bringing him home, is there anything I can do to make it better?" Clint asked. Amy thought about it and shook her head. "My brother, his name is Barney—" Amy pointed to the TV. Clint glanced at it then realized what she was talking about. "Yes, like the purple dinosaur, anyway, he has a farm in a small town. Would you like to go visit?"

"I don't know him," Amy said.

"I know, but he's a great guy. His wife Laura is really great too. They got a dog, horsies, a lot of land; he can even teach you to ride."

"Can I see Bucky there?"

"I don't think so."

"Pop?" Amy turned to look at Dugan.

"Sweetheart, Bucky's got to go through a trial like the lawyer told you and he has to focus on that for a while. A lot of people around here don't know Bucky like we do so they're going to say some pretty nasty things about him and they won't listen to anyone telling them any different. I don't want you to have to hear that when you and I both know different. Maybe it's best if you go stay with Barney and Laura for a while," Dugan told her.

"Will you come too?" Amy asked, still looking at her grandfather.

"Maybe to visit from time to time but Bucky is going to need a lot of my help so I want to be here for him," Dugan answered.

"Ok. And you'll tell me when Bucky's coming home?"

"Of course."

"Mr. Clint, is it going to be just you and me going?"

"No, my partner Melissa is going with us," Clint answered.

"You trust her?" Amy asked.

"Yeah, I trust her."

"Do I have to see a doctor there too?"

"Uh, Dugan?" Clint looked to the older man.

"Not as often," Dugan said.

"But I still do?" Amy asked.

"Yeah," Dugan said.

"My sister in law, Laura, she's a really great lady and she loves to listen. You can tell her anything and she'll keep it to herself," Clint said, looking back at the girl.

"And if I don't want to talk?" Amy asked.

"She won't make you," Clint answered.

"Ok, when do we go?" Amy asked, resigned.

"First thing tomorrow morning," Clint told her.

Amy nodded. "Can Bucky Bear come too?"

"Of course, how can we leave without Bucky Bear?" Clint answered.

Leaving her grandparents' house and going to the Barton farm in Iowa was hard for Amy. She didn't want to leave them or be so far from Bucky but she knew that her grandfather thought this was best for her so she didn't argue. Well, that and arguing with her captors got her punished and she didn't want to take that chance here. So she quietly said goodbye to her grandparents, hugging them both, then climbed into the booster seat in the back of the dark sedan.

From there they drove to a small airport and got on a private jet which took them to a small airport in Iowa. As they flew Amy looked around the airplane. "This plane looks like the one Aunt Peggy has."

"When we got you to the safe house after the helicopter?" Clint asked. Amy nodded. "It's the same plane. However it is not Director Carter's, she borrowed it from her friend Tony Stark."

"Stark?" Amy asked, her brow furrowed. "I heard that name before."

"Perhaps Howard Stark?" Melissa suggested.

"He made Cap's shield," Amy said.

"Tony is his son," Clint said.

A dark red, pickup truck picked them up at the airport and the man driving looked a lot like Clint. "You were not kidding. She is really tiny," he said.

"That's not her fault," Clint said.

"Didn't say it was."

"Can we get on the road?" Melissa asked. Clint and the man both looked at her but nodded. Clint picked Amy up and put her in the booster seat, buckling her in. The farm was quite a drive from the airport but Amy sat quietly through the entire ride even when Clint offered her food about halfway there. She just took it with a smile.

It was a decent sized house, painted pale yellow with no neighbors as far as the eye could see and that was pretty far. Laura was waiting in the kitchen as the trio came in with Amy. The little girl held tight to Clint's hand. He smiled down at her. "Laura, Barn, this is Amy," Clint said, finally introducing her to his brother and sister-in-law.

Laura instantly crouched in front of the little girl. "Hi, Amy, I'm Laura. How are you?" she asked.

Amy stared at the brunette woman for a moment or two trying to figure out if she was in any danger here. Then she remembered that Clint had never put her in danger but it wouldn't hurt to be cautious. "I'm okay," Amy said softly, pressing closer to Clint.

"It's okay, she won't hurt you. I promise," Clint said.

"Okay," Amy said softly.

Laura smiled as the girl looked back at her. "That's my husband Barney, yes like the big purple dinosaur. I'm glad you're here to stay with us for a while. I'm sure you're going to like it here," Laura told her, still being gentle.

"That's what Pop-Pop said too," Amy said.

A dog came up to her sniffing at her feet. "Buddy, sit," Barney snapped. The dog plopped down at her feet and stared at Amy, his tongue hanging out of his mouth. "It's okay, you can pet him, he won't bite," Barney told her.

Laura draped her arm over the dog's shoulders and smiled gently. Amy looked up at Clint who nodded. Slowly, Amy let go of Clint's hand, as her other arm was wrapped tightly around Bucky Bear, and then she reached out and put her hand on top of the dog's head. Buddy tipped his head up and sniffed her arm. Then he licked her wrist. Amy giggled. She patted the top of the dog's head. She pulled her hand away and retook Clint's hand. She squeezed his hand softly.

Clint looked down confused. She motioned him closer then whispered to him. Clint nodded when she finished. "Bathroom is down the hall that way. Melissa will take you." Amy whimpered but nodded and looked to Melissa who led her down the hall. When they were out of sight, Laura stood back up.

"I'm pretty sure the last time I met her, her name was Melinda. Melinda May if I'm not mistaken," Barney said speaking of the female agent. Though he didn't work for SHIELD he consulted with them from time to time and met their agents.

"She's undercover. Her and Coulson wanted it that way. Did you get the list I sent?"

"Yes, and we got everything on it," Barney assured him. "We even talked to the doctor in town, told him she is a foster kid who is staying with us. Clint, we've got this."

"I just don't want to mess this up."

"Is it just me or do you feel like you've seen her somewhere before?" Barney asked. He glanced at his wife who nodded.

"It's probably just you," Clint answered.

"No, she does look familiar. What did you say her name was again?" Laura asked.

"Amy, Amy Portland," Clint reluctantly told them.

"Wait, isn't she that missing kid from Boston? That had to have been five years ago," Laura said.

"It was," Clint said.

"She's the granddaughter of that Howling Commando. What's his name?" Barney asked.

"Dum-Dum Dugan," Clint said.

"Weren't you dating a girl named Dugan about ten years ago or something?"

"11 and her name was Beth."

"11?" Barney stared at his brother. "Wait is she ..." he trailed off.

Laura seemed to have the same idea. "Is Amy yours?" Laura asked.

Clint gulped. "That's not important. What's important is you keeping her safe here while the news and the Department of Justice put Bucky Barnes on trial for something that isn't his fault. And you keep her from seeing any of it. Her captors were worse to her than our dad was to us. I need you to do this right, Barn. Please," Clint nearly begged his brother.

Seeing the pleading, slightly grief stricken, look on his brother's face broke Barney. "Okay," he reluctantly agreed.

Then Amy and Melissa came back. Amy went straight back to Clint's side taking his hand. "Why don't I give you a tour?" Laura asked. Amy and Clint followed her around the house as she pointed out different rooms and what they were used for and then they reached the upstairs bedroom where she would be sleeping. "This is where you'll be sleeping. Barney and I will be right down the hall if you need anything. Anything at all. I mean it, Amy. We're here for anything," Laura insisted.

"Okay," Amy softly agreed.

Clint left that night and Amy was still nervous but Barney and Laura did their best to keep her calm and happy. For the most part it worked.

Clint dropped in a couple times over the next few weeks and was surprised to see Amy happy and laughing racing after Buddy across the backyard. One day Clint was helping Barney work on the back steps, they had been pulling up in a few spots, when Buddy rushed up to him and pulled on his shirt. When brushed away, the dog came back again this time gently pulling on Clint's arm. Clint pulled himself to his feet as did Barney and they followed the dog who rushed ahead of them towards the barn. Every couple of steps Buddy would stop and turn to look back at the men almost as if trying to hurry them along. In an effort to rush them, Buddy gave a short bark then rushed to the barn then back to them and back to the barn. Barney and Clint shared a look but followed the dog. They reached the barn just in time to see Buddy slip into the last stall and Clint and Barney followed. They heard a soft voice whispering and shared a look. Clint slipped a knife from his boot as he looked around. Barney's grip tightened on the hammer he hadn't put down. Clint spotted Amy sitting in the corner of the stall and could see she was talking to what looked like a puppy in her lap. Buddy plopped down next to her, watching protectively.

"It's going to be okay. We'll get you all fixed up and warm and you can stay with me. I know Mr. Barney is going to let me keep you. How can anyone say no to that face of yours? It's just too adorable," Amy told him.

"Amy, honey, who's your friend?" Clint asked, flipping the knife around so the blade ran along the inside of his arm and wouldn't scare the girl.

"Mr. Puppy. Buddy and me found him here in the ... the ... uh ... this stuff," Amy said, motioning to the hay around her.

"Hay. And it's Buddy and I," Barney corrected.

"But I found him," Amy said confused.

"I meant ... never mind." Barney shook his head.

"Amy, are you bleeding?" Clint asked, noticing the red stains on her light colored shirt and her jeans.

"No, Mr. Puppy is hurt. His eye and his side, see?" Amy lifted the dog's face and then motioned to the left side of what Clint could now tell was a Labrador Retriever. Clint's eyes instantly traced the dog's left eye which showed signs of injury. Three big scratches marks ran across it. Then his eyes ran down the dog's body and his side was completely scratched up. It almost looked like a big cat or maybe a wolf had attacked the puppy. The dog was also smaller than he expected, maybe six or seven months old.

"Do you know what happened to him?"

"Uh-uh." Amy shook her head. "Just found him in the hay this morning. He's real hungry too. Keeps nibbling on my fingers. It tickles," Amy answered as she continued to pet the puppy being careful of his wounds. "Can we keep him, please?"

Both brothers were hit with three sets, well, two and a half sets, of puppy dog eyes and Clint instantly melted. "Amy," Clint started.

"Let's take him to the vet and see what he says. Clint, get them in the truck; I'll tell Laura." Clint nodded and tucked his knife away then picked the puppy up so Amy could stand.

The vet inspected the dog on his exam table as Amy stood next to it and was of the opinion to put him down saying that the surgery to remove the eye, since it would never heal, would be expensive, and he could have all kinds of infections, possibly even rabies, but Barney took one look at the sad little girl and puppy staring up at him and couldn't do it. "Come on, Barn, look at those little faces," Clint said. Both Amy and the puppy looked up at him and pouted.

"Please, Mr. Barney. You can't just throw him away 'cause he's a little hurt. You wouldn't throw me away if I got hurt, would you? Please, don't do it to the puppy. I know he looks bad now but he can be a good puppy. He didn't ask to be hurt and thrown away. We gotta fix him."

"Alright, alright, kid. The dog stays," Barney said. "Sorry, Doc, how soon can you do the surgery?"

"Uh ... alright. Tomorrow. I have to fly in a specialist. I've never done that kind of surgery before. Like I said it's going to be expensive though. Talk to the receptionist and she'll get you a price. If he pulls through he's going to be very lucky, especially if he has no diseases. Why don't you leave him here overnight and we'll run a full check up on him, do some tests, see what we've got, and what kind of infection he may have gotten from the attack. I'll let you know when you can pick him up," the doctor suggested.

Clint crouched in front of the girl and realized she had grown a few inches since he had done it the first time. "I know you don't want to leave him here but we have to. Just to get him all cleaned up and fixed. He'll be home soon," Clint told her. Amy turned to look at him, her eyes still sad.

"Like after you found me and I couldn't go straight home?" Amy asked. The vet raised an eyebrow but was ignored.

"Exactly. He'll have the doctor and his staff looking after him until he can come home," Clint said. He smiled a bit hoping she'd perk up.

"Speaking of fixed, you should probably do that too," Barney said. He motioned between the dog's hind legs and the doctor took note.

When they picked the dog up from the vet, he ran through a list of things for Barney to keep an eye out for and Amy was slightly confused by the cone he had to wear. "It's just until the wounds on his side heal. We don't want him licking them or him scratching at the incision where his eye used to be. It may take him some time to get used to seeing out of only one eye so he may hit things on his left side but he'll figure it out, they always do," the vet explained to both Amy and Barney. "You know that is one lucky dog. No infections, no diseases, and a decent amount of weight for not being well taken care of. I have never seen a dog that's been out of a home for weeks and attacked without some form of disease or the start of rabies. One lucky dog. If I didn't know any better I'd say he'd just gotten out of his yard and was attacked but I can tell he hasn't eaten much in probably a few weeks."

"Mr. Barney, can we call him Lucky?" Amy asked.

"Absolutely," Barney answered smiling.

After they took him home there had been a slight adjustment when it came to learning how to not run into things on his left side when he was missing half his vision but Lucky picked up fast and pretty soon he could run just as fast as Buddy did without running into things. Soon enough though, the girl and the dog were inseparable. Wherever one went the other was sure to be just a few steps away. That's why Barney found it odd to wake up in the middle of the night a few weeks later to find Lucky standing on his hind legs at his bedside, his front legs on the bed, whining and licking his face. The cone had come off two days prior once he had been deemed completely healed by the vet.

"Ugh, enough dog. What is wrong?" Barney asked, pushing the dog down. Lucky whined again, getting Barney's attention and looked at the door then back. Barney pulled himself out of bed on a hunch and followed the dog. He was used to Buddy crying for his attention to go out and figured Lucky wanted that too. They were still housebreaking the dog so it was about time for him to go out anyway. He was surprised when the dog stopped short of the steps and turned to go into Amy's room. Barney shook his head but followed.

The nightlight glowed from the outlet under the window providing Barney just enough light to see the bed was empty but there was a dark stain in the center. The smell of urine hit him full force meaning the pee was fresh but he wasn't sure if it was dog or human. Barney moved further into the room slowly and heard Lucky's whining coming from the dark corner furthest from the door. He let his eyes adjust to the dim light and could make out the sight of Lucky laying on the hardwood floor whining and Amy sat curled up tight in the corner, her back pressed to the wall, knees pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them, and her face buried in her knees. Lucky nudged her foot but she pushed him away with a soft "stop" and he whimpered again. Barney finally understood it was Amy that peed the bed and not Lucky. He knelt down next to Lucky in front of the girl and heard her muttering to herself.

"Bad girls pee the bed, you're a bad girl, yes, you are. Now Mr. Barney and Mrs. Laura are going to throw you out because no one likes bad girls that pee the bed. In so much trouble. You know what comes next. I didn't mean to but know what's next."

"Amy," Barney said gently. She instantly froze and peeked out from behind her knees. He saw the exact same look in her eyes that he had seen in Clint's eyes when they were kids and realized their dad was home and angry: fear. Unadulterated fear at what was about to happen. His protective instincts kicked in. He made himself as small as possible, as unthreatening as possible, and didn't reach for her. "You're not in trouble. I am not mad. I could never be mad at you." Barney kept his voice soft and gentle to keep from scaring her any further as well. "Will you let me help you get cleaned up?"

"And then punishment?"

"No punishment, I promise."

"But I bad?" She pulled her head up further.

"You are not bad. You had an accident and we can't control accidents."

"Yes, I can."

"Did you mean to pee the bed?" Barney asked. Amy shook her head. "Did you get scared and it just happened?"

"Getting undies wet doesn't just happen. It happens when you're bad and then bad things have to happen."

It was then Barney realized exactly what Clint had meant when he said her captors were worse to her than their dad had been to them. Blaming her for being unable to control an accident like peeing the bed, was horrible. Their dad may have been a complete jerk but he knew where to draw the line. "No honey, sometimes it does just happen. You get scared and you can't control it so it happens. It's an accident. Now we get cleaned up and clean the bed, then we go back to sleep."

"But they said ..."

"The bad guys are really mean. They want you to behave all the time and get mad when something happens that isn't your fault because they want to be in control of everything. You can't though. You can't control everything and trying to just makes things worse. Accidents happen, it's part of life and we just clean up when they do."

"You're really not mad?"

"I'm really not mad. Now, will you let me help you clean up?" Barney asked, holding his hand out halfway between them and letting her reach for him. She slowly unfolded herself and took his hand. Flashes of memories flew through his mind at rapid speed and he wasn't sure why he was thinking about them. He felt her squeeze his hand.

"You're really not mad," Amy said again. Except this time it was a statement said in wonder instead of fearfully asked. He began to wonder if she was the one to cause him to relive those memories but then dismissed it as an impossibility. He stood up and Lucky pushed himself into a full sit. "I ok, Lucky. Thank you," Amy said, patting him on the head twice. Lucky gave a short yip and gave Amy a puppy grin. Amy followed Barney to the bathroom where he ran her a bath and called for Laura as the water filled. He stripped Amy down and set her on the toilet, telling her to go. As he turned his back to her, Laura appeared outside of the bathroom. Barney stepped over to her to tell her what happened and she nodded going to change the sheets. Barney got Amy clean, dry, and into new pajamas then led her back to her room where they met Lucky. Barney put Amy down on the bed and tucked her in.

"How about I tell you a story?"

"Ok, but first where's Bucky Bear?" Amy asked. "Bucky Bear?" she called looking around the bed for him. "Bucky Bear?" She lifted the covers then looked around the bed before looking over the edge. "Bucky Bear, where'd you go?" Amy called.

"Bucky Bear was wet, I put him in the washer so he could get clean," Laura said, coming in.

"Lucky?" Barney asked.

"Just put him out, he should be good." Laura answered.

Barney tapped the bed and Lucky hopped up curling up next to Amy. "How about a story now?"

"Okay," Amy wrapped her arms around Lucky and settled down as he told her one of the times he performed in a circus. She was asleep halfway through the story.

"What do you think?" Laura whispered as Barney walked over to her.

"Nightmare most likely. She's been through a lot," Barney said, wrapping his arms around his wife.

"My heart breaks for her. There has to be something more we can do for her."

"There isn't. The sooner this trial is over for Bucky, the sooner Amy will get better."

"You think Amy's happiness is related to Bucky's?"

"I don't know. Clint says they seem to have connected and not a week goes by that she doesn't ask to talk to him so I think there is some sort of relationship."

"That's a problem for the morning though so let's go to bed." Laura kissed her husband and dragged him to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was doing some research for this chapter on Laura Barton, I know we don't get much on her, but I found out the actress that played her, also played Velma in two of the live action Scooby Doo movies. 
> 
> I know that some of you like that Clint had this whole other life with his wife and two kids but I am of the camp that his other life, as well as the whole Banner/Nat thing came out of left field and didn't seem to really fit with the rest of the movie.


	9. A New Visitor

* * *

The next morning, Amy woke up to Bucky Bear on the nightstand watching her. "Bucky Bear," Amy said softly as she reached over and gathered him in her arms. After breakfast, Amy found Barney working on expanding the dining room. She stood in the kitchen, Bucky Bear tucked under her right arm, Lucky on her left side, both keeping clear of where he was working. He looked up and put the hammer down.

"Yes, Ms. Amy?" Barney asked.

"Can I talk to Bucky?" Amy asked.

Barney swallowed as his shoulders slumped. He moved to her and knelt in front of her. "Tell you what, I'm going to talk to Clint and he's going to try to pull some strings and I'll try to get you a phone call but I can't promise anything. The trial requires a lot of attention and we want to make sure it goes well."

"I just miss him lots and want to go home."

"I know you do. That's why I'm going to try to get that phone call. How about I teach you a little bit of gymnastics. Clint's better than I am but I can teach you."

"I don't know what that is, but okay." Amy nodded. Barney smiled and got up, taking her outside to teach her.

A few days later as Laura was doing her hair, Amy watched in the mirror. When Laura finished tying off the bottom of Amy's braided pigtails, Amy leaned closer to the mirror as she stared at the part in her hair.

"Amy, sweetie, what's wrong?" Laura asked.

"It's back," Amy cried.

"What's back, sweetie?" Laura pushed.

"The red, make it go away like Gammie does," Amy answered.

"The red what?" Laura tried to tip Amy's head back to find what she was talking about but Amy held firm.

"The red there." Amy poked her part.

Laura looked closer and saw the girl's hair at the part was more of a ginger color than the surrounding blonde. "I see." Laura swallowed. "What's wrong with the red, it's very pretty?"

"I know but it makes me sad. Can you make it go away?" Amy asked, looking back at Laura.

"Yes," Laura sighed. "Tonight, after your bath. We have to get the stuff first." Amy nodded.

Barney came in and handed her a satellite phone. "Somebody wants to say hello," Barney said.

"Hello?" Amy asked, pressing the phone to her ear.

"Hello, Kobik," the voice came from the other end.

"Bucky!" she nearly shouted. "I miss you so much."

"I know, I miss you too."

"How's it going?"

"I don't want to talk about it. How are you doing?"

"Ok, but I miss you."

"I know. You're my brave little soldier, aren't you?"

"Brave as I can be." Amy went on to tell him about everything she had been doing and everything she had learned plus all about Lucky. Barney watched her and kept a close eye on the clock, knowing they only had 10 minutes before they had to end the call.

Bucky listened to Amy go on and on about everything she had done, learned, or found at the farm and his heart began to warm. Everything he was going through with the trial seemed worth it now that he was hearing the excitement in her voice. He continued to listen as Dugan sat across from him and instantly felt bad. He motioned from the man to the phone and back. Who was he to keep this man from talking to his granddaughter when he had already missed so much of her life? Dugan shook his head. As much as he missed his granddaughter, he knew Bucky needed this more on the slight chance this didn't end well for him.

"What do you think, Buck?"

"I think—"

"You weren't listening," she whined. Amy's voice fell and Bucky's heart went with it. He searched his mind for the last threads of her voice.

"I think that sounds like fun. Have you thanked Mr. Barney for teaching you tumbling?" Bucky asked.

"Yes," she huffed. He smirked as he detected her irritation, like she wasn't minding her manners.

"Just checking."

"Bucky, when can I see you in person?"

"After the trial. I know that it feels like forever but I'll be back soon enough."

"It will still feel like forever."

"I know, Doll."

\-----

"She's getting real good at that," Clint said, leaning against the back porch post as he and Barney watched Amy tumble around the backyard nearly a month later.

"Like father, like daughter," Barney answered. Clint stared at his brother. "I was suspicious when every time she smiles at Lucky I see Mom's smile, but then she peed the bed one night. The utter fear I saw in her eyes; there was no masking that look. The number of times I saw the same look on your face ..." Barney shook his head.

"She doesn't know. Only a select few do. Don't tell her."

"How did you find out?"

"SHIELD. They DNA tested her. Director Carter told me."

"Her grandparents?"

"They know but I don't know how they feel about it. It doesn't really matter since I'm never around anyway."

"But you could be."

"SHIELD is not conducive to family life, you know that."

"I know. How much longer is this going to take? I don't mind having her here, Laura loves having a little girl, but the longer she's here, the more depressed she gets. Lucky's been a big help, but she really wants to go home, especially if she can go home to Bucky."

"I never thought a trial could take more than a month but it's dragging into the third month and the defense hasn't even started their case."

"And the only way to speed it up is if he pleads to a crime he didn't commit."

"Who didn't commit a crime?" Amy asked from the bottom of the stairs.

"Nothing to worry about it," Clint answered with a smile.

"Okay." Amy shrugged.

"Are you hungry?" Barney asked. Amy nodded. "Anything particular you'd like?"

"Sauce and dogs?" Amy asked.

"Sauce and dogs?" Barney stared in disbelief.

"Applesauce and hot dogs," Clint clarified.

"Ok, let's see what we can do," Barney said.

Nearly a month after that, Barney and Laura got another visitor. They didn't expect anyone and it had both dogs on alert. Laura could see the car coming up the drive and called for her husband. He was working on the dining room so he didn't hear her at first but when he did he rushed to her side. Seeing the car as well he called for Amy.

"Yes?" Amy asked, coming to his side from the living room.

"Go upstairs to the bathroom and shut and lock the door. Do not come out until I tell you it's all clear. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir. Lucky?" Amy asked.

"Go," Barney commanded. Amy and Lucky raced up the stairs and into the bathroom, with her locking herself in the bathroom. She climbed into the bathtub and cuddled with Bucky Bear and Lucky. Three Irish Lullabies later Barney knocked on the door. "Amy, it's all clear. You can open the door now."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's a friend." Amy climbed out of the tub and opened the door. Barney was standing there with Buddy at his side.

Amy took his hand and he led her back downstairs, Buddy racing ahead but Lucky staying right by her side. In the living room, Barney led her over to their visitor. "Hi there," the lady said.

"Hello," Amy said softly.

"Amy, this is Nat. She's a friend of—Clint's." Barney said, catching himself before he revealed Clint was the young girl's father. "Nat, this is Amy. If you've spoken to Clint, I'm sure he's told you about her?"

"Yes," Nat said.

"I like your hair. It was like mine before it made me sad," Amy said, looking at Nat's red hair.

"I like your hair too. It's real pretty." Nat reached out and twirled Amy's hair around her finger.

"Have I see-d you before?" Amy asked.

"I don't think so," Nat answered. Amy reached out and touched Nat's hand. She watched the woman carefully. Laura was the first to catch on that something was going on. Everyone was clued in when Amy jumped back sharply.

"Amelia Grace, come here," Laura told her. Amy sulked but went to Laura. "What did Clint tell you about that?"

"Not to. But she knows Bucky. She doesn't call him Bucky, but she knows him. She calls him Soldat too," Amy said.

"It doesn't matter; you're not supposed to do it. You remember how it felt when the doctors ran all those tests? You don't want to have to undergo any more, do you?" Laura asked.

"No." Amy pouted.

"Then what did Clint say?"

"The less people who know, the better. I sorry, Mrs. Laura," Amy apologized. 

"And?" Laura asked.

Amy frowned and went back to Nat. "I'm sorry, Ms. Nat. I didn't mean to see your private thoughts. I won't do it again."

"Thank you. You're right, I do know Bucky but like you I was taught to call him Soldat. It's Russian for Soldier. He taught me to protect myself and to not get taken advantage of when I was about your age."

"Do you think Bucky is going to be okay?" Amy asked.

"He has been through a lot, but he's the strongest man I've met. He'll be just fine."

"And he can come home?"

"He's going to be home sooner than you think. I promise."

"Don't do that," Amy snapped. "Don't make a promise you can't keep. Mama promised I'd always be safe, Daddy promised to come back, they promised they'd never hurt me. I don't believe you."

"Kotenok, there isn't a person alive who can look at everything Barnes has been through and rule against him. He's going to come home."

Amy frowned. "Hey Amy, why don't you show Nat your tumbling?" Barney suggested.

"Okay. Would you like to see it?" Amy asked. Nat smiled and followed the girl out back.

"Barney," Laura started.

"I know. I don't want to tell Clint either, but SHIELD decided she needs a case-worker for her abilities. Clint immediately volunteered. He's not going to be too mad, he's just going to sit her down and remind her that using those abilities is going to lead to the wrong people finding out and it could end up hurting her. I don't want that for her," Barney said.

"None of us do but you owe it to your brother. You know, it's one thing to realize she's his kid, but then it eventually hits you, she's your niece too. You have a niece, Barney," Laura said softly.

"And I have to protect her, better than I protected Clint," Barney answered.

"You're doing a great job. I am so proud of you." Laura leaned over and kissed Barney softly.

"Ewww, do all grown-ups do that?" Amy whined from the doorway. Both of them looked up.

"Not all grown-ups but sometimes it's nice to remember that is a sign they love each other," Nat said.

"Is everything alright?" Laura asked, seeing the young girl perched on Nat's hip.

"She tripped over Lucky and scraped her hands. I just want to make sure she's not hurt."

"I told you I'm okay," Amy protested.

"I know you did, but you should let Laura check just in case," Nat argued.

"Okay." Amy frowned.

"Show me your hands," Laura said, crossing the room to the young girl. Amy offered both her hands to Laura. Laura looked them over and saw a few scratch marks but nothing too serious. "You're right, not too bad. We should still get you washed up. You have a workbook you should be doing." Laura held her arms out and Amy reluctantly leaned towards her so Laura could take her from Nat.

"It's too hard!" Amy whined.

"Is it really too hard or do you just not want to do it?" Laura asked.

"It's too hard," Amy repeated. Laura stared her down but Amy held her pout so Laura relented as she took the girl into the kitchen.

After cleaning Amy's hands of dirt, Laura sat her down at the kitchen table and helped her, making sure Amy kept both hands on the table and away from Laura's own.

\----

"What's this say, Mr. Barney?" Amy asked one night after her bath a few weeks later.

"What's what say?" Barney asked confused.

"Here," Amy answered, pointing at her chest right about where her sternum sat. Barney looked closer but still didn't see anything.

"Wait right here, don't move." Barney bolted down to Amy's art supplies in the kitchen and came back with a washable marker. "I want you to trace it, on the mirror." He held up his left hand about two feet from the mirror and traced around it, showing her what he wanted her to do. Once she understood, he wiped off the mirror and handed her the marker before setting her up on the vanity. She scooted closer to the mirror and shakily drew the 15 letters and one punctuation mark. Once she was done, she recapped the marker and Barney put her back on the floor and put a nightshirt on her. Then he pulled the hand mirror out of the drawer and held it up so he could read it. When he did, he sat down on the floor and pulled her into his lap. "Have you ever heard of a soulmark?" Barney asked.

"Uh-uh." She shook her head.

"A soulmark is composed of the first words that your soulmate says to you. In my case it was "Oh, thank you." and hers is "Sure, that guy was a jerk.". A guy was in a hurry and shoved past my soulmate knocking her to the ground so I offered her a hand up. We went out a few times and eventually, I married her."

"Mrs. Laura?" Amy blinked up at him.

Barney smiled. "Yeah. She's the best thing that ever happened to me."

"You love her lots?"

"Lots and lots."

"Okay. What's a soulmate 'xactly?"

"A soulmate is a person that fate says is perfect for you. Someone who makes you want to be the best person you could be. A person who is always going to support you and be there for you no matter what. Someone, if you're lucky, you never have to live without."

"How do you know it's the right person?"

"You just know. When they say those words, you feel it and you know."

"But how?" Amy nearly begged.

"It's different for everyone. I felt really warm and really safe with her. Like I've never felt before. For Laura, she said it felt right. Like we just clicked," Barney told her. "Do you understand?"

"No," Amy said.

"Some people say soulmates are like ... one soul inhabiting two bodies. I can understand where they're coming from. You get along with your soulmate and they know you on a deeper level than most people. Now Laura, she believes soulmates are more like socks."

"Socks?" Amy asked, wiggling her toes.

"Yeah, those kind of socks. You know how you have a pink pair of socks and purple pair of socks and a pair of socks with kittens on it and one with puppies and one that are just white?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, if you paired a pink sock with a purple sock or one of the ones with kittens on it with one of the puppy socks it'd work, but it works a whole lot better if the socks match, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. Gammie never lets me mix my socks but maybe the pink sock could go with the purple sock or maybe the kitty and puppy could go together and not look bad."

"Yeah, but you know how much better it locks when your socks match right?"

"Yeah."

"It's kinda like soulmates. Any person can fall for or date anyone else but when you meet your soulmate, you just match well. A lot better than you would with anyone else."

"Okay. Do you only ever have one soulmate?"

Barney swallowed. This was the last thing he wanted to talk about. Having more than one soulmate was rare and no one liked talking about it. "I don't. Laura's it for me but there have been people who have had more than one soulmate."

"But you only have two feet so how can they be like socks?"

"Well, I guess in that case they're less like socks and more like ... well, like a three-piece suit."

"What's a three-piece suit?"

"It's like a regular suit only instead of just a jacket and pants there's also a vest that goes with it. You can have any combination of the three pieces and it works but when all three are together it works really well."

"Oh. And they're meant to be together at the same time?"

"Having more than one soulmate is really rare like snow white tigers. They exist but not much is known about them."

"So you don't know?"

"I don't, but I can find out."

"No, it's okay. It's not like I have more than one soulmate."

"Okay," Barney answered. "Let's go get Laura to brush your hair out."

"You didn't answer my question though."

"What question?"

"What's it say?"

"It says _'Steve Rogers, Miss,'_ " Barney said.

"Like he's introducing himself? But that's not possible, Steve Rogers is dead. He crashed a plane into the ocean and not even Howard Stark could find him."

"It's possible they just have the same name and the man you're going to meet is just named after Captain America."

"People do that?"

"Yeah, people do that even unintentionally. Like in England there are two men named Roger Taylor. Funny thing?" Barney said. Amy nodded to show she was interested. "They're both drummers for widely known bands, they're both from England, and they share the same name though they have different middle names. One is a drummer for the band Queen, the other for Duran Duran. You know it's also possible that one day you're going to be tutoring a couple people and an answer to the question is Steve Rogers."

"Oh, okay. But isn't 'Miss' typically something a younger person uses to address an older woman if they don't know whether or not they're married?"

"Sometimes, other times it's a sign of respect. Come on, _little miss_ , Laura's waiting for us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you know, Kotenok is Russian for Kitten.


	10. The Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because it's my birthday.

* * *

Before anyone knew it, Bucky had been on trial for almost five months and his lawyer was getting desperate. The prosecution had a really good case, one that, if he didn't find a way to make the jury understand Bucky wasn't in his right mind, would get him life in prison, and the doctors and scientists and Natasha hadn't been able to sway the jury. Finally, he had only two options left to get the jury and the news media back on their side.

As the court waited for him to call his next witness, Franks turned to his client. "If you don't do this, Sergeant Barnes, I'm going to have to put that little girl in the stand. You've seen the jury, you can tell they aren't on our side and yes, it's going to get very bad and some bad things will come up if I put you up there to testify, but if I don't you're going to prison. It's not going to be good. For her, can't you do this?" Franks asked his client.

"For her," Bucky answered.

"Alright then. Watch the jury when you're up there. I know they trained you to judge people, you can tell if you're changing minds." Bucky nodded and took the stand in his own defense. Both Franks and the prosecution questioned Bucky for two days and at the end, though they both could see some of the media was swayed, the jury hadn't been. "I have no choice. Natasha may have testified about the harsh conditions Hydra put both of you through, but Amy can—"

"No," Bucky protested. "You said she'd be safe. That she wouldn't have to."

"Look at their faces, Sarge. They're ready to lock you up for good. What kind of justice does that serve?"

"Mr. Franks," the judge called.

"One moment, your honor," Franks answered. "Tell me right now if this is what she'd want for you and I will let it go." Bucky swallowed and knew Amy would want to help. He surveilled the jury then nodded. "Thank you. Your honor, the defense would like to request a continuance. We need time to get our final witness here."

"The state is ready to go to closing arguments. Any continuance would put undue hardship on our jury who we've already inconvenienced for long enough," the prosecution protested.

"We're asking for 24 hours. Our witness is out of state and we need the time."

"Approach the bench, both of you," the judge said. Bucky sat back and watched as his lawyer spoke to the prosecutor and the judge and eventually returned to his side. "Continuance is granted. We will reconvene at 1 pm tomorrow." The gavel fell and the court officers took him back to a conference room so he could change back to his prison uniform. As he was changing behind a screen, his lawyer and Dugan both entered the room.

"I know you're not sure about this, Sarge, but I know it will help," Mr. Franks said.

"Yeah? You explain that to her grandfather?" Bucky asked.

"Explain what? Who is this last witness?" Dugan asked.

"You any good at reading people, Colonel?" Franks asked, turning to the older man.

"A little, why?"

"You read that jury? They're all for convicting Sergeant Barnes. Well, most of them. I think we've had two jurors on our side since Ms. Romanoff testified about the Red Room and her experience there, but it's all or none. Either they all convict or they all dismiss. Anything in between they will declare a hung jury and the process starts all over again. That means more time away from your granddaughter," Franks said.

"You want her to testify. You want my baby girl to get up there in front of a room full of strangers and relive her ordeal?" Dugan asked, in disbelief.

"I don't want her to, but I know that she can tell us about the pain he went through. Even if they didn't know each other long before she was rescued, she still witnessed him being tortured and that will help," Franks said.

"Him being tortured? She saw that? How?" Dugan asked.

"After I failed to hurt her enough they punished me, she was in the doorway when they did and saw it. She wasn't supposed to but I don't think they knew she was there," Bucky said, coming out from behind the screen. The yellow jumpsuit did nothing for him.

"Told me so the only time I've ever met your granddaughter. She wanted to know if she could tell the jury that they hurt him," Franks said. "I didn't understand what she meant until he explained and I saw the video but I knew she had to have seen something."

"You really think it'll work?"

"I don't see what other choice we have. I have a passionate closing argument but I don't think it's going to be enough to sway them."

"Okay. I'll let Clint know," Dugan said. He called Clint and by 6 p.m. that night Amy was ushered into a hotel room in D.C. Amy entered the room and looked around. Her eyes lit up when she saw Dugan sitting on the couch.

"Pop-Pop!" Amy cried. She let go of Clint's hand and rushed across the room. Dugan knelt on the floor and opened his arms catching her and hugging her tight.

"Hey there, honey," he said.

She reveled in the hug mostly because although Barney and Laura had hugged her, it didn't feel quite as nice as her grandpa's hugs. She pulled back and looked around. "Where's Bucky?" she asked.

"Bucky is staying under the watch of a friend," Dugan said. Though Bucky was being held in a federal penitentiary in solitary confinement, SHIELD had gotten into the system to keep an eye on him both because they didn't trust that Hydra wouldn't find a way to get him back and because solitary has a way of torturing even the strongest of men.

"I get to come home?"

"Not yet, there's something we need you to do first. You remember Christopher Franks, right?"

Amy glanced at the lawyer then back at her grandfather. "Yes."

"It turns out we could really use your help talking to the jury," Franks said.

"Okay." So Christopher explained how everything would happen the following day and how things would be set up. Then he walked her through the questions he would ask her and what the prosecution might ask her. He also reminded her of proper court procedures and what certain words meant.

First thing the following morning, Clint led her into the courthouse through the side door to keep her away from the media circus and sat her down outside the judge's chambers. She quietly played with Bucky Bear as she waited but too soon the door opened and Christopher motioned for her to come in. Clint took the bear from her as she swallowed and reluctantly entered the room.

"Hello there, can you tell me your name?" the man behind the big desk said.

Amy swallowed. Though both Franks and her grandfather had told her there was nothing to worry about or be scared of, it was a bit nerve wracking to see these three men watching her. "Amelia Portland," Amy answered. She tried not to fidget as she stood in the middle of the room.

"Do you prefer Amelia or Amy?"

"Amy, but Amelia is okay too."

"Okay, Amy, why don't you have a seat?" he suggested. Amy sat down in the chair by the desk and watched him. "My name is Judge Oscar and I'm in charge of Sergeant Barnes's case. You know the defense attorney Mr. Franks and that is the Prosecutor Mr. Anthony. We have a couple questions before we can let you talk to the jury."

Amy looked at both attorneys as they sat in front of the desk. "Okay." She nodded to the judge.

"Do you know what a lie is?" the judge asked.

"It's when you make something up. I—I'm not supposed to lie, it's wrong."

"Why is it wrong?"

"Because it's not nice and Pop-Pop says it's wrong. You get in trouble for lying. It's like saying Mr. Anthony's shirt is purple when it's not. That's a lie."

"And what do you like to do for fun?"

"Reading and watching movies and tumbling. Mr. Barney says I'm getting real good at it."

The judge went on to ask her several more questions trying to get her to lie or backtrack on something she said earlier. It was the worst part of his job, but he had to make sure Mr. Franks hadn't coached the girl too much. Then he asked her a couple of questions to see if she could recall events that had happened and she did well on those too. Finally the judge nodded.

"Okay, Amy, why don't you go back outside to your friend and we'll let you know what's going to happen soon," Mr. Franks told her. Amy nodded and went back to Clint. She immediately hugged Bucky Bear as she tried to calm down.

"Hey, you alright?" Clint asked.

"The judge asked me a lot of questions. I didn't like it."

"I know, but you want to tell the jury that Hydra hurt Bucky and talking to the judge is the first step."

"I know. It was just a lot of questions." Clint extended his arms to her and she crawled into his lap still hugging her bear. Clint rocked her back and forth to help her calm down.

It was a while later before a man in a uniform walked up to them. "Amelia Portland?" he asked. Clint nodded. "It's time."

Clint walked with her and the officer to the side door of the courtroom then knelt in front of her. "Now remember, just tell the truth and if you're worried about the question, look at Mr. Franks. If you don't understand, make sure you ask him to clarify. I have to hold on to Bucky Bear but I will be right here when you come out," Clint explained. Amy nodded and reluctantly handed over her bear.

The bailiff swore her in then she sat down on the witness stand and looked over the jury. They were all watching her with interest. She then turned her attention to the rest of the courtroom and noticed there were only the attorneys, Bucky, the bailiff, a lady at a typing machine, the jury, and the judge. What she didn't know was that the judge had cleared the courtroom and ordered a gag order on her testimony so that no one could speak of it outside the courtroom except in the jury room while they deliberated.

"Thank you for coming today, Amy," Mr. Franks said, standing behind the podium just in front of the counsel desks.

"You're welcome," she answered. He had told her to give short answers and not to explain anything unless asked.

"I know that this is going to be difficult for you but I want to thank you in advance for testifying. Now, do you remember what happened on March 30, 1996?"

"I was taken from my mom's house."

"Do you know who took you?"

"Hydra."

"And do know where they took you?"

"To Kansas."

"And you were held there for quite a few years, correct?"

"Yes."

"Now, one night shortly before you were rescued you saw something happen. Can you tell us about it?"

"The bad guys, they were mad at Bucky so they hit him a lot and they poked him with a big zapper stick."

"Do recognize this?" Mr. Franks pointed to a projection screen that showed a cattle prod.

"That looks like the zapper stick they used on him."

"A cattle prod. Did they say why they were mad at him?"

"Objection your honor, hearsay," Mr. Anthony said standing.

Hearing the word she had been warned about, 'Objection', Amy didn't answer the question. "She witnessed the person say it during the event and it doesn't apply because the person who said it isn't on trial."

"I'll allow it."

Mr. Franks nodded to Amy. "The Hydra ... Agents were mad because Bucky—" Amy swallowed. The court waited for her answer. Amy looked at Bucky who nodded. "They said he was being punished for not hurting me," Amy said as a tear rolled down her face. She wiped it away as she glanced at the jury.

"Is this the only time you saw them hurt Sergeant Barnes?"

"No."

"When else did they hurt him?"

"When we were leaving the building a few days later; they tried to hit and shoot him."

"Did they ever threaten him, to your knowledge?"

"Yes."

"Go on."

"The first time I met him they told him over the intercom that if he didn't follow orders he'd be hurt like last time."

"How did you come to witness them hurting him?"

"I was supposed to be in my room but I heard screaming and yelling so I followed the voices. The man in charge told Bucky that he didn't follow orders and he needed a lesson to remember how to do what he was told. He said that Bucky was told to follow orders and push the little girl and if he couldn't do that he didn't deserve to be treated like a human. He was a bad asset and a bad soldier and he'd learn. Then the man in charge ordered the other men to punish Bucky."

"At this time the defense would like to replay defense exhibit 106."

"Objection, it's prejudicial and only serves to inflame the jury."

"It gives corroboration to her testimony and they've already seen it, your honor."

"Overruled." The bailiff pushed a TV into the middle of the floor and handed the remote to Mr. Franks.

"Amy, I know that you don't want to watch this but I'm going to ask you to okay?" Amy nodded. Mr. Franks pushed play on the remote and the video played showing exactly what Amy said it did. "Where were you standing when you saw this?" Mr. Franks asked Amy.

"Can you make it go back to where the man was standing on Bucky's arm?" Amy asked. Mr. Franks curiously rewound the tape. "Do you see in the bottom left corner where you see the fingers on the door? That's me. Nobody noticed because they were hurting him," Amy explained. Mr. Franks ran the tape forward a bit more and then stopped it again. This time Amy's head peeked around the doorframe as Bucky let out a particularly loud shout of pain.

"That's you too, correct?"

"Yes sir."

"How long did you watch?"

"Until the big man on the left there ordered the other men to clean him up and prep him."

"Did anything happen after that?"

"The big man left the room and I hid in the corner so he wouldn't see me. I didn't want to be in trouble with him too."

"What would have happened if he had seen you?"

"Objection, calls for speculation."

"Sustained."

"Nothing further at this time," Mr. Franks said.

"Your witness," the judge said.

The prosecutor stepped up to the podium replacing Mr. Franks. He really didn't want to push the girl as, from what he studied, he knew she had been through a traumatic past, but it was his job to get justice. "Ms. Amy," Mr. Anthony said, "thank you for coming. I know this must be very traumatic for you. I just have a few questions for you."

"Okay."

"How do you know that all of these men aren't in on it and it was just made to look like punishment for your sake?"

"Because they didn't know I was there."

"Certainly since we can see you on the tape, someone inside the cell could have seen you too."

"They were focused on him."

"And Sergeant Barnes didn't see you either?"

"No."

"How come?"

"They hurt him. It's not easy to focus when you're in a lot of pain."

"And how do you know that? You said he was being punished for not hurting you so certainly you've never experienced that kind of pain."

Amy looked at Mr. Franks worriedly. He nodded. "They hurt me too."

"Why?"

"Objection, your honor."

"Goes to credibility," Mr. Anthony said.

"Overruled."

Amy opened and closed her mouth several times, fumbling for the right words. Judge Oscar watched her carefully. "Ms. Amy, I know you don't want to talk about what happened and how they hurt you, but I need you to answer. It's okay. No one here is going to judge you for what happened," Judge Oscar said.

Amy nodded and swallowed. Then she tried again. "They wanted him to push me the first time we met and I couldn't stop him from pinning me to the ground. Because of that they hurt me. They didn't hurt me after I saw them hurt Bucky so they couldn't have seen me and Bucky never said that he saw me and he doesn't lie to me."

"Why were you at the alleged Hydra facility?"

Before the question had even finished falling from the prosecutor's lips, Mr. Franks was already on his feet. "Objection!" he bit out.

"Sustained. Mr. Anthony, you were warned not to ask that. Cross the line again and I'll declare an immediate mistrial."

"Yes, sir." Mr. Anthony looked through his notes. "No further questions."

"Redirect your honor?"

"Granted."

"Ms. Amy, why did they try to hurt Sergeant Barnes as the two of you left the facility?"

"Because they didn't want us to go. They wanted us to stay."

"Thank you."

"You may step down now.''

Amy climbed down off the witness stand and the bailiff escorted her out of the courtroom and back to Clint. "Are we leaving now?" She asked, trying not to cry and reaching for the bear. Clint dropped to his knee and gave her the bear then pulled her into his arms. Amy instantly clung to him tightly.

"It's safer that way," Clint answered.

"So I can't see Bucky?"

"I'm sorry."

Clint took her back to the hotel though he stuck to the back roads and she was met by her grandmother. They spent the afternoon together and of course both would be sad when Amy had to leave. Dugan came back later that night and brought pizza for dinner, inviting Clint to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever have those days where you want to be left alone but people keep bothering you for no good reason? That was today for me. I love my family but sometimes I want to be left alone.


	11. He's Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few Russian sentences in this chapter but they aren't all that important. Translations are at the bottom though.

* * *

It took three weeks of deliberation for the jury to come to a decision. Barney saw it on TV the minute it was announced and no matter which channel he turned it to it all said the same thing. "Barney Barton, you turn that off right now," Laura chastised.

"But …" Barney protested hoping his wife would be just as happy as he was.

"Now!" she demanded. Barney sighed but turned the TV off. "Good. Now, Amy's been itching to show you something all day. Clint will call with news when he can."

Barney nodded and went outside. Amy smiled when she saw him. "Lucky, sit," she ordered. "Stay." The dog sat and stayed as she rushed up to Barney. "Hi. Will you watch my tumbling for a minute?" Amy asked.

"Sure, show me what you can do."

Amy went through the routine and when she finished, she went back to him. "What did you think?"

"I think you're getting real good at it. Keep up the good work," Barney said. Amy grinned and bounced on her toes. It warmed Barney's heart to see her so happy. She almost looked excited like a little girl should. He couldn't help but smile.

Laura stepped out onto the back porch. "Hon, phone for you," she said.

"Do I need to go inside?" he asked.

"No." She handed over the extension. Amy watched Barney's face but it gave nothing away as he mostly listened to the other end.

"And you're sure?" Barney asked. He listened for a bit. "When? ... Ok, I will. Thanks for calling. Later." Barney hung up and looked at Amy. "How about we have a bonfire tonight? We'll cook hot dogs and s'mores and enjoy a quiet night under the stars."

"What's a bonfire?" Amy asked.

"It's a really big fire that I build right out there." He motioned to the fire pit 20 feet from the back of the house. "You like hot dogs right?"

"I love hot dogs, but what are s'mores?"

"The best dessert ever. I show you later, right now you can help me gather sticks for the fire," Barney said. Amy looked up at Laura who nodded. Barney helped her gather kindling then he brought some of the bigger logs over to the fire pit. Even Buddy and Lucky helped. After dinner and dessert, with the fire burning low in the pit, Barney and Laura sat on the porch swing with a sleeping Amy between them. Buddy and Lucky dozed on the porch in front of them. Barney wrapped his arms around both girls shifting Amy a bit so she was more leaning against him than the swing. "Top ten best nights, for sure," he whispered.

"So what did Clint say?" Laura asked. She moved Amy into Barney's lap so she could cuddle closer to her husband.

"She gets to go home tomorrow. Stark's lending them the jet again and Clint and Nat will pick her up first thing."

"And Sergeant Barnes?"

"Not guilty, all charges. He'll be there waiting for her."

"The media?"

"SHIELD's kept a pretty close watch on it. They're not allowed within 100 feet of the house."

"I'm really going to miss having her here."

"Me too."

"We could—we could always start trying for one of our own," Laura suggested.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Barney grinned and kissed his wife. He knew consulting for both SHIELD and the FBI could put his family in danger but with Clint's help, he could keep the farm off the radar and they'd be safe. "Ok." He agreed. Cooper Barton was born just under two years later.

When Amy went home the next day, they went in through the garage and avoided all the news media still out front of the house. In the living room, her eyes quickly scanned the room, landing on Bucky. Not caring if there was anyone else, she released Clint's hand and raced to him, scrambling up onto the couch and then threw her arms around him. "Bucky," she nearly whined as she straddled his lap.

"Amy," Bucky answered as he hugged her.

"Nuh-uh. Kobik. I like when you call me Kobik. It takes something that was bad and makes it good."

"Okay. Were you brave for me?"

"Most of the time. I got scared a little bit and had a nightmare but I tried real hard. Did you miss me?" Amy answered.

"I'm proud of you, and of course I missed you. Thanks for holding down the fort." He relished her hug for a moment or two longer then gently pushed her back. "Would you like to say hello to your grandparents?" he asked.

She turned and looked at them. "Hi," she said, then turned back to Bucky. "I am so glad you're home now. You are home to stay, right?"

"Yes. For a while."

"How long is that?" She asked.

"At least a few months."

"That's not very long." She pouted and he sighed.

He tipped her head up. "I know but I can't promise you any longer than that."

"Why not?"

"Because I need to get better and that means eventually going back into the world."

"Oh. Okay."

"That doesn't mean I'm going to cut you off completely. I will always call or write. I can even visit but for now, I need to get back on my feet." He wrapped her in a hug and she snuggled against him. Amy heard words behind her that she didn't understand, but she felt Bucky pull back.

"Razve oni ne skazali, chto lybov' dlya detey?" (Разве они не сказали, что любовь для детей?)

"Bucky?" she asked.

"Oni skazali mnogo veshchey, s kotorymi ya bol'she ne soglasen," Bucky answered also in a language Amy didn't understand and moved her off his lap. He crossed the room and Clint instantly jumped in his way blocking Bucky from getting to Nat. (Они сказали много вещей, с которыми я больше не согласен.)

"Bucky?" Amy called.

"Buck!" Dugan warned.

"Nat?" Clint asked.

"No bloodshed on my carpet. You two want to kill each other, take it outside," Grace told them.

"Nice to see you too, Natalia," Bucky said.

"He won't hurt me, Clint," Nat said. Clint studied the man but reluctantly stepped out of the way. Bucky stared at her for a moment then stepped forward and hugged Nat. Nat hugged him back.

"Bucky?" Amy asked.

"It's fine, kid," Bucky said.

"You two know each other?" Dugan asked. Everyone moved into the living room and sat down. Amy moved to her grandfather and sat down next to him. Dugan wrapped an arm around her.

"We met in the late '70's. He trained me," Nat said.

"When you were my age, right?" Amy asked.

"I was a bit younger than you," Nat answered.

"How come I didn't understand what you said?" Amy asked.

"We were speaking Russian. The only Russian word you understand is soldat," Bucky said.

"Can you teach me?" Amy asked.

"To speak Russian? Yes."

"No, like you taught her."

"No," Bucky answered. "I want you to enjoy your childhood. At least what's left of it. I don't want you thinking about that kind of stuff."

"But she said you taught her to defend herself. I wanna learn that so they don't take me again."

"I'm not going to let anyone take you again."

"What about when you're not here? You say I'm safe but you won't always be here to make sure I am. Why not just teach me how to protect myself? You're just like Mom and Dad. Making promises you won't keep." Amy ran upstairs and threw herself on her bed. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door and it slowly opened.

"Amelia, honey, can I come in?" Grace asked.

"Go 'way," Amy answered.

"Sweetie," Grace said, slipping into the room.

"Go 'way, Gammie. Don't want to talk."

"Can you listen? Please, for me?" Grace sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed Amy's back. Amy rubbed her nose with her sleeve then rolled over a bit. Grace sighed at the action but didn't mention it. "Are you not mad at Bucky Bear?"

"Bucky Bear isn't Bucky. Bucky Bear would never betray me."

"Okay. Sergeant Barnes is just worried about you. He wants to do what's best for you and teaching you to hurt other people isn't what you need right now."

"Pop-Pop wants to teach me. Told me on the phone."

"And I want you to protect yourself too. So does Sergeant Barnes. He's just worried that he's going to go too far. Honey, you know he was an assassin; they not only taught him to kill but made him kill too. He doesn't want you to ever be in a situation where that is your only option. He thinks if he doesn't teach you that then you'll be safe."

"But I don't want running and hiding to be my only option either. Can't he teach me enough to stop someone without having to kill them?"

"Maybe. We talked to a doctor while the trial was ongoing and he said that one of the most important things is that Bucky learns to help himself before he tries to help anyone else. You have to make sure you're okay before you can be a rock for someone else."

"Then what about Mr. Clint or Nat? Maybe even Pop-Pop could teach me."

"Tell you what, we'll make a deal. You get at least halfway through that fourth grade workbook by your next birthday and we'll revisit this conversation then."

"That's forever from now."

"It's three and a half months from now. Do we have a deal?"

"But I want to start now."

"Do you remember what Barney taught you?" Clint asked from the doorway.

"Tumbling."

"That's a good first step for self-defense. That and fitness. It teaches you a lot about stamina and you have to be in good shape. If it's okay with your grandma, I can teach you a fitness routine between now and then that will help even if you don't learn self-defense."

"Peas, Gammie?" Amy asked. Grace raised her eyebrows and Amy tried not to roll her eyes. "Please."

"Okay. And no pushing Bucky. If he wants to teach you, he will but if he doesn't, it's his choice. Remember what your doctor said about choice?"

"That choices are important and we have to respect those that others make."

"Good girl. Now do you want to give your grandfather a proper hello?" Grace asked. Amy nodded. "Wait right here, I'll be right back." Grace disappeared into the bathroom and came back with a damp towel and a small packet in her left hand. She wiped down Amy's face and then had her blow her nose. Grace waved the package at her granddaughter who frowned.

One of the inventions Stark Industries made, aside from weapons, was a patch called a soulmark cover. Mostly it was used by anyone in the entertainment industry to cover the mark on their skin so it wouldn't be seen on film and become public or mess up whatever the script called for. In the more recent years, they had managed to extend the life of the covers so they could stay on for months at a time even if worn in the bath. Grace, Peggy, and Dum-Dum had discussed it and decided to put it over top of the soulmark on the left side of Amy's neck. They would eventually tell her what it was and what it said, but the suspicions Dum-Dum had in the safe house after they had found her were good reasons to let the girl continue to think that it was just a scar. When she had asked why they would need to cover a scar, they told her they didn't want her to see every day and continue to be upset like she had been about her hair. Once they were sure she was stable and back on her feet, they'd come clean and see if she could remember who her soulmate was. Though they had suspicions about who it was, they could always be wrong.

"Gammie, it hurts," Amy whined.

"I know, sweetie, but it's just for a second. Count backwards from five," Grace told her.

"Five, four, three, owwww!" Amy cried as Grace pulled off the old one like a bandage.

"It always hurts less when you're not expecting it," Grace said. Amy nodded and tilted her head to the side. Grace brushed the hair aside then placed the new cover on her neck before letting Clint take the girl back downstairs.

Amy went to her grandfather and waited for a break in the conversation. When it came, she got up on the couch and wrapped her arms around him. Dugan smiled and hugged her tight. "Hi, Pop-Pop, I missed you lots and I'm glad I'm back home now," Amy said.

"I missed you too, 'Melia. You're home to stay now and that's what's important," Dugan answered. Amy nodded.

That night after her bath and Dugan reading her a story, Bucky stopped in her doorway. "Are you still mad at me, Kobik?" Bucky asked.

"You made a choice and I have to respect that," Amy answered, snuggling down under her comforter.

"But that choice didn't make you happy."

"Wasn't my choice to make or to make you make."

"I only want you safe and I don't want you to worry about things like being attacked or defending yourself."

"But if I could defend myself, you wouldn't have to worry about protecting me."

"Right now you should just worry about getting better."

"Okay."

December blew in on the warmer side but the temperature dropped all month long so by Christmas it was cold outside but with no chance for snow. Grace worked hard to put together Christmas dinner with the help of Jones's wife and Peggy. They were just about to sit for dinner when Amy noticed Bucky was missing. She slipped up the stairs and into Bucky's room.

"Bucky?" she asked softly.

"Yes?" he asked. Amy stepped further into the room and saw him sitting in the chair staring out the window.

"Will you come downstairs for dinner? You don't have to, but they'd like to see you. Not because they want to see you like a caged animal but because they're your friends."

"Dum-Dum has already said that."

"For me then? It's been a while since I've seen them too and I'm scared. I don't think I know them too well anymore."

"I'm sure they will like you just fine. I saw Agent Barton and Natalia down there too."

"Yeah but ... ok. I'll go."

"Kobik, they're friends with your grandfather, they'll be nice to you."

"I know. I'm sorry to bother you, Bucky." She looked down at her feet and scuffed the toe of her shoe against the floor.

Bucky's heart broke. She was trying to help him out and offer him a hand of comfort and he was just shooting her down. "I'll tell you what, if it makes you happier, you can call me Soldat, just between the two of us okay?"

"Amelia Grace, if you are bothering Bucky, I will bust your butt!" Dugan's voice echoed up the stairs.

"I should go, but consider coming downstairs. Even if it's just to sit and listen."

"I'll think about it."

"Amelia! Now!" Amy smiled at Bucky then left his room. As Amy said into her seat her grandfather gave her an expectant look.

"Sorry, Pop, but you said Christmas is about family and Bucky is family."

"She's got you there Dum-Dum," Peggy said.

"Okay. Shall we?" Dugan asked. Once everyone was served and began to eat, Bucky appeared behind the empty chair between Amy and Peggy. "Sarge, have a seat."

"I ..."

"It's okay, really," Dugan coaxed. Bucky swallowed but took a seat. As he filled his plate, Dugan introduced the rest of the table. "You know Grace and Amy and Peggy, to her right is Peggy's godson Tony, Gabe Jones and his wife Martha, Jim Morita, 'Happy' Sam Sawyer, Pinky Pinkerton, Clint, Natasha, and Nick Fury. Everyone, James Barnes." The greetings went around the table. It went quiet at the table as everyone enjoyed their dinners. Then Jones mentioned something that happened during the war and they were off telling stories. Dinner drew to a close but they remained at the table as dessert was brought out. After the dessert was eaten and the stories drew to a close, Bucky withdrew as most of the party moved to the living room. They talked until it began to get late then everyone made their excuses to leave. Both Happy Sam and Pinky said their goodbyes first and expressed their gratitude at being invited and getting to meet Bucky. Peggy, Tony, and Nick followed them and were followed by Jones and his wife. Soon it was just Clint, Amy, Grace and Dugan in the living room as Bucky had gone to bed and everyone else had left.

"Amy, I have something for you. Sort of a Christmas and birthday present since I don't know when I'll see you next. Will you come with me?" Clint asked. Amy nodded and followed him to the garage where he motioned to a blanket covered item. Amy looked from it to him and back. "Go on." Clint motioned to it again. Amy went to it and pulled the blanket off it. She stared in shock.

"You got me a bicycle?" Amy asked. "I don't really know how to ride a bicycle. Pop-Pop was supposed to teach me, he bought me one for my fifth birthday but then I was taken."

"Oh. I didn't mean to upset you," he said, kneeling next to her. She folded the blanket over her arms. "I can always take it back."

"No. It's okay. I think I'd like to learn. Plus it's blue. I like blue." Amy smiled. "Thank you, Mr. Clint," Amy said.

"You're welcome." He took the blanket from her and she hugged him.

"Thank you for coming."

Clint rubbed her back, relishing the hug. Sure, SHIELD would send him by from time to time to make sure she was doing okay and that she wasn't drawing attention to herself with her powers but he wasn't going to get a lot of time with her and one day he might end up regretting it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian translations: 
> 
> Razve oni ne skazali, chto lybov' dlya detey? (Разве они не сказали, что любовь для детей?) = Did they not say love is for children?
> 
> Oni skazali mnogo veshchey, s kotorymi ya bol'she ne soglasen (Они сказали много вещей, с которыми я больше не согласен.) = They say a lot of things I no longer agree with.


	12. Birthdays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say this to get started. I do not have kids, though plenty old enough it just hasn't been in the cards. I do however have two nieces who luckily have never done the latter half of the chapter. I also work retail so I've heard plenty of tantrums and screaming kids and wish even half of them would be handled as Dugan does.

By the time Amy's birthday rolled around, she had finished the fourth grade workbook and moved on to fifth grade. Since she was able to do so, her grandmother sat her down at the counter the day before her birthday. She was making cupcakes for the next day. "I know we talked about teaching you to defend yourself," Grace said to her granddaughter. She watched the mixer spinning the mix, though she kept the corner of her eye on her granddaughter.

Amy nodded. "Uh-huh. Finished my book and everything. Pop is teaching me to ride my bike and I do almost everything you ask of me. I even talk to Doctor Kate," Amy answered.

"I know you do and I am so proud of you. Your granddad and I have talked and we've decided that you will be allowed to take self-defense training. Bucky however will not be teaching you." Grace turned off the machine and stepped up beside it, leaning across the counter to take Amy's hands in her own.

"Oh?" Amy frowned.

"Yes. We've spoken with Peggy and she'll send over an instructor at the start of next month."

Grace could see Amy's mind working. She wasn't sure if the girl was going to protest or if she was going to accept it and move on. A battle was raging inside the girl but she decided to take the decision in stride. Amy nodded and looked up at her grandmother, a slight smile on her face. "Thank you, Gammie."

"You're welcome." Grace paused and went back to making the cupcakes. She added the final ingredients to the mix and continued to speak. "Now, there is something else. Every year on your birthday your grandfather and I hold ... we held a press conference with the media to remind people we were still praying for the safe return of our grandbaby. This year we are so pleased to not have to do that. We are still going to hold a press conference but it will be to thank everyone for all the work they did keeping this case in the public eye and for their support while you recover."

"But SHIELD brought me home.''

"With the help of an anonymous tip letting us know where you were."

"So what can I do? Or were you just telling me so I wouldn't be upset if I saw it on the news?"

"We would like you to make a statement at the press conference."

"Okay."

Grace shut off the mixer again and lifted the beater out of the bowl. She looked at her granddaughter again who was sitting up on her knees on the stool, her elbows resting on the counter as she stared at the beater and the mix dripping from it. "'Melia, do you remember what Doctor Kate said about choices?" Grace asked cautiously.

Amy shrugged. "That they're important and need to be respected, especially when made by someone you love or care about." The girl kept her eyes on the beater and not her grandmother.

Grace reached across the counter and turned the girl's attention to her. "And what have we told you about making choices?"

Amy's shoulders dropped and she frowned. "It doesn't matter what I want. Your choice is important and I respect it," Amy recited.

"That is not what we taught you."

"Is too," Amy protested.

"You're right. We taught you to respect the choice that other people make about themselves or that we make for your safety, but we also taught you your choices are just as important. If you don't feel comfortable or you're not ready to talk to the press and the public, your grandfather and I will respect that."

"You want me to talk to them then I respect that. You and Pop wouldn't put me in danger."

"But it's your decision, 100 percent. We wouldn't put you in danger but we want you to take that step when you are ready not when we think you're ready. I want you to think about it tonight, sleep on it and if you feel ready you can tell me at breakfast."

"Okay." Amy looked around the kitchen then back at her grandmother. "Is Mommy coming tomorrow?"

Grace let go of her face and began to dish the cake mix into the paper line cupcake tin. "I don't think so, honey. Your mom was really upset by what happened to you and she has not come to terms with it. I'm sure when she does, she'll come to visit. Until then you're going to stay with me and Pop-Pop."

"Okay."

Later that night, Amy scrambled up onto Bucky's bed just before bath time as he read a book. She looked around then pressed the soles of her feet together and held them there with her hands. Bucky watched her curiously.

"Soldat, may I ask you something?" Amy asked, avoiding his eyes.

"Of course. What's going on?" Bucky answered, setting his book aside.

"Tomorrow, Gammie and Pop-Pop are going to talk to the press and say thank you to everyone for bringing me home. Do you think I should be there for that? Gammie said she wants me to but I'm not sure."

Bucky smiled softly. "On the one hand, it shows that you're home and you're working towards feeling better, but on the other hand, it gives everyone a chance to see what you look like and maybe they find it easier to come after you."

Amy stared at him worriedly. "You don't think I should do it, do you?" she asked.

Bucky sighed. He didn't want to let her down but he also didn't want to lie to her. "I think it's a choice you're going to have to make that I can't make for you."

"But I want to know what you think," she insisted.

"I told you what I thought. It's good and bad both."

"Do you think I'm ready?"

"You're the strongest girl I know. I know you've been through a lot but you've recovered a lot too."

"Will you be there?" She looked so hopeful it broke Bucky's heart to let her down.

"I know that I'm not ready for that kind of exposure."

"And you think I am?"

"I think you can do anything you put your mind to."

"You're not helping, Bucky."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't know what to do. I'm scared." Amy stared down at her feet and played with her toes.

Bucky reached out and touched her feet. "Are you scared because you don't know what to do?"

"Uh-huh."

"Sleep on it; I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"Ok. It'd be much easier if you or Pop-Pop would just tell me what to do."

"I know but that won't help you learn."

Amy sighed. "Fine." Amy looked up at him and grinned. Then she practically threw herself into his arms. "Night, Bucky."

"Night, Kobik." He answered holding her tightly for a moment.

The following morning Bucky woke Amy just after 8 am. "Morning, Bucky." She grinned up at him.

"Morning. Do you want to tell me why Bucky Bear was in my room when I woke up this morning?" Bucky asked. She noticed the bear in Bucky's hand.

"Maybe I forgot him last night." Amy shrugged.

The way she looked away, avoiding his eyes and toying with her covers told him right away she was lying. Plus, he would have remembered her having the bear the night before. "You didn't have him when you came in last night."

"Maybe you borrowed him after I went to sleep."

"Amy."

"Maybe he heard you were having a nightmare and wanted to help. Did you know toys move when no one is paying attention to them?" She glanced at him but his face still said he didn't believe her.

"Kobik, this isn't a movie."

She huffed and finally met his eyes. "I know Pop-Pop made me promise not to go in there while the door is shut, but you were crying and begging someone to stop. Me and Bucky Bear just wanted to help. Please don't be mad or tell Pop-Pop. Bucky Bear always protects me from nightmares."

She looked so small and sad in her bed. He knew she just wanted to help and though he didn't believe in the protectiveness of teddy bears, she did and he didn't want to take that from her yet. "Don't do it again." Bucky sighed.

"Ok."

"Have you made a decision about what you're going to do today?" he changed the subject.

"I think it'd be okay to be with Pop and Gammie."

"Do you want to say something?"

"Not sure I can do that. Are you going to stay here?"

"I am but Dum-Dum said that it'll be out front at the end of the driveway."

"But I'm not allowed past the marker near the end of the driveway." Dugan had put a stone marker beside the driveway that marked the closest she could go towards the road without being seen from it and she could still be seen from the front porch of the house. She often rode her bike down there and back.

"You're not allowed down there without an adult. You'll have both your grandparents and Peggy there with you today."

"Oh." She reached out and he handed over Bucky Bear.

Amy stood next to her grandmother at the end of the drive, watching the news people gathered around. Before the press conference, Grace had told her if she looked past the photogs the flashes wouldn't hurt her eyes so much. She kept a smile on her face as Dugan talked to the press. Eventually she squeezed Grace's hand. Grace bent down so she could hear. "Can I say thank you?" Amy asked.

"In a moment," Grace answered. She stood back up and smiled. Once his statement drew to an end, Grace whispered to her husband who nodded and motioned to Amy who moved to her grandfather.

"And now Amy would like to speak," Dum-Dum said. He lifted her up to the microphone and handed her a piece of paper. Amy looked down at the paper and read from it.

"Hi. As many of you know, my name is Amy Portland. When I was much littler I was kidnapped. Bad guys took me from my mommy's house and held me for a long time. Then someone came and found me. I want to say thank you to everyone who found me, saved me, and brought me home. Everything you did for me means a lot. I am slowly recovering and I thank you for letting me recover in privacy. I gotta go now, thank you again." Dugan put her down and watched her walk back up the drive and disappear. He knew Bucky was watching from the roof and tracked her all the way up the drive.

That afternoon, Grace sat a cupcake in front of Amy with two lit number one candles. "Make a wish," she said gently.

Amy thought hard then made a wish and blew out the candles. "What'd you wish for?" Dugan asked.

"Don't tell him. It won't come true if you tell him," Grace answered.

"Yeah, Pop-Pop, I don't want to jinx it," Amy said.

"Ok, ok. I won't ask," Dugan answered. He grinned. Amy smiled up at him. Grace pulled the candles from the cupcake and moved to the sink to wash them off.

"Can I—May I have some milk, Pop-Pop?" Amy asked. Dugan nodded. With both grandparents in the kitchen with their backs turned, Amy took the knife and cut the cupcake in half then carefully carried it upstairs to Bucky's room. The door was slightly ajar so she pushed it open, calling his name. "Bucky? May I come in?"

"What's up, kid? I thought you'd be celebrating with your grandparents?" Bucky said.

"I wanted to celebrate with you. We can share my cupcake." Amy held it out to him as she approached his chair. Bucky sighed but pulled her into his lap. She handed him one half and looked down at the other half.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know."

"I know you do," Bucky said.

"I just feel like something's missing."

"'Cause your mom's not here?"

"No, it's not that." Amy shook her head, trying to figure it out.

"Then what?"

"I don't know. I always feel bad on my birthday. I never know why, but I always do. It's like, something's missing and I can never explain it. It's how I've always known it's my birthday. It just feels off." Amy shrugged.

"Well, here's to your birthday," Bucky said, holding his half of the cupcake up. Amy touched her half to his and they both ate.

"I think this has been the best year yet," Amy told him, licking the chocolate cake crumbs from her fingers. "Despite my bad feeling. Best in a long time." Amy leaned her head back against Bucky's chest and listened to his steady heartbeat.

Dugan stepped into the room a few minutes later and raised an eyebrow at the sight. "Yeah?" he asked.

"I didn't mean to. She just—" Bucky said.

"Has a way of getting under your skin?" Dugan asked.

"Definitely true."

"I'm glad she's helping you, even if I don't like her disobeying me."

"Maybe she's just trying to see how far she can push you or maybe her nature wins out over her conscience."

"Either way. I can go put her down, if you want," Dugan suggested.

"No, she's good."

Three days later, Bucky, Dugan, and Amy went out to a store so Dugan could buy Amy some more pants and shoes and Bucky could also get more clothes. "Okay, try these on," Dugan told her, offering her another pair of jeans.

"I'm done trying things on. I don't wanna!" Amy cried, crossing her arms over her chest and stomping her foot.

"'Melia, it's just one more pair," Dugan said gently.

"Too many pairs. I'm done! I'm done and I wanna go home." What followed was a full on meltdown. She started screaming and crying and stopped making sense. Dugan let a breath out and took her hand.

"Come on," he said.

"We go home now?" Amy asked, sniffling.

"Nope." That brought on another screaming fit.

"Don't wanna! Don't wanna! I. Don't. Wanna!" she screamed. She dragged her feet as Dugan pulled her along to a corner. He sat down in the corner grudgingly. He was really getting too old to get down on the floor with Amy. Dugan took a deep breath and slowly let it out. He pulled Amy to sit down in front of him as Bucky stood a few feet away scanning the store. Dugan knew he was trying to keep them safe and give them privacy at the same time. "Amy, bring it down." He dragged his hand through the air from her stomach downwards, mimicking his words.

"I wanna go home," Amy cried. She stomped her feet again, crying full-on tears.

"I know. I know you're overwhelmed, so let's take a minute to feel better. Okay? Shut everything out and take a minute," Dugan told her. Amy stomped her feet, her face scrunching up as she let out another loud cry. Dugan reached out and pushed her feet to the floor which caused her to cry louder. Dugan used one hand to keep her feet on the floor and the other to rub the back of her calf, ignoring the looks from passing mothers, hoping that she'd calm down. Sure enough, like she had when she was little and having a meltdown, after about four or five minutes, she calmed down. "Can I let go without you kicking the floor?"

"Yes," Amy pouted as she gasped in air.

Dugan pulled his hand back off her feet. "Will you take a deep breath for me?"

"No." Amy shook her head.

"Please?"

"C—can't."

"Try." Amy frowned but sucked in air. "One more time." Amy did it again and again until she was breathing normally. "Good girl. Now, can you tell me why you don't want to try on any more pants?"

"Too many. Tired." She rubbed her eyes which were bloodshot.

"Amy, use your words."

"I already tried on lots, don't like—I feel like I won't find any I do like. And I'm tired. Wanna go h—home," she gasped out.

"Okay, I'll make a deal with you. Okay?"

"Deal?" Amy asked confused.

"This way we both get what we want. We can go home soon, but first I need you to try on one more pair of pants and pick the ones you like best and then we pay for them. After we do that, then we can go home. Okay?"

Amy stared at the floor and tried to keep breathing normally. She sniffled a few times.

"'Melia, ok?" Dugan pressed.

"No."

"Amelia, I know this is hard, but sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. I'm trying not to make you suffer but we need to do this so you will have pants that fit."

"My pj pants fit." Amy pouted.

Dugan looked lost so he looked up at Bucky. Bucky walked over and knelt next to her. "Kobik, I know this is hard but I also know you're really brave. Do you think you can be really strong for us?" he asked.

"I don't want to," Amy sniffled.

"I know." Bucky took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb across the back of hers.

"Okay." Amy nodded. Bucky smiled and when she stood he hugged her. Amy turned to her grandfather. "I'm sorry, Pop-Pop. I know you need me to be good but sometimes it's just so hard."

"I understand that. Thank you for apologizing," Dugan said. "May I have a hug?" Amy nodded and opened her arms. Dugan pushed up into a kneeling position and pulled her into a hug. "I know you feel overwhelmed at times but I will always be here as a safe place for you to run to. I will never put you in danger. That I promise."

"Thanks, Pop-Pop."

They finished up their shopping trip and headed home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've tried to put this up at least once a day for the past five days but it didn't seem to work. Thanks for reading.


	13. Between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because we all know what happened this week.

* * *

Over the next three years, Amy blossomed into a well-rounded teenager who was almost finished with her high school classes. Dugan and Grace considered sending her to high school the September after she turned 13 but the therapist recommended against it when they realized she still panicked about being alone in public. Doctor Kate recommended exposure therapy and wanted daily updates. For the most part it worked, slowly Amy got used to being in public around other people, first without Bucky Bear then without her grandparents though they were nearby in case she had a panic attack. The final test was two days after her 14th birthday. Dugan told her that she would be dropped off at the mall and she needed to pick up a few items on a list before meeting him out front in two hours. What they didn't tell her was that Bucky would be watching from a distance just for her safety. Doctor Kate had given her coping techniques to settle herself if she felt like a panic attack or fear was sneaking up on her which definitely helped. At no point did she need Bucky to step in so he kept watch from a distance in a ball cap pulled low with his hands in his pockets. He was even more sure that she never saw him.

Three days later, Bucky called Amy into his room. She sat down next to him on the bed. "Everything ok?" she asked. She tried to figure out what he was thinking by reading his face and then tried to read his mind. She got nothing from his mind, but he looked excited but nervous at the same time. She stared at him trying to figure it out.

"Earlier today I got a message I've been waiting for," he said.

"From who?"

"Peggy. I've been helping SHIELD out on a few missions here and there. Just running strategy; things I've picked up from being a master assassin. She has friends everywhere."

"Comes from being the head of a spy organization."

"Yeah. Anyway, one of her friends is King T'Chaka. He's from the African country of Wakanda. They're really advanced there and they can help."

"Help? Help with what?"

"If I want to make up for everything Hydra made me do, I need to make sure that no one can ever put me in that position again. That no one can take that free will away from me."

"But how?"

"The trigger words. There is a series of words in my brain that when said in Russian will turn me back into the Winter Soldier. The King and his team of scientists think they can remove the associations between the words and the training. Make them into just words again."

"Maybe I can help? I am a telepath. The brain is my specialty and I've been practicing."

"I know but I want to see if they can first. If they can't then we'll see what you can do, okay?"

"Will you call while you're over there?"

"I need you to take this time to get used to being without me. I know you've had a few days without me, but if this works then I'll be gearing up for more field work and I'll be gone for longer periods of time more often. I need to know you can handle that."

"Soldat!" Amy whined.

"I know, Kobik. I'm not abandoning you, I promise, I just need to do this."

"But—"

"Can you please do this? For me?"

"You're just going to sever ties? Just like that?" She tried not to look affronted but Bucky picked up on it.

"No. Never," he protested. "I will call but I'm not sure how soon. I want you to make friends too. Try to find people who make you happy. People you like being with."

"I like being with you."

"And I'm 74 years older than you. Old enough to be your grandfather."

"So are Jones and …" Amy trailed off. She flinched as she thought the man's name. Morita had passed away the previous year and it hurt to think of him. She shook her head and continued on. "Happy Sam. That doesn't mean anything."

"You need friends your own age. Maybe date a bit. Learn things you haven't and try to get out of your comfort zone."

"I like my comfort zone," Amy said.

"I know you do. We all do but sometimes to make life better we have to be real brave and step outside our comfort zone. Don't you think I'm scared about going to Africa?" Bucky asked.

"No. You're not scared of anything."

"That's not true. While I try to not show you how scared I am, I am definitely scared from time to time," Bucky told her.

"Nah, you're not scared of anything." Amy shook her head in disbelief.

"Can I let you in on a secret?" Bucky cupped her chin and turned her face to look at him. Amy nodded. "I didn't enlist before the war."

"You didn't? But your dad … Pop said that …" She trailed off as things stopped adding up.

"My dad served proud. I was terrified. When I was 19, he told me all about the war. How horrifying it was. I couldn't put myself through it. I worked at the docks for a while. Then the attack on Pearl Harbor happened. I was terrified. I knew that everyone would be rushing to sign up and I didn't want to. Then Steve got it in his head to try to enlist. I was lucky that he waited until '43 to do that. In early '43, I got a letter. I was so scared. I didn't want to see what my dad saw. I didn't want to go. But I knew that my best friend wanted to. How could I not go, when he wanted to? That was selfish and I couldn't do that to him. We had been through everything together and I couldn't do any less than he wanted to. So I told him that I enlisted. Got the training and eventually shipped out. I never told him I didn't enlist. I wanted to do my time and go home."

Amy nodded. That definitely made sense though one thing was still standing out to her. "Why didn't you go home? You had an out after you had been captured. That was enough to send anyone home on a medical discharge according to Pop, but you re-upped. You refused to let them send you home."

"I've been looking after Steve my entire life. He was about to chase Hydra into the jaws of death. I couldn't let him face that alone. I wouldn't let him face that alone even with how scared I was."

"Does everyone get scared?" Amy asked.

"Everybody does, including your grandfather," Bucky answered.

"You want me to try?"

"Yes. I also want you to work on broadening your powers. I know you already are but I want you to continue, okay?" Bucky looked at her eagerly.

Amy nodded reluctantly. While she was eager to work on her powers, she didn't want him to leave. The most they had been separated since they were rescued was the four months Bucky had been on trial. "When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow morning. I'll wait until you get up. I promise, I won't leave without saying goodbye."

"Thank you." They sat together, letting the quiet stretch between them. "Bucky. Please don't get mad at me, I'm just curious," she said hesitantly.

"Go on."

"Why don't you want me near your arm?" She quickly walked the question back when his face fell. "I understand you don't want to talk about it."

"It's not that." He shook his head.

"But it is something?"

"Yes." But he didn't explain.

Amy had to be careful with how hard she pushed. Push too hard he'd shut down and she'd ruin their last night under the same roof for a while. Don't push at all on the other hand and she'd never get the answer and it would drive her crazy. "Soldat, I like you for the man you are on the inside, not for what you look like on the outside or what you think of your arm. Yeah, it can be dangerous and I know you have done some dangerous stuff with it but I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt me." She waited for it to backfire but it didn't. He actually gave her an answer.

"It just reminds me of the horribleness I've been through. I don't want to remember that. What's more is I don't want you to be affected by that."

"Oh." That was a real good answer. One she didn't want to fight. Then again she wanted to help him through that and there was only one way. "But couldn't it be like the name Kobik? My therapist says if you take something bad and associate good memories with it, it won't be so bad anymore."

"What good came out of this arm?" he asked skeptically.

"You used it to protect me. When we left the facility. That's good. And you don't let anyone come after me now. Certainly all of that has to mean something."

"Yeah, I guess," Bucky answered, but he didn't sound like he believed it himself.

"Ok, I'll let it go." Amy smiled at him and dropped the subject. Bucky sighed and offered her his left hand. "If you don't want to do this, you don't have to. I'm not forcing you." That was the last thing she wanted to do, make him feel like she had guilt-tripped him into something he didn't want to do.

"No, you're right. Make it a good memory," Bucky said. Amy took his hand in both of hers and ran her fingertips across his palm then over the back of his hand.

"How do you feel with it?"

"The same way I feel with my other hand, just it's not processed the same. I can feel differences in texture and pressure but it doesn't feel the same as my flesh hand."

"But you can feel that?" she asked, tracing her hand across his gently.

"Yes."

"Hang on a second." Amy got up and went to her room then came back. She had one hand behind her back. "Is it waterproof? You can get it wet?"

"Yes," Bucky answered curiously. Amy sat down on his left side and ran her finger over the star. When he was just around the house, in his room especially, he tended to wear short or no-sleeved shirts. "Kobik? What are you doing?"

"I want to make a happy memory." Amy pulled out a set of washable markers. She straightened out his arm and uncapped a blue marker. When she finished, he looked down at it. She had outlined the red star with blue then colored most of the shoulder piece the same blue. Below that she had done the Howling Commandos' logo in yellow surrounded by black then a bunch of stars and stripes. At the bottom, on the back of his hand she drew a happy face. Bucky smiled.

"Thank you. I will always remember this. What's this?" Bucky asked. He tapped the logo.

"The Commandos' logo. Cap had it on his hood/helmet/mask, whatever you want to call it, and the Commandos had it on their left sleeves. Pop has an old sweater with it on it, you and the General, and a lot of the others had jackets with it on there. It's washable marker so it'll come off when you want."

"Amy, thank you." He lifted his left hand and cupped her cheek. "It means a lot to me that you see me like this and you aren't scared."

"Don't think I could ever be scared of you. I'm just going to miss you."

"I will miss you too, but when I come back, I will hopefully be better. I owe you and my friends that."

"Can I stay for a while?" She really didn't want to go to bed and make morning come any faster than it had to.

"Sure." Bucky smiled. He was in the same boat. He really wanted to spend as much time as he could before he couldn't any more. Amy put her markers on the bedside table and curled up on Bucky's bed. Bucky sat next to her and rubbed her back telling her about some of the missions he helped plan for SHIELD. Well, the ones that weren't highly classified.

Amy did eventually date over the next four years but none ever meant a whole lot to her, especially the two who found their soulmates within months of dating her. Just before her 18th birthday, Grace took Amy to the pediatrician for the last time. He ran every test on her he could think of then sat down across from her declaring her a normal, healthy, almost 18 year old girl. He gave her a recommendation for a gynecologist and a primary care physician before asking if she had any questions.

"Just one," Amy said since her grandmother is out of the room. "I know—rather I've been told that your soulmark appears at birth and it stays visible for the number of hours that correspond to the number of years it'll be before you meet them. That's the only time other people can see the mark until you meet your soulmate."

"That's correct," the doctor answered.

"Is it ever recorded what someone's soulmark is and how long it's visible?"

"It's up to the parents and if it is, then it's put in the child's medical file."

"Is mine in the file?"

"I can't show you that until you're 18."

"What? It's my medical file."

"And you're still a minor. I'm sorry but I can't."

"I know what it says; I just want to know when I'll meet him."

The doctor nodded sheepishly. "Again, I can't tell you that."

"Please, doc, I'll be 18 in two days. Two days and you won't tell me? Please?"

The doctor scanned through the file his finger trailing down the page. It was almost as if he was looking for a reason to confirm his choice. "Amelia, you can beg and plead and try your hardest to convince me but I cannot tell you that. Even with your best argument, I wouldn't be able to." The doctor turned the file towards her and pointed to the line. "It's been redacted. Like a few other things in your files. All of your injuries are listed as well as weight and temperature and height at different checkups but the number of hours your soulmark was visible has been redacted, the name of your father, your grandfather's job, the year your parents divorced, your medical records between '96 and 2001, all of that has been redacted. To see it you have to speak with a Nick Fury."

"Oh, okay."

"Do you have any other questions?"

Amy thought it over, her eyes moving back and forth thinking over everything. "No, that's everything."

"Ok. Well, you're free to go. To get a copy of your records you can speak with the nurse at the desk." Amy nodded and left the room to find her grandmother talking to the nurse. Amy convinced the nurse and her grandmother to sign off on the records release and went home to study them. From there she called her Aunt Peggy who, while reluctant at first, eventually told her who Nick Fury was. He was now the head of SHIELD. Originally Peggy had put Alexander Pierce in charge but once she had found out he was part of Hydra, he had been removed and Nick put in charge. For some reason the name struck a chord with her, then Peggy told her that Fury had been to their place for the Christmas after Amy had been rescued.

Amy found her way into his office several days later. She knew her grandparents would be angry if they found out what she was after but being 18 and a legal adult she knew she had the right to see the records. "How did you get in here?" Nick asked when she sat down across from him.

"I told the lady at the desk that if she didn't let me in, I'd have a master assassin take her out since I know the one they call the Winter Soldier," Amy answered.

"The Winter Soldier is a ghost story," Nick answered.

"Yes, so are you apparently," Amy said, staring him down and trying to use her powers on him. It had never worked without touching someone before, but she was trying really hard. However, it didn't seem to work. "What I mean is my name is Amy Portland." Amy stood and offered him a hand. Nick watched her for a moment but took her hand. The minute he did, Amy focused very hard and tried to figure out what he knew about her and what it would take to get what she wanted. Hopefully, if she did it right, he would reveal hints how to get it. "What I really told the nice assistant was that I needed to speak with you about my past. That there's something I think only you can answer."

Nick stared at her then shook his head. "Have a seat," he said. Amy let him go then sat back down. "I am a very busy man so make it quick."

"I understand that. My aunt Peg sent me. She and my grandfather are indecisive on something and I don't want to push them but I'm hoping I can convince you to help me out," Amy said gently.

"Help you with what?" Nick asked.

"Files from my kidnapping case. The police don't have much and they don't know how I was found. I remember bits of it but I was little and Aunt Peg says they're here."

"Amelia Portland? Why would your files be here? Why does your aunt Peg think they are? We're a secret government organization; we don't investigate kidnappings."

"Because SHIELD found me. Specifically, Agent Coulson and Agent Barton, in a Hydra facility in Kansas. I know there are records here of not only my kidnapping but of Hydra Operation Kobik." She paused and looked down at her lap. "Sir," she looked back at him, "I'm not looking for the entire file and all the things that are classified, I just want to know what I can't remember about my past. Please, sir. I just want to know."

Nick stared at her then typed something on his computer. "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about," he said.

"You are the head of SHIELD. Certainly, you know everything and they don't keep anything from you? I don't want to push but I really need those records. I don't have time for paperwork only to be told I don't have clearance for them. It's my past; don't I have a right to see it?"

"What do you think you know about Operation Kobik? Not that I'm confirming Operation Kobik exists or that there would be records on it if it did."

"That it exists. That it was used to take a little girl from her family for five years? I know all of this the same way I know details of the Winter Soldier project. The subject of Operation Kobik would know it exists."

"Even if it did exist, you wouldn't have clearance. No one has clearance for that file. How did you get past security? You aren't even part of SHIELD." Nick glared at her. Amy swallowed. Honestly she had shook hands with the guard then used her telepathy to search his mind and allow her access as just another SHIELD agent.

"I turned on the charm. I smiled and talked my way past the guard. Friend of mine taught me how. Director Fury, please. I just want to know my past. I hate having this big empty spot in my memory." That's when it hit her how she knew Fury aside from him dropping by for that Christmas. "I remember you. Coulson and Clint weren't the only ones there. You drove me to the doctor from the facility. I remember your face."

Nick observed her for a few minutes longer as she glanced between him and her lap. Then his computer dinged and she looked up as he read the results. "Place your hand on the scanner," Nick said. Amy looked at the desk to see a black, what looked like a flat computer screen, on his desk. She pressed her right hand to it and a green line moved up and down the scanner under her hand. His computer dinged again. "You really are her." He looked at the computer screen closely and then stood. Amy removed her hand from the scanner. He walked over to the filing cabinet and crouched in front of the bottom drawer. He unlocked it then pulled it out all the way. He removed the panel from the bottom of the cabinet, reached inside, and after a few moments he pulled his hand back out with a file in it. It was a rather thick file. He walked back to his desk and sat down placing the file on the desk and folding his hands over it. "I know what you are capable of. Only the head of SHIELD can see your file. Well them and you. After it was filed not even your grandfather can see it."

"So you're saying I can see it?"

"Director Carter wasn't sure when you'd be ready to see it."

"They're overprotective when it comes to my mental health. To put my past behind me, I have to understand it and process it. It's what my therapist says. This file will help me to do that."

"This is the only copy of this file. It does not leave this room." Fury nodded to her then left the file on the desk as he walked out the door. Amy scrambled for the file and sat down on the floor looking through it. It was almost four inches thick though there were several pages that she didn't understand as they were in German. At least she thought they were German. She had been learning a few languages but not a lot had stuck. The more she read of the English pages, the more she began to second guess her idea. Though she didn't understand all the tests Hydra had run in her, partly because some were in German and the ones that weren't were in scientific language, she did understand the word infusion that was repeated over and over in those five years they had had her. She remembered some of those. Long needles into her major muscle groups. After which she was forced into test after test to see if anything had changed. Her finger scrolled down the lists of tests before she moved on to her older medical history. The history from before she was taken. It listed a length of shots and immunizations that she had gotten plus a round of chicken pox when she was 4. Then she found the part about her soulmark. She stopped before she read it though.

Did she really want to know exactly when she was going to meet her soulmate? On one hand, it meant that she'd know when to start worrying and expect it but on the other hand, it took away the mystery. Without knowing how old she'd be when she met him, and she was pretty sure it was a him, it could happen on a totally random day and it would be sweeter. However, if she knew that she'd meet him a specific year she'd be hyped up all year and it wouldn't be good for her psyche. She put the pages back without reading any further. As she looked back over the Hydra Operation Kobik files she saw a name. Wolfgang von Strucker. He was listed as the lead scientist on the operation. Before she could read any further into it the door opened.

"Director Fury, there's an incoming call from—Where's Director Fury?"

"Think he went to get coffee."

"Oh." Amy stared hard at the woman. That's when she heard the rest of the sentence. _'Call from Wakanda. Sergeant Barnes is requesting a one on one, face to face chat.'_

Amy thought real hard on one sentence _'I should put the call through.'_

"He should be back in a moment. I'll load the call through here. Let him know he just has to hit the spacebar to answer it."

Amy stared in shock, that shouldn't have worked. There should be no way she could make someone do what she wanted without touching them. However, she wasn't about to stop the woman when it meant she could talk to Bucky for the first time in over four years. She nodded and the assistant left the room.


	14. Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we get into the bulk of it.

* * *

Amy walked around Nick Fury's desk after the assistant left and when the screen popped up she hit the spacebar. "Bucky," she said when his face came on the screen.

"Kobik? How are you … did you ...? Hey." He finally settled on a greeting.

"Hi. You look well."

"Thanks. You too. What are you doing at SHIELD?"

"I became an agent," she told him. He stared at her in disbelief. "You would hate that idea, wouldn't you? You and my grandpa both. If this world isn't safe and agents are laying down their lives to protect us, I've got no right to do any less."

An image blossomed in Bucky's mind of another, smaller blonde saying [something similar](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5LNouReH_I). _"I'm not going to sit in a factory, Bucky. Bucky, come on. There are men laying down their lives. I've got no right to do any less than them."_ Bucky swallowed just like he had over 65 years ago. "You've got nothing to prove," he said, giving almost the exact same answer.

She watched him a moment longer. "I came for my file. Wanted to know what I couldn't remember."

"So you're not an agent? I thought the age requirement was 21 anyway but …"

"Actually, the age requirement is 18 but no, I am not an agent. Would you be against me becoming one?"

"It's your decision; I'm not going to take it from you. You said you have to be 18 so we don't have to worry about it for—"

She cut him off. "I turned 18 two weeks ago."

"You did?" He tried not to show how shocked he was. It couldn't have been that long since he had been with her.

"Yeah. You've been out of touch for four years."

"I—I apologize. For the first year and a half they kept me under cryostasis then they worked on my brain and for the last six months I've been adjusting and going on missions. I wrote you, but nothing seemed enough. I couldn't … couldn't put it into words."

"Are you good now?"

"We don't have anyone here who speaks Russian and knows the trigger words so we're not completely sure but I feel better."

"Oh? What about Nat?"

"Yeah. Nat is out and SHIELD doesn't want to wait. On the other hand they gave me a new codename while I'm here: White Wolf."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. Kid, [don't do anything stupid until I get back](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/bc8c6075-65e6-4284-80c2-27a36eb39645), okay?"

"Me? Do something stupid? [How can I](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/1b5dd3ef-379e-4b2a-a895-cbc9fa85a807)? The stupid went with you to Wakanda."

Bucky froze for a moment. Did she know what she just said? Was it just a coincidence that she had used that line or had she read it in his mind? He didn't want to ask though so he changed the subject. "The princess here, she reminds me of you."

"How so?"

"Ten year old, little spunk of a girl, but my, she's brilliant. The things she talks about, sometimes go right over my head and not just because it's something from this millennium that I haven't caught up on. The tech here could run circles around everything I've seen in the States. That's beside the point though."

"Ms. Portland, what are you doing?" a deep voice asked from near the door.

"Uh … nothing." Amy grinned at the director as their eyes connected. She tried not to portray how scared she was. This could go very bad if he caught her using his resources to talk to her friend or if he caught her lying and threw her out.

"Bold choice to lie to me," Nick answered.

"You're right. I am sitting in your chair and I was reading my file. When you walked in I was looking at your computer screen but I have not looked at any of your files." The last thing she wanted to tell him was about talking to Bucky. For some reason she felt like SHIELD was keeping her from him.

Nick stared her down but she didn't break. "Get out of my chair," Nick said.

Amy looked back at the computer and mouthed _'sorry'_ before moving across the office. She sat back down in the chair across the desk and watched Nick.

"Sergeant Barnes, it's not time for your check in. I'll have to get back to you," Nick told him.

"Alright, I understand. I got what I really wanted anyway," Bucky said. Nick looked up after a moment.

"I understand you don't want him in contact with me, personal lives can get agents killed or compromised, but I have known Bucky for eight years. He is good at disassociating who he is and who he needs to be. There is no doubt in my mind no one could ever break him," Amy said softly.

"We have nothing to do with keeping Sergeant Barnes away from you. He understood the risks and the requirements at the start. He agreed to them," Nick said to her.

"I want to join SHIELD," Amy said abruptly.

"I'm sorry?" Nick asked.

"I want to join SHIELD."

"No."

"I know you know who my grandfather is, who I grew up around. I've seen how terrible this world is and I want to make it better. It's what SHIELD is meant to do. I just want to help."

"SHIELD recruits, not the other way around."

"Then who better to recruit? I know that SHIELD has been watching me since I came back." Amy flipped open her file and pulled out the page on her recovery. Right at the very top it said _'Index Entry 45.'_ This was followed by her full name, her list of powers, and how she got them and then at the very bottom _'Case Worker: Agent Clint F. Barton'_. "How's the saying go: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?" Amy asked. "With me as part of SHIELD, you'll have me right under your watchful eye."

Nick stared at her. She had a point. If she was part of SHIELD, he'd have her close at hand and not only would he be able to keep her safe but he'd also be able to know where she was constantly and could get a handle on how strong her powers were. Her grandparents and Peggy wouldn't be okay with it but ultimately it would be the girls' decision. "I'll get back to you. Are you finished with that file?" Nick asked.

Amy flipped through the file scanning through each page but making sure to skip the part about her soulmark and landed on her biographical information. That's when she saw what she had suspected for the last three years: Richard Portland wasn't her biological father. There was even a DNA test on the next page to prove it. "When was I DNA tested?" Amy asked.

"When you were 10, at Director Carter's insistence. She wanted to make sure you were Colonel Dugan's grandkid."

"And Agent Barton's kid?" Amy asked.

"You don't sound surprised." Nick didn't seem surprised by that either. Then again he was the director of SHIELD and had access to her file so he had probably seen it in there.

"I overheard him and my grandfather talking. Pop was trying to convince Agent Barton not to feel guilty for missing so many birthdays and holidays. However, I don't want that or my grandfather's legacy or my Aunt Peggy to influence your decision. I want to do this on my own merit."

"I'll take that into consideration."

Amy closed the file and set it on the desk. "You know I'd make a good agent. Agent Barton comes with Agent Romanoff and I grew up with Sergeant Barnes. Three master assassins. How much better training could a girl ask for?" Amy left him with that thought and drove back to Boston.

That's how 18 months later she found herself back in Director Fury's office as a fully trained field agent. They had sped up the normal training when they saw how quickly she went through the course load and the physical training.

"I don't want you in the field until I am completely certain of what you can do with whatever enhancement they gave you. Your training instructors however say they have nothing more to teach you because you get the concept in minutes. Agent Coulson in particular believes you're ready for field work. You'll be going with him to New Mexico. Strictly observation. You are not to engage with anything you may find out there. Tomorrow afternoon Coulson will pick you up from the Albuquerque airport on his way into the site. You are to follow his orders to the letter. If you refuse or disobey, I'll have you buried so deep in the records department that you'll never see field work again. Understood?" Fury barked.

"Yes, sir," Amy answered.

"I want you with Coulson or Barton at all times while you are out there. You are to never be alone."

"Not even when I pee, sir?" Fury glared at her. "Orders to the letter, sir."

"Don't be a smartass. It doesn't suit you. Gear up, wheels up in 17."

"Minutes?"

"Hours."

"Sir, where is Agent Coulson?"

"Above your pay grade." Amy really wanted to say that she knew Coulson's status put him above her pay grade but she knew that could jeopardize her going on this mission so she held quiet taking it that he meant Coulson's current location was not for her knowledge. "Dismissed!" Fury ordered. Amy nodded and left the office before bolting to the dorms to pack what little gear she had. Essentially clothes, toiletries, and an iPod that had been a late 18th birthday present from Bucky. He had had one of the scientists help him load it with every song he knew she liked plus some of his old school favorites that she had heard from his room and from her grandparents late at night. Even though it had been more than a year since she had received the gift she had yet to make it through the entire catalog. She was getting close though.

After landing in New Mexico, Amy found Coulson and he led her to a black sedan. "New car?" she asked.

"It's more of a lease, so don't put your feet on my dash," Coulson answered.

"Of course SHIELD has cars everywhere," Amy muttered. Amy plugged in her headphones as she settled into the passenger seat and watched out the window as they headed for the site of the readings. There was something massive that had crash landed in the desert and they had to go find and secure the scene before the rest of the teams arrived. They were nearly there when Amy turned off her iPod and turned to Coulson. "Thank you for getting me out of that building. It means a lot that you trust me with this," Amy said, talking about out of SHIELD headquarters and not about the Hydra facility.

"You're welcome. Everyone has to start somewhere," Coulson said. "Check the readings with the map."

"They're coming from about five miles north," she said after consulting the tech and a paper map he had handed her. They stopped on a hill overlooking a massive crater. "Well, it's hard to miss," she mentioned.

Coulson called it in then looked down on it. "You know what it reminds me of?" he asked.

"An imprint of the Captain's shield," Amy answered.

Coulson smirked then, once they had backup, began to clear out the locals. By nightfall they had a small city built around the crater. What was in the middle of the crater, she had no idea as she wasn't allowed anywhere near the crater. Instead she spent most of her time in the command module watching screens of perimeter surveillance for trespassers and keeping half an eye on Agent Sitwell. She couldn't read his mind as he was completely hands off with her but she could feel something weird coming from him every time he looked at her.

Then she heard a call for Sitwell across the room. "Sir, we have storm clouds gathering out of nowhere. It looks like it might be some sort of electrical storm. We're also reading a spike in interference from the 0-8-4," the technician said.

"Show me the Keyhole coverage," Sitwell answered, approaching the tech.

"Sir, feed from the keyhole can barely penetrate the cloud cover. Tech's barely working as it is, with all the interference that thing is giving off."

Amy sat up and stared at the monitors around her. She noticed the breach in the fence at the same time as the other tech.

"Hold a sec. We've got something outside the fence, west side," the other tech told him. Sitwell ordered two men to check it out as Amy scrambled to get a better look at the cameras. When they didn't report back in there was a call of a perimeter breach and the command room became a flurry of activity. The blaring klaxons couldn't drown out the lightning and thunder heard overhead and Amy shivered.

Before she knew it, Coulson was entering the command center demanding to know what was going on. He walked towards her after being filled in by Sitwell and held up a handheld radio. "Barton? Talk to me," he ordered into the radio. Coulson motioned Amy to follow him as he moved through the room heading deeper into the site towards the center of the crater.

The radio in Coulson's hand crackled. "You want me to slow him down, sir?" Barton asked. "Or are you sending in more guys for him to beat up?"

Amy flipped up the hood of her zip up hoodie and continued on Coulson's heels. "I'll let you know," Coulson answered the other agent. He nodded to the agent next to the door that led into the tunnels and he pulled it open letting them step through before closing it behind them. They made their way through the tunnel system to the crater.

"Better call it, Coulson, 'cause I'm starting to root for this guy," Barton's call came over the radio when they were less than thirty feet from the object. Amy wasn't completely sure what was going on but she stayed back from the railing though Coulson stepped up to it. Amy looked towards the object through the rain and saw it looked like a hammer. There was a man standing near it, presumably the one who had caused the breach but he had his back to them so Amy wasn't sure what he looked like other than he was blonde, broad-shouldered, and reminded her of Patrick Swayze from the movie Point Break. "Last chance, sir," Barton warned.

"Wait, I want to see this," Coulson answered.

The man wrapped his hand around the handle of the hammer and struggled to lift it, much like the people from that morning. Then he tried with both hands to the same result. This time when it didn't work he stared down at his hands before turning his face skyward and screaming. It sorta sounded like he was asking why. He sank to his knees and bowed his head. It was heart-breaking to watch. After a moment or two, Coulson sent the ground units in and the man was arrested without any resistance. As they followed the men leading the prisoner back towards the command room where there was a holding room, Amy kept by Coulson's side. "Let me talk to him, please," Amy said softly.

"You're not ready," Coulson said.

"There isn't a person alive that I've tried to get inside their head and haven't been able to have their entire life laid bare for me in five minutes. Please, let me try. There's no harm in trying."

"No."

"I know you're going to try and I know that you always get them to talk but let me try first and if it doesn't work I will admit defeat and let the master work." This time Coulson didn't answer her. "Is that a yes?"

"No."

"But it wasn't a no." Any answer Coulson would give was cut off by Sitwell. Coulson motioned to an empty chair and Amy plopped down into it as the agents sat the man down in the holding cell. It had solid walls on two sides and the other two were made up completely of one way mirrors, transparent if viewed from the control room but reflective from inside the cell. The man sat on a chair inside the cell, his back resting gently against the back of the chair showing the entire control room his profile. They let him sit for a bit, Amy knew Coulson was letting him stew, typically a great way to soften the subject up to talk, at least according to her text book as she had never actually seen an interrogation, then Coulson stepped into the room.

Amy stood up and stepped over next to the agent running the audio and video for the interview. She kept her eyes trained on the actual holding cell though she could get a better look at the man's face if she checked the camera feed and listened as Coulson summed up the man's actions and then tried to get him to tell him where he was trained or who hired him but it wasn't until Coulson finally asked _"Who are you?"_ that the man even looked up. He still didn't answer though. Coulson promised to find out and then Coulson's pager went off. Coulson pulled it from his pocket and looked at it before putting it back. "Don't go anywhere," Coulson said and exited the room. As the door began to slide shut behind him, Coulson caught it with a hand. He looked at Amy suspiciously then jerked his eyes towards the room giving her her shot.

As Amy passed the technician, she ran the back of her fingers along his arm almost in an accidental brush but really she was using her mind to get him to turn the audio off. She wasn't sure how much of the conversation she wanted on the record. She could feel general impressions coming from the man in the room but something was different about his mind. She wanted to find out what. Amy slipped into the room, keeping her hood up partially obscuring her face and slowly crossed the room behind the man. As she did, she ran her finger along the back of his chair, where his back and the chair back met, and plunged herself into his mind.

Thousands of images soared across her mind, most in a language she didn't understand but she could see images of the man with the hammer in his hand in the midst of battles and then she heard a name. _"Thor."_ After a moment or two several of the words began to make sense almost as if his mind was translating for her. More images flashed through his mind, and in turn, hers but these were making sense. Images of a golden palace, lush green fields, rooms upon rooms, and a beautiful woman who was smiling at him almost the way a mother smiles at her child. Amy pulled back from his mind and planted herself against the far wall.

"They won't be able to hear us if you keep your voice down. You can call me Kobik. That … hammer out there in the mud, by your reaction to it, I'd say it's yours but for some reason you can't lift it." Another name sprung across his mind, _"Mjolnir"_. She wondered if all men named their weapons as Bucky's favorite gun had a name as did Clint's trusty bow. "We don't mean you any harm, we're just not sure what to do with it and we don't want people getting hurt by it. It would be nice to return it to its proper owner but, thing is, no one who has tried this far can lift it so we're kinda stuck." No reaction. He just continued to stare at the floor in front of him though occasionally he would peek at her out of the corner of his eye so she tried a different track. "You remind me of someone who fights a lot, maybe a warrior, a soldier, something. The way you took down those agents was kinda cool. You must have lots of training for it." Sure enough, images of training with a portly fellow, another blond man, and an Asian crossed his mind. Amy smirked a bit. "You've been to battle. That's good. What's better is learning to lose. Getting knocked flat will do you a world of good. There's always someone better. I bet you haven't been beaten a lot," she said, trying to dig up memories in his mind of defeat. It was difficult but there was one. Images of hundreds of creatures bearing down on him alone on what looked like a frozen wasteland.

"What are you doing?" his voice was soft but stern and she pulled back from his mind shocked. Typically she had be to much more forceful before anyone ever detected her in their mind.

"Trying to get you to say anything," Amy answered softly. She didn't want to give it away unless he had actually discovered her in his mind. "Will you at least tell me your name? Please?" Amy asked softly.

Before he could answer, searing pain spiked across her mind. That had never happened before. She blanched and when it lessened, she looked around. There was a flash of a reflection across from her in the mirror but it was gone before she could understand it and she was still alone with the man in the holding cell. She tried to reach out with her mind to try and detect if there was another mind but she couldn't find one. The man, Thor she supposed, did look up at the mirror in front of him. She focused on that particular spot and got a flash of an impression but it faded as quickly as it came.

"You won't even tell me your name? Agent Coulson is right, we will find out."

Thor glanced at her then back at the mirror in front of him. She pressed into Thor's mind but only got impressions of confusion. Not like he was confused about his name, that she was getting very clearly as Thor, but there was something else bothering him and no matter how hard she pressed she couldn't figure it out. Then there was a new thought, "Go look at the hammer," but it wasn't coming from his mind. It sounded more like a voice in her ear. Amy rubbed her temple and shook the thought away.

"Won't you tell me anything about yourself? Even just one thing?" she asked.

"Go see the hammer!" came again, this time more insistent than the last.

Thor again didn't answer and she wondered if he was pushing her to go because something was about to happen or because it would answer her questions. Next, she wondered if he had figured out she was in his mind and was trying to direct her thoughts to one in particular and away from the others. She had tried that with Clint once. She had entered his mind and tried to be undetectable. She was nearly successful until she realized that no matter what she tried to get him to think of, it just went back to his weapon of choice, a bow and arrow. When she had first started using her powers, she could only see into someone else's mind while she had skin on skin contact with them. With practice it became any physical contact, then with a lot of practice all she needed, like now, was one touch to establish a connection and she could read their mind without any sort of touch. She looked where he was looking and focused hard and there it was. A soft thread of a consciousness but it was there. She just had to focus really hard, harder than she had ever focused before, to grasp the impressions of it. She rubbed her temple again and focused back on Thor.

"You'd like me to go, wouldn't you?" Amy asked. Thor only glanced at her. "Ok, I'll go but he'll be back. Count on it." Amy walked back behind him and brushed a finger along his back. When she did an image of a man appeared standing in the spot Thor was looking at. He looked like any other man, tall, white with dark hair and a pale complexion, dressed in a suit and pea coat not surprisingly in dark colors, varying shades of green if she was honest, and much slimmer than Thor. The minute her finger left Thor's back, however, she couldn't see him anymore. She left the room and made her way back to the 0-8-4. Standing on the platform above it where Coulson had stood maybe half an hour prior, she saw activity below her, mainly men scanning for readings. She wondered what had made her come out here as she knew she wasn't supposed to be. Moments later, the man from the holding cell, the slimmer, dark haired one dressed in green stepped up to the hammer. His mind felt like Thor's as she pressed hard, trying to get a reading. She knew she'd be unable to see his actual thought as she had yet to touch him but some of his basic impressions should come through. She felt almost nothing from him though. The only thing she could pick up on was an emotion she couldn't name. After he tried to lift the hammer and couldn't, both with one hand and then two, he turned, looked at her and smirked then looked skyward and disappeared.

Amy looked around the area but no one seemed to have seen him. "You shouldn't be out here." Amy startled hearing Clint's voice beside her.

"Do you believe we're alone in the universe?" Amy asked, pushing back her hood and looking at him slightly.

"Like little green men? E.T. and aliens?" Clint asked.

"Yeah, like that."

"If they do exist I don't think they'd come here. You?"

"I was ready for little green men or gray or something that looked well, alien, not Mr. Buff-surfer-Norse God in there."

"You're saying he's alien?"

"Look at that thing." She motioned to the hammer. "It's definitely not human. No one's been able to lift it; obviously it has to be alien."

"It's a trick," Clint said.

"Just 'cause you grew up in the circus doesn't mean everything unexplainable is a trick. Anyway, when I was little, your sister-in-law read me stories about the Norse Gods. Odin, Loki, Frigga, Thor, so on and so forth. Thor is what Thursday is named after. The God of Thunder. That man in there really thinks he's the God of Thunder and has memories to back it up. If he really is Thor then that is his hammer and it was forged in the heart of a dying star. It's a singularity."

"You really think that?"

"It's what I saw in his mind."

"Even if he's not from here, he's not a friendly."

"That's what people said about Bucky."

"You can't save every puppy in the pound, even the nicest looking ones may still bite."

"Well as the saying goes: like father like daughter."

Clint sighed but didn't say anymore on the subject. "Are you hungry? I could eat," Clint said. Amy sighed and followed him back to the canteen.


	15. Found

Amy spent the next day two steps behind Coulson which worked in her favor when another spike in activity occurred around midmorning. Energy readings out of nowhere and then they disappear again. Amy paused in the doorway of the command module as Coulson descended the stairs. He stopped next to a car and turned back to look at her.

"Well come on then," he told her.

"Shotgun," she said. Coulson rolled his eyes but let her take the front passenger seat in his car. They drove out to where the readings came from to see some pattern in the dirt that none of them understood. Coulson told them to get someone from linguistics down there to figure out what it meant. Amy saw lightning flash overhead out of the corner of her eye and looked up. The ground began to shake under her as a funnel cloud began to form. She really hoped it wasn't a twister especially since not only had it been a clear day but they were standing in the middle of a flat desert and there was no protection. She followed Coulson and Sitwell's leads and ducked behind a SUV, putting it between her and the funnel cloud. As quickly as it came, it left leaving behind a giant metal creature. To be honest it kinda looked like the Iron Man armor she had seen but shouldn't have, only much more massive. Coulson called for identification only for the thing's face to disappear and fire to come shooting out, destroying six of the eight cars. Then it turned and headed for the town.

"Portland, wait here for the cleanup team," Coulson barked at her. Then he split the rest of the team in half, three went with him towards the town, the rest headed back for the command site where cleanup could be ordered. Amy plopped down when the two working cars were out of sight, pressed her back to one of the cars now laying on its side, and plugged in her iPod. She turned the music up loud, drowning out any sound coming from the town knowing it was going to take SHIELD a while to get the clean-up crew out to her. A few songs into her playlist there was another lightning strike that flashed from above her towards town but Amy slammed her eyes shut and turned the music up louder, drowning out all the surrounding noise.

She felt more than saw the world go still around her and opened her eyes again hoping that SHIELD was headed her way. She wasn't surprised when SHIELD wasn't the first car to roll out to her. Instead it was that scientist's van. She pulled her headphones off to see the scientist, the older scientist, Darcy, Thor in a new uniform, one she had seen in his mind, and four others. They looked familiar but it took a moment for her to put it together. She had seen them in Thor's mind, training with him. He began screaming a name to the heavens and eventually a twister began to form. No one other than Amy looked surprised. She scrambled to her feet and stared at it in shock. When it disappeared Thor and his friends were gone and only the two scientists and Darcy remained.

Amy trudged to them. "What was that?" Amy asked. Both the scientists ignored her though and stared at the sky.

"A rainbow bridge called the bifrost. I thought all scientists knew everything," Darcy told her skeptically.

"I'm more of a people person. Science goes right over my head." Amy shrugged. "Bifrost? Rainbow Bridge? That's real? Oh dear God." Amy shook her head. "So he really was from another planet? Simple observation and I get stuck with aliens. Okay then." They watched the sky for a while longer but the clouds settled and cleared out. Soon a few wreckers appeared over the horizon and hauled away the wreckage caused by the big metal thing. One also gave her a lift back to base where people were packing up. She found Coulson directing everything. "He's gone," she said softly.

"I figured as much. Did you get anything from him?"

"It'll all be in the report." Coulson only continued to watch her. "He's ..." she trailed off trying to find the right words. "Alien," she finally settled on. "From a planet, though he calls it Realm, called Asgard. And yes, he's exactly that Thor from legend. The 0-8-4, object-highly-dangerous, is his hammer."

"You really think so?"

"He does, and has memories to back it up. Talk to that scientist—"

"Doctor Foster?"

"Yeah, her. I'm sure she'll confirm it." Coulson sent her to help clean up then once back at headquarters he walked her through filling out the paperwork for her report.

* * *

It started like any other weekend, relaxing on the couch with her grandparents until her grandmother stood. She told Amy and Tim she was going to the store and when she came back she wanted the living room not only cleaned up and swept but also rearranged. "How exactly would you like me to do that?" Dugan asked. Since one wall housed the fireplace and the left adjoining wall housed a massive bookcase it was hard to figure a new layout for the living room furniture other than one couch across from each.

"Easy. Put the love seat where the couch is now across from the fireplace with the TV above the fireplace, put the couch in front of the bookcase with enough room to walk between the two and put the chair caddy corner to the loveseat," Amy answered.

"Absolutely right dear, next time just don't read my mind to get your answer," Grace said.

"Sorry, Gammie." Grace kissed the top of Amy's head then left them to get to work.

"Okay, help me, kid," Dugan said, standing.

"I think we should probably clean up this first."

"We? Last time I checked that was your breakfast and lunch mess."

Amy gave him a puppy dog pout but he held firm.

"I raised you, that's not effective on me anymore and don't even use your powers on me, missy. You know better. You're 20 years old, no acting like a little kid."

"I never see my parents anymore or Bucky, I still haven't found my soulmate, who else is supposed to spoil me?"

Dugan stared at her. This was the first time she had mentioned the word "soulmate" or even broached the topic since Clint had told him she had asked Barney. He also noticed she used the singular version of the word. "Being spoiled is a bad thing, sweetheart," he answered her. "Your Gran and I show you how much we love you every day without spoiling you. If it doesn't come across clearly then let us know and we'll remind you."

"I love you too, Pop."

"Come on; grab the dishes before your Gran gets back." Amy grinned and helped her grandfather clean up. They had just sat back down after completing their work when there was a knock at the door. Amy slid a knife from between the couch cushions and stood. "Knives are not Easter eggs, stop hiding them in my couch!" Dugan scolded.

"Relax, it's sheathed, you can't get hurt." Dugan only glared at her. "Don't worry, I got it," she said as she stuck the dagger in her back pocket and made her way to the door. Dugan wasn't sure if she was talking about the door or about the knives, he hoped both. He waited for her to come back but she called out to him first. "Pop, Bucky's here."

"Invite him in," Dugan answered, ignoring the fact that he hadn't seen the man in person in four years and hadn't expected to see him for at least another couple of months.

They entered the living room and Dugan instantly stood up. Bucky looked completely out of it as Amy pulled him along. She sat him down in the chair and Dugan got really worried. Even more so when he started rubbing his right arm. Dugan looked him over top to bottom. His skin had a new tan to it and he looked healthier. Dugan could also see that the man had a new arm and shorter hair. 

"Sarge? Are you alright?" Dugan asked. "Talk to me."

"They found him," Bucky answered, staring at the floor.

"That's all he's been saying. He won't even tell me who 'he' is. I didn't want to pry," Amy said softly, kneeling at Bucky's feet.

"Found who, Sarge?" Dugan pressed, stepping closer to the man.

"Steve," Bucky uttered.

"Steve? Steve who?" Amy asked.

"Cap?" Dugan asked. "That's not possible. You mean his plane, right? He went down in '45. There's no way he could have survived that."

"There'd still be a body though, right? I mean if they found it and it's on the ocean floor then part of him would still be intact? At least a skeleton. But how did they find him? No one was really looking. At least not that I know of. Everything with that program was filed inactive within five years of the war. The world moved on," Amy said. She rubbed her hand across his thigh in what she hoped was a comforting move.

"He crashed in the arctic. Must have been a storm or something that shifted the landscape up there. A Russian oil tanker spotted it four or so days ago. They called their contacts. Eventually word got back to SHIELD. He's in a SHIELD recovery room in New York City. He's in a coma but," Bucky looked up at Dugan. "Steve is alive." Even his face looked healthier. The last time Dugan had seen his old friend he still looked lost and broken. However, now that he was getting a better look at his friend, Dugan could tell Bucky had found a part of himself while he had been gone and though he looked shaken at the news his best friend was now alive, he still looked better.

"Alive? How?" Dugan asked in disbelief.

"The serum. Has to be," Amy said. She put it together in her head before speaking. "He crashed in the arctic. Cold water and snow, there's a chance it froze over everything and with the serum in his blood, it must have put him into some sort of cryostasis, like Hydra did to Bucky," Amy said.

"They always had some sort of drug they shot me full of before putting me back in cryo. Sedative and something else," Bucky said. "Steve didn't have that. He shouldn't—"

"From what I understand the serum you got from Zola in that prison camp and then afterwards while they had you, wasn't the same as the serum that Erskine gave Cap. Zola had to practically rebuild it from Schmidt's DNA. If Cap got the pure form from the man himself then it's possible he didn't need a cocktail of drugs to keep him alive under the ice and the serum itself did the job. Cells dying and replicating at four times the normal rate could do it," Amy said.

"Have you seen him?" Dugan asked Bucky gently.

"Fury won't let me. I asked when I heard the news from the King, but Fury said it's best to let him adjust to the differences before rushing into anything," Bucky answered.

"Fury's got a point," Dugan said. Both Amy and Bucky glared at him. Dugan backed up a little. "The last time you saw Steve, that he saw you, was when he watched you fall from the train in the Alps almost 67 years ago. For you that's a long time and you've learned to adjust to that. Worked through it, for Steve it's more like a few weeks ago."

Amy sighed. She hated agreeing with her grandfather over Bucky but he did have a point. "Pop is right. Imagine it. You just saw your best friend fall to his death and then a few weeks later he's there in front of you, longer hair and a beard, but your best friend none-the-less. You'll expect him to act just like he did the last time you saw him. Give him space and time to work through everything. You're not the same man you were in '45; Steve will need time to reconcile that."

"You're right. Fury has this mission anyway. I'll be gone for two weeks. Maybe when I come back, it'll be a better time," Bucky agreed.

"Yeah, maybe," Amy said. Little did Bucky know, two weeks later would not be a good time to reconcile with his old friend.

Amy and Bucky spent the night of his return talking about most of his time in Wakanda and Amy finally brought up something that had been bothering her. "Is that a new arm?" Amy asked.

"It is. The other one got damaged in a mission shortly after I left here, I ran a mission before I went to Wakanda, and Tony Stark built a new one. It's removable so when I went into cryo they took it off. The King's scientists offered to build me one a few months ago but if it isn't broken ..." he trailed off.

"Does it hurt less?"

"Yeah, I barely feel it other than the phantom pains from the old one. It weighs less too, so I'm less off balance but it throws me off from time to time since my body is used to compensating for the other weight."

"Do you still get nightmares?"

"Occasionally but the doctors really helped me work through them."

"I'm glad you're back."

"Me too."

Bucky left the next morning and Clint showed up a week later. "Grab your gear," he said when she opened the door for him.

"Huh?" Amy asked.

"Mission, Mojave Desert."

"Which part? It crosses four states."

"California, providing security for a couple scientists."

"Scientists? Come on. I thought it would be more exciting. Bucky and Barney tell me all about the times where they're butt-kicking and lifesaving but all I get is following suits and escorting scientists. I feel like a glorified babysitter."

"It's always like that the first couple of years."

"I've been with SHIELD for two years and all I've had is two missions. I thought it'd be more than this."

"It will be, give it time. More often than not it's sitting around waiting for something to happen. I know, trust me, I know," Clint told her.

Amy packed up and said goodbye to her grandparents then climbed into the car with Clint. "If we run into aliens in the desert again, I'm quitting SHIELD. One can only take so many aliens."

"You'll be fine," Clint told her. As they drove to the airport to catch their ride, Clint handed her a file marked _'Confidential.'_ "What do you know about Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S.?" he asked.

"P.E.G.A.S.U.S.? Like Hercules's horse? Not much. It had something to do with uh ..." Amy thought hard not prying into Clint's mind. "Dark matter research, right?"

"No. The project was a joint venture between SHIELD, the U.S. Air Force, and NASA."

"The National Aeronautics Space Association?"

"Administration. And I'm sure you forgot an 'and' in there. Anyway, yes. P.E.G.A.S.U.S. was created by Howard Stark after they recovered something from the ocean. It was shut down in '89 but recently reactivated because of New Mexico."

"New Mexico was a year ago," Amy said, flipping the file open to gather information from it. "What did they recover from the ocean?"

"Above our pay grades."

"So, whatever they're studying out there is what we're supposed to be protecting?"

"Exactly."

"And you have no idea what it is?"

"Like I said, above our pay grades," Clint told her. Amy shook her head and read the rest of the file.

"This doesn't say either, just that there is a study on energy and its impact on our future," Amy explained.

"I see." It was quiet until Amy and Clint pulled up at the site. They met Fury in the lobby and followed him into the bowels of the building. Amy took a quick look over the area but didn't see anything that could be creating energy. "Sir," Clint said.

"The two of you are being assigned to protect this site and the object. You are to stay here until otherwise informed by me and me alone. Understand?" Fury asked.

"Understood," they both answered. He nodded and led them up a flight of stairs into what looked like a missile silo. Amy noticed there was something set up in the middle, like a platform that led down to a big circular device in the middle of the floor and there were several computer stations further away from them. An older man walked over and nodded to them.

"Agents this is Doctor Erik Selvig, he is the lead on this project. Doctor, this is Agent Barton," Fury said, motioning to Clint, "and Agent Portland."

"I've seen you before," Selvig said.

"Don't think you have," Clint said. Selvig looked from Clint to Amy.

"I know I have," Selvig answered.

Out of nowhere, massive pain shot through Amy's brain. She pressed both hands to her temples and groaned in pain. "Amy?" Clint asked.

"Agent Portland?" Fury asked.

"God, that hurts," Amy cried. Clint rested a hand on her shoulder. She whimpered and whined, curling in on herself like a kicked dog and the pain vanished. She shook it off and looked back at the doctor. There was something in his mind that didn't feel right but she couldn't put a finger on it. She hadn't felt that kind of pain before in her life. It was strange, especially since she hadn't touched him and couldn't read his mind.

"Are you alright?" Selvig asked.

"Uh, yeah. We have met before. In the desert just after Thor left just over a year ago," Amy said, giving him a soft smile. "How are Dr. Foster and Darcy?"

"Fine," Selvig said.

"They are here for your protection," Fury said. He looked between the pair then pressed on.

Amy looked around the room avoiding the doctor's eyes and saw what was in the direct middle of the room. "No. Absolutely not. Don't you dare tell me that is what I think it is," Amy answered. She spun and glared at Fury. "That is not the Tesseract."

"Agent Portland, now is not the time," Fury answered.

"You know what the Tesseract is?" Selvig asked.

"In 1942 a man named Johan Schmidt raided a church in Tonsberg, Norway for a glowing blue box that had been buried there for almost 1000 years. According to myth, Asgardians left it here after their battle with the Frost Giants. Something about traveling through space. Anyway, Schmidt found it then proceeded to change the face of the second World War. Hydra had control of that and used it to create weapons. When used against American troops, it decimated our forces. One minute your battle buddy is right next to you and the next he's gone. Poof. No body, no bones, no boots, no dog tags, just gone. It still gives my grandfather nightmares. Do you know how Hydra sold that to Hitler? Untapped power. You shouldn't be messing with things you don't understand."

"Agent Portland—" Fury started.

"Give us a second," Clint said. He pulled Amy a few steps away. "I know this is upsetting and you don't like what that thing is capable of, but SHIELD won't use it like that. We don't even know what they plan for it. You're tired of the sidelines but if you don't back down, that's the only place you're going to be."

"But—"

"No. Back down and wait. Wait and observe. If it starts going south then you can interfere but wait; they may do right with this."

"There is no right with this. The only right was giving it back to the Asgardians and getting it off our planet."

"I know you're worried but for me, can you please, keep a lid on it?" Clint asked.

"Fine," Amy agreed. She shifted uncomfortably when a spike of pain ran through her.

"What is going on?" Clint asked.

"I don't know, there's a presence. I felt it in New Mexico. It feels different than I've ever felt before and sometimes it hurts. Almost like hitting a brick wall."

"Do you think it's possible there's someone here you can't see that's keeping you out of their mind? Every time you try to slip into it unconsciously it causes pain."

"I guess it's possible. I mean Thor was capable of creating lightning, who knows what else the Asgardians are capable or any other alien for that matter."

"You good? Are you good because I need to know? If you can't, I'll fix it, but I need to know." Amy took a few deep breaths and Clint rubbed her shoulder. "Ames, talk to me, please."

She sighed heavily. "I'm okay. I can do this. Maybe using it for good will make things better," Amy said.

"So we're good?" Clint asked.

"Yeah," Amy agreed. They walked back to Fury and Selvig and the pain spiked for a moment before dying out. "We're good," Amy said.

Fury stared at her for a moment then nodded. "Alright then. Update me if things change," Fury said. Clint nodded.

* * *


	16. Budding Team

* * *

Over the next week, Amy saw nothing of concern with either the scientists, anyone entering the building, or the Tesseract. Not until one day when Clint was getting lunch and Selvig was out of the room. Amy was leaning against a computer terminal staring at the Tesseract when it lit up. "That's not supposed to happen," one of the scientists said. The scientist moved to a computer and began typing at it while Amy moved across the room as she heard her name softly being called from the Tesseract. She moved within two feet of the rig the Tesseract was bolted into and a stream came out of the cube. Amy threw up her left hand almost to protect herself and the stream hit in the dead center of her palm. She jerked her hand back, clutching it with her other hand. She whimpered softly as she rubbed the spot with the thumb of her other hand.

"Agent Portland!" a voice snapped behind her. She spun around still rubbing her hand. There she saw Coulson.

"Sorry," she instantly apologized. "I thought I heard ..." Amy shook her head, still rubbing her hand.

"You're here to observe, not interact," Coulson scolded.

"Yes, sir."

"Agent Coulson, we're getting readings from the cube. This shouldn't be happening," the lady scientist called.

"Where is Doctor Selvig?" Coulson asked.

"Don't know. He left the room about 10 minutes or so ago," Amy answered.

"Find him; get him in here." Coulson ordered. Amy nodded and reached out for Selvig's mind. When that only caused her pain, she went to find him physically. He was just coming back from getting coffee. He rushed into the room and tried to shut it down. It worked for about ten minutes then it spiked again. Again they shut it down but it was like it grew a mind of its own and spiked again. Every time they tried to shut it down or reign in the power surges, it just acted on its own accord. After about two hours of trying, Coulson ordered an Evac of the entire campus but ordered the scientists and both agents, Clint had returned as well, to stay until they figured it out or Fury arrived, whichever happened first. With Amy keeping a close eye on both the scientists and the Tesseract from ground level, Clint was free to return to what the other agents and a select few of the scientists had referred to as his nest. Essentially, up in the corner of the cat walk above the area. Amy would have joined him but it was an awfully far way up.

Two hours later, Amy stepped out of the room using the stairs to the right of the rig to use the bathroom and when she returned the room was silent. Her eyes traced the room from the staircase and saw it looked like someone had attacked. She could see a few people moving so she knew they weren't dead, probably just unconscious but then her eyes landed on the man moving across the room.

"You!" she cried. She had seen him before but wasn't sure where.

"Me. I could use you," he answered, crossing the room towards her as the others tried to recover.

She frantically searched her mind to place him. Then it hit her. "I've seen you before. New Mexico, I think. You tried ... Thor's mind in the holding cell," Amy said. The man moved his scepter toward her chest but she grabbed it with her left hand as her right flew up and cupped his jaw. His eyes locked on hers in shock as her palm pressed against the jewel in the scepter and suddenly his entire mind was on display for her. Thousands of memories, a lot that overlapped with Thor's, but the most recent ones caught her attention. She realized what he was there for, the plan to get it, his plan to maybe stop it. However, unlike usual when she was reading minds, his memories weren't the only ones on display. Several of her memories were interspersed through his. That was most definitely odd.

She shoved him away and saw that only a few seconds had passed even though she couldn't have seen all his memories in that short amount of time. "Mind control: been there, done that, got expert certified. You don't need me." The man stared at her for a second before moving on to Clint who was the first back on his feet. Before Clint could draw his gun and aim it properly, the man had switched which hand the scepter was in, caught Clint's hand with his right, and used the scepter on Clint. It glowed blue as the man pressed it to Clint's chest and after a moment, Clint slid the pistol back into his holster and stood as if waiting for orders. She watched as the man spun, and pressed his scepter to another agent's chest. That agent too relaxed as though the man wielding the scepter was no longer a threat.

"Please don't," the man said, turning to look at Fury who Amy now noticed was standing just past the Tesseract's rig, which was missing the Tesseract. Fury did have a briefcase in his hand, which is where the cube probably disappeared to and he looked ready to run. "I still need that."

"This doesn't have to get any messier," Fury said over his shoulder. It kinda looked like he was trying to flee. Amy didn't really blame him.

"Of course it does. I've come too far for anything else." Fury turned completely around at that. "I am Loki, of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose," he said. Amy shrugged as it made sense.

"Loki, brother of Thor?" Selvig asked, climbing to his feet. That also made sense, not just with legend she had been reading up on over the past year but with the memories. In a lot of them, Thor and his friends had treated Loki like an annoying younger brother they had to take with them.

"We have no quarrel with your people," Fury said.

"An ant has no quarrel with a boot," Loki responded.

"You planning to step on us?" Fury asked. Amy stifled a laugh.

Loki and Fury continued to go back and forth as Amy looked down at her left hand that was starting to sting, but she kept an ear on the conversation. Her hand had been doing that off and on since its interaction with the Tesseract over four hours ago, though typically only when the Tesseract's energy reading spiked. Amy rubbed her hand with her thumb again as Agent Barton addressed Loki for the first time telling him that Fury was stalling and meant to bury them. Amy understood that sometimes that was part of the job, better to sacrifice yourself and take out the enemy as well than walk away and chance them getting away. There was a gunshot and Fury dropped backwards, dropping the briefcase. Loki and Amy both moved to Fury, with Clint, Selvig, and the other agent following. Loki just walked right passed; Clint picked up the case and handed it to Selvig as the foursome continued on. Amy dropped next to Fury and found the bullet lodged in his bulletproof vest.

"Sir?" Amy asked.

"I'm fine. We need to go." He picked up his radio and called Hill letting her know what was going on; ordering her to shut them down. "Go, go." He ordered Amy. They both tore through the compound at full speed. "To the chopper, let's go." Fury said as they raced up the stairs. Amy had never run so fast in her life despite occasionally running with Bucky. He pushed her into the chopper then climbed in after her. It took off the moment they were safely inside and the moment it did, the ground and landing pad broke under them. Amy scrambled into a seat and slammed her eyes closed knowing the helicopter was going up higher than she liked to go. She couldn't explain it, she just knew she was on edge every time she was higher than about 30 or so feet.

It was a strange feeling when about five minutes later the helicopter spun out of control then crash landed back on the ground. She and the pilot climbed out and Fury radioed to Hill and Coulson about the briefcase, subsequently issuing a Level Seven. Essentially meaning they were at war.

They boarded a Quinjet where they met up with Coulson and Hill where they were taken to the helicarrier. Landing on the carrier was a little different than landing on land, but soon the back door dropped open and she, Fury, Coulson, and Hill were met by two agents decked out in full gear to include two assault style rifles. The agents' thoughts instantly bombarded her mind. The one to her left was sizing her up in disbelief but the one on the right stared in shock.

 _'This is the hostile? She's so little and non-threatening. I hate orders like this. No background, no time to prepare. Okay, Jeff, suck it up, the Director is watching.'_ Amy was so shocked by the fact that she heard their thoughts, she didn't notice they had handcuffed her were holding her between them until Fury spoke.

"Lock her down. No visitors and ignore her voice," Fury ordered.

"You're throwing me in the brig? I didn't do anything wrong," Amy questioned.

"We don't know what he did to you. Until I'm sure, you're confined to quarters."

"He didn't do anything to me. You can't manipulate a telepath," Amy protested.

"He did something to you. You haven't stopped rubbing that hand since he appeared." Even with her hands behind her back, she was still rubbing her thumb against her palm.

"I wasn't in the room when he appeared. I'm not a kid anymore. Don't send me to my room. Let me find Clint."

"No. Take her. You let her or convince yourself to do anything other than lock her in her room, you'll both be on KP duty for a month."

"Understood." Both guards answered. Amy put up no fuss as they took her inside. Mostly because the ship sat a few stories above the ocean but also partly because it was sinking in that she had heard the agents' thoughts without touching either of them. Once in her room, they released the handcuffs and stripped her of her dagger, and then shut the door behind her. At first, she was angry, how could they do this to her, but then she sank on the bed realizing she'd be just as cautious if she had been in Fury shoes. She plopped down on the bed and plugged in her iPod. Three songs later she heard Bucky's voice.

_"Hey, Kobik. If you're hearing this, that means you've reached the end of the playlist. It's probably taken you awhile to get here and that's good. I tried to include every song I could remember liking from my childhood as well as all your favorites. At least that way there would always be a song on here that would speak to you in one way or another, from your happiest highs to your saddest lows. I promise you that there will always be someone on this planet who cares for you and will have your back. You have my number if you need anything. Don't be hesitant to call me."_

The recording went quiet and then after a moment the playlist started again. Amy shut it off and stuffed it back in her pocket. She lay back on her bed as thoughts began to filter in. It didn't take her long to realize that they weren't her thoughts; they were coming from agents across the ship. She closed her eyes and focused and could pick out several people she recognized: Fury, Hill, Coulson, the agents outside the door and so on but then she picked up thoughts from people that she didn't recognize. Most of the thoughts were about doing their job, some were steering the helicarrier, others checking inventory, and some even waiting for something to happen, but some of the thoughts were more in depth. 

She followed one thought about what had happened at the P.E.G.A.S.U.S. base which led to thoughts of family and how dangerous the world was which led to thoughts of whether or not they should be working for SHIELD. Amy focused really hard and realized that she was inside the mind of an agent on the bridge she had never met. The images he had pictured of his family when thinking about them weren't familiar to Amy and when she focused on him picturing himself she hadn't seen this man before. She pulled back from his thoughts and wondered if something about Loki had broadened her powers. She should still need physical contact with someone to connect with their mind the first time and now here she was reading a mind clear across the ship of someone she hadn't even met in person before. The longer she thought about it, the more she realized that she was hearing thoughts from a lot more people that she didn't recognize so she let her mind focus in on one mind in particular, Agent Coulson's. Clint had once compared her powers to a radio. That when out of focus, the thousands of thoughts were like the white noise or static between the stations but when she focused in, it was like turning the radio to one specific channel and having it come through clearly.

She stayed in Coulson's mind right up until she realized that he was in New York talking to Tony Stark. Amy pulled back sharply. The helicarrier was parked in the Atlantic Ocean just off of D.C. There should have been no way she could read his mind if he was that far away. Instead of searching Tony's mind to prove the location, which would be no problem since she had already been in his mind in person during her first Christmas back from Hydra, she wondered how far she could go and searched her mental radio for Bucky's mind. Sure enough she found him. She didn't push for a location or mission details; she just waited for an opportune moment to reach out to him. Time passed and soon he was flipping back on a hotel bed as his partner was taking a shower.

 _'Bucky?_ _Soldat, can you hear me?'_ she asked in his head.

"Kobik?"

_'I'm in your head. Something happened and I can hear you from the Atlantic. Something major is going on. I need you on the carrier.'_

_'The carrier?'_

_'SHIELD'S helicarrier. Please,_ _Soldat, I need your help.'_

_'Any info you can give me?'_

_'_ _Barton's been compromised.'_

 _'_ _Okay. I'll be there soon.'_

Hours later, Amy felt Bucky's thoughts turn to landing on the helicarrier then turned to finding her.

 _'Wish I could tell you where I am but I can't focus. I can hear arguing in my head. Sounds like the Director, maybe in one of the labs. I hear Tony there too,'_ Amy told him.

 _'Got it,'_ Bucky answered.

Amy was cued into something terrible about 15 minutes later when she heard Clint's thoughts. They weren't fully formed sentences but there was enough there to know his intentions weren't good. _'Buck, we got company. Something's going on,_ ' Amy told him.

_'Clarify.'_

_'Not sure. Barton's here, lining up for some kind of shot but not sure what for.'_

Bucky made his way to the labs but didn't hear the arguing Amy had warned him of. Instead he heard the end of a story and spotted Dr. Bruce Banner holding some kind of scepter.

"Doctor Banner, put down the scepter." Bucky recognized that voice. He tried not to roll his eyes. Of course SHIELD would bring his old friend on this. That had to mean things were getting really bad. He stepped up to the doorway and saw six people in the lab. Most he recognized, one he didn't. Dr. Banner was indeed holding some kind of scepter while Steve Rogers in his full on Captain America get up, Tony Stark, the director, Natasha Romanoff in her catsuit, and some blonde he had never met before in some kind of armor stood watching. Then a computer beeped and Doctor Banner moved across the room.

"Sorry, kids, you don't get to see my party trick after all," Banner said.

"You located the Tesseract?" the blonde man asked. Bucky had heard that word before but wasn't sure where so he searched his memories. He was pulled out his mind when he heard an "Oh my God" from Banner and then a ' _Brace for impact'_ in his ear in Amy's voice. He could only follow directions and dig his metal fingers into the doorway with no time to warn the rest of them before the carrier was rocked by an explosion.

Amy wrapped her fingers around the bolted down desk when she heard Clint's thought _'And Boom,'_ he thought. Only seconds later the room swayed and panic swept through the ship.

Then she heard another voice in her mind. _'Ah, I see my team has arrived. Join me on the flight deck so we can have that conversation?'_

Loki. Of course. He had only allowed himself to be caught to create tension in Fury's budding team before heading to New York to open the portal and watch his plan come to fruition. Amy thought it over. She really didn't want to leave without Bucky but she knew that if she went with him she could possibly prevent him from going too far. _'Fine,'_ she answered him. She thought hard and convinced the two outside the door that it was more important for them to help stabilize the ship and take down Loki's team than to keep guard of her. When that didn't work she made them think they had heard Fury's voice ordering them to their stations but to leave Amy's dagger on the floor. Amy loved that dagger. It had been a gift from Falsworth to her grandfather in the sixties and he had gifted it to her on her graduation from SHIELD training. Her grandparents hadn't been happy about her joining but she had passed at nearly the top of every class so they hadn't protested too much.

Now that the agents were gone, Amy opened the door, flipped up the hood of her hoodie, scooped up her dagger, and made her way to the flight deck. About halfway there the ship tilted and Amy could hear Clint's thoughts about taking out another engine. The two remaining engines stabilized the ship after a moment but Amy could tell it was still sinking out of the sky. Getting to the flight deck door was simple. Everyone was in too much of a hurry or panic about the hostiles to try and stop her but the minute she would step out onto the flight deck her fear of heights would kick in and she'd be frozen in her tracks. Then there was the fact that they were thousands of feet up making it next to impossible for her to breathe without some form of respirator. As she was debating this, she felt someone move behind her.

"Having second thoughts?" he asked.

"No," she answered stubbornly. "Just wondering if you've considered my tiny, mortal lungs can't compensate for the thin air."

"It is less than 20000 feet, I assure you, you will not die in the five minutes it will take to get to the aeroplanes and have it pressurized."

"I don't know about that. Loki—" Amy stopped herself from criticizing him.

"Take my hand." He switched the scepter to his left hand and offered her the right. She swallowed but took it then hit the airlock release button causing the door to slide open. Sure enough, she had no problem breathing as they crossed the flight deck and boarded the waiting Quinjet. It took off the moment they were seated and headed exactly where she suspected the final showdown would take place: New York City. She let go of his hand as she strapped herself into a seat and her hand began to sting again so she rubbed at it.

"What did the Tesseract do to me?" Amy asked.

"Pardon?" Loki asked.

"My hand. Ever since about four hours before you arrived in California, when the Tesseract lit up for the first time my hand has been stinging off and on. I didn't touch it, but it's kinda like it reached out and touched me." Loki put his hand out and Amy slid her hand into his. He ran his thumb over her palm and looked at it closely.

"There appears to be nothing here. Perhaps it is in your mind."

"Perhaps." Amy withdrew her hand and rubbed at it. Loki watched her but didn't move to comfort her.

Amy sank back into her thoughts and heard Bucky in a panic. He was looking for her but she wasn't sure if she wanted to answer him. She wasn't sure where he'd stand on the issue without all the facts. She focused in on his thoughts and for a moment, it almost felt like she was standing on the ship next to him. She watched as he searched the ship bow to stern and top to bottom coming up empty.

Bucky stopped at an infirmary door when he spotted Nat and Clint inside. He hit the door release and poked his head inside. "He okay?" Bucky asked, seeing Clint strapped to the bed.

"He will be. What's wrong?" Natasha asked. She had that look in her eye again. The one that said she knew he was about to panic and was out of sorts. He felt a little uncomfortable but Nat knew everything so he asked.

"Kobik, I can't find her. She was here but I've searched the entire ship and she's not answering."

"I'm sure she's here. It's a big ship."

"You better be right. What happened?"

"Monsters and magic and stuff we weren't trained for," Nat explained.

"I see. Have you seen Fury?"

"Not since the explosion."

"Thanks." He let the door slide shut and made his way to the bridge asking everyone he passed if they had seen Amy and each time he got the same answer, a resounding no. Finally, he made it to the bridge and just as Tony stalked away from the table. Fury was standing next to the table and Steve was staring at his hands, or maybe something in them, Bucky couldn't tell. Fury went quiet and turned to look at Bucky. His face instantly clouded over. He quickly made his way over to Bucky and the soldier knew he was in for it.

* * *

[Click Here](https://www.thewrap.com/marvel-cinematic-universe-complete-timeline/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say, because I hadn't before, the site I use for the Timeline is the one above from The Wrap. I know that Disney+ just updated their queue to what should be official but this one has it broken down in real time. I understand their reasoning, yes the first scene in Thor: The Dark Word happens right after Avengers with Loki being punished but there is other evidence that suggests he's been gone for a while. including Jane being upset at him being gone and the post credit scene being that "he was gone for two years last time" which would put The Dark World happening over the span of a few years between Loki's punishment and the convergence. Anyway the link above is the one I use which is why you'll see Thor: The Dark World after Iron Man 3 though we aren't nearly there yet.


	17. Little Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it feels like forever but here's the next part. Thanks for waiting so patiently.

* * *

After Fury finished his speech to the down-trodden captain, he turned and saw a soldier who was supposed to be halfway around the world. "You're not supposed to be here," Fury said.

Normally an answer like that would be enough to push Bucky back from the edge and calm him down but not when it came to the safety of someone he cared about. "Cut the crap, Nick, where is she?" Bucky answered.

"Somewhere safe?" Fury suggested, knowing instantly there was only one person Bucky could be so steamed about.

"And what's safer than on this god forsaken boat?"

"She's here."

"She's not here. I've checked the entire ship and asked around. No one's seen her since yesterday when you locked her in her room."

Fury touched his com and called to the two agents he assigned to her. Both reluctantly admitted getting a little distracted by the hostile team invading the ship. Instead of getting angry he turned to Hill. "Get me any footage we have of Loki's escape."

"Sir, most of our systems were, and are, down," Hill answered.

"Do it," Fury said.

"Yes, sir," Hill answered.

"Bucky?" Steve asked in disbelief, getting up out of his chair. "Buck? I thought you were … dead."

"I thought you were smaller," Bucky answered. He smirked and moved across the room then hugged Steve tight. Even after 70 years, the man looked no different. Those bright blue eyes, light blond hair, and shocked look. It still sent him whirling like he was on the Cyclone.

"How did you …" Steve started, pulling back slightly. Fury hadn't mentioned his friend. For all Steve had known Bucky had died falling from that train and now, here he was in person. He looked so much like his old friend, though true, his hair was longer and he had bulked up a bit, and if Steve wasn't mistaken, something felt different about Bucky's left arm, but he could still see his Bucky in the man. He didn't fail to notice that Bucky had tucked his left hand into his jacket pocket now that Steve was getting a good look at him.

"It's a long story. I promise to fill you in just as soon as we find Kobik," Bucky said.

"Kobik?"

"Amy Portland. She's a friend. Really saved my life." Steve nodded.

"We got her," Hill called, drawing their attention. "Camera from one of the jets on the deck." Bucky and Steve joined Hill and Fury at the computer and watched as Loki and Amy appeared on the flight deck and made their way to a jet that appeared to be waiting for them. Bucky watched in shock as Amy went right along with Loki and not once did she seem to struggle or protest.

"Don't say it," Bucky told Fury. It was obvious what Fury was thinking. That Amy was siding with the bad guy in the scenario and it was of her own free will.

"Wasn't going to, but for what it's worth, there's a chance she knows what's going on better than we do," Fury said. "You are constantly telling me that you can't manipulate a telepath. She is a fully trained agent. And this way, he's still in SHIELD custody. Maybe she'll get a message out and we'll know where he's at."

"We still have to go after her," Bucky said.

"If you can find her," Fury said. He had checked once the video had started to see that the GPS in that jet had been turned off, which made sense if it was the same jet Clint had come in on. Fury didn't like it. While he had gotten several of his agents back in the melee surrounding the attack, he had lost what some had argued were his best two. Coulson had been by Fury's side for the longest time and now Portland who was arguably just as valuable with her mind tricks.

Meanwhile, a soft hand rubbed Amy's shoulder bringing her out of her thoughts. "Come along," Loki said. Amy swallowed as she looked out of the back of the jet to see the landing pad at Stark Tower. They were hovering just above it. Amy took Loki's hand again and he led her inside the Tower. She plopped down on the chair nearest to the fireplace and turned it so it put her back to the massive windows. She could already feel her stomach revolting as the fear of falling set in. It wasn't so much the heights that bothered her just the fact that she could fall. Loki paced in front of her as she played with her sheathed dagger. "Plan on doing something with that?" Loki asked.

"Considering it," Amy answered. "You don't have to do this."

"Don't." Loki warned. She knew he was only protesting because he wasn't alone in his mind. Without being able to privately discuss what was going on, she knew better than to try to change his mind. Loki flicked his fingers at her and smirked.

"What did you just do?" Amy asked. Loki smirked and refused to answer. Amy glanced down and saw her normally dark blue hoodie was now forest green and seemed to be made from some form of leather. "Turn it back."

"Why? This will protect you better."

"It is kinda comfortable and it feels more durable than my old one." She flipped the hood of it up and it dropped across her forehead. She shook her head back and forth and dropped it backwards but the hood stayed in place. "That's kinda cool." She looked down at the hoodie again and sighed. "Just make it blue. Please?"

"The green brings out your eyes."

"Loki, please." The god frowned but waved his hand and the hoodie changed back to its blue hue. Then he stared at her dagger. "You like it?" she asked. "It was a gift from my grandfather. It's come in handy."

"It's only good in close quarters."

"That's all you need to kill someone."

"If you used this, you can kill someone at a distance," Loki said. He ran his hand over the dagger in her hand and it transformed into a sword. She pulled it out of the sheath and admired it.

"Interesting. I remember these from history. It reminds me of Norse swords. Short but dangerous." Though Denier had been the weapon's specialist of the Commandos, seeing Bucky's rifle in pictures had gotten her interested in guns, and then receiving the knife expanded her interest until coming across Thor had interested her in Norse mythology and by extension Norwegian weapons.

"That would describe you as well," Loki answered.

"Thanks. How about you change it back now?" Amy answered.

"Why would I do that?" Loki asked.

"Call me sentimental, but it's more than just a dagger to me."

Loki stared at her for a moment then wrapped a hand around hers on the hilt and sheathed the sword then used his palm to press the bottom of the sheath up towards the hilt. Amy watched in shock as the sword shrank from about two feet back to just over a half a foot. Then he helped her remove the dagger from the sheath. He smirked when she stared in shock at the dagger. "Impressive?" Loki asked.

"That's one word for it," Amy answered. "How did you do that?"

"Magic. It'll do it for you as well now. Press on the end and it will transform." Amy felt the building shake and she gripped the dagger tightly as they both looked up. "That would be the portal opening," Loki said. Loki smirked and Amy concentrated on the thoughts of the others. Tony was above them and the rest of them were coming as well but separately.

"No," she answered Loki. "Tony's here. He attacked the device on the roof. Tried but failed to breach it. It didn't work." Loki rushed out to look up and indeed saw Tony near the building. Tony lowered himself to his landing pad as Loki watched. They both moved inside though through different doors.

"Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity," Loki said.

"You're not human," Amy muttered.

"Uh, actually, I'm planning to threaten you. You okay, kid?" Tony said, first to Loki then to Amy.

"Just peachy," Amy said. _'Don't irritate him, it'll get worse.'_

 _'Who said I'm irritating?_ ' was Tony's instant thought.

"You should have left your armor on to threaten me," Loki said.

"Yeah. It's seen a bit of mileage and you've got the uh, glow-stick of destiny. Would you like a drink?" Tony asked, moving back to the bar.

Loki laughed slightly. "Stalling me won't change anything."

"No, no, threatening. Kid, you old enough to have something?"

"You know how old I am Tony. Just get on with it," Amy said.

"You sure you don't want a drink? I'm having one," Tony said.

Loki turned and walked towards the window. "The Chitauri are coming, nothing will change that." Loki turned back to Tony as Amy continued to stare across the room, trying to block out the fact that she was more than 500 feet up. "What have I to fear?"

"The Avengers," Tony answered. Both Loki and Amy stared at him confused. Tony rolled his eyes as he paused his drink pouring. "That's what we call ourselves. We're sorta like a team. "Earth's Mightiest Heroes"-type thing," Tony explained.

"Yes, I've met them," Loki said.

"Yeah. It takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one, but let's do a head count, here. Your brother, the demigod, two super soldiers, living legends who kinda live up to the legend, a man with breathtaking anger-management issues, a couple of master assassins, and you, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them." Amy noticed Tony didn't mention himself in there or her. Then she realized he mentioned _two_ super soldiers. So that meant he had come across Bucky and since she remembered Bucky looking at Steve onboard the Quinjet it made sense and it meant that Bucky and Steve had met.

"That was the plan," Loki admitted, drawing her attention back to him.

"Not a great plan. When they come, and they will, they'll come for you," Tony said. Amy glanced at him and noticed that now Tony was moving around the bar and down into the living room.

"I have an Army," Loki said.

"We have a Hulk."

"Oh? I thought the beast had wandered off."

Loki was now standing between her and Tony. The latter of which was sipping lightly on what looked like some sort of whiskey. "You're missing the point," Tony said angrily. "There is no throne. There's no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it." He took another sip as Loki approached him.

"How will your friends have time for me when they are so busy fighting you?" Loki asked. Amy glanced at the men again and saw Loki pressing the scepter to Tony's chest. However it didn't seem to have the same effect as it had on Clint and Selvig. "This usually works."

And Tony's snark was back. "Well, performance issues, it's not uncommon. One out of five," Tony said. Loki grabbed him and threw him across the room. Amy suddenly knew Loki was about to throw him out the window. Amy curled up in the chair, burying her face in her knees, trying not to hear possibly Tony's last moments. Next thing Amy saw was one of Tony's suits flying out of an elevator and moments later she heard his voice. "And there's one other person you pissed off. His name was Phil." There was a blast and Loki flew back across the room. Both he and the scepter clattered to the floor. Amy spun to look at Tony and saw his Iron Man suit hovering outside the window, staring at the sky. "Right. Army. Stay put, you're safe here." Before Amy could say anything Tony was flying up. Amy turned away from the window to settle her stomach and saw Loki pushing himself back up.

It hit her what Tony said. _'Phil.'_ She pushed on the end of the sheath and sure enough it turned into a sword. She pulled it out of the sheath discarding it on the couch and crossing to Loki as he was pulling himself up. "What did he mean, Phil? Phil Coulson?" Amy glared at him leveling her new sword at his throat. Loki smirked.

"Well, there is a wolf in there. Minuscule, but there." He used the back of his left forearm to push the sword away. "He brought it on himself, getting in the way." Loki climbed to his feet as Amy frowned. His mind partially agreed with his words but part of him felt bad about it.

"Please, don't tell me you killed him," Amy demanded. Loki only grabbed the scepter and headed out to the landing pad. Amy frowned then closed her eyes and searched for Fury's mind. She found it and searched for information on Coulson. She had to sit down when she found the information. Coulson was indeed dead. She plopped down on the couch and gripped the handle of the sword tightly and tried not to cry. This had gotten way out of hand. There had to be a way she could help put an end to it. She just wasn't sure how. She stood and walked towards the elevator but when she reached the tile that surrounded the living area, a green barrier popped up. She pressed on it with one hand but couldn't get through it. She tried in several spots but it ran the entirety of the circle. She sat back down and tried to think of a way out. When she looked back up, out of the corner of her eye she saw Thor on the balcony. She called out to him. "Thor!" He turned and looked for her. He jumped into the living room and saw her.

"Kobik, correct?" Thor asked.

"Yes." She moved across the room to where the barrier was closest to him. "He killed Coulson," Amy said. "How could he do that?"

"I do not believe he is in full control of himself. We need to get you somewhere safe."

"I can't, there's some form of barrier." She reached up towards him and just before her hand reached the tile, the green barrier sparked across her palm.

"Stand back." Thor told her. She backed away from the barrier and him and he called his hammer. His swing bounced off the barrier as if the hammer was a toy and left no mark.

"It's no use, I think your brother did something," Amy said after two or three blows.

"I will figure something out; I will be back, Lady Kobik."

"It's actually Amelia. Kobik is a nickname." Thor smiled then left. Amy sank back onto the couch but realized that put the skyline back in her sight so she moved back to the chair and stared at the wall. Time seemed to tick by slowly. Amy played with her sword for a while until she got half a second warning that the Hulk was incoming. It was a base thought of _'Loki, window, smash,'_ but it was enough that Amy pulled her head down and braced for impact. A few moments later, the glass shattered, spraying across the room. Loki followed and slammed into the wall beside the couch, dropping to the floor. Amy slowly sat up, gently shaking the glass from the hood. She stood and turned to look when she heard growling and a loud thud from near the window.

"Enough!" Loki yelled. "You are, all of you, beneath me. I am a god, you dull creature. I will not be bullied by a—" whatever else Loki was going to say was cut off when the Hulk moved across the room, grabbed him by the ankle, and bashed him back and forth across the tile. Amy held in a chuckle.

"Puny God," Hulk answered as Loki laid in the tile.

"Nice," Amy said. Then she heard Nat's mind processing Dr. Selvig's words. That the scepter could shut off the portal. She spotted it out on the balcony. "Hulk, can you do me a favor and take that scepter out there up to the roof to Nat? It will close the portal."

"Okay, tiny human." Hulk made his way to the scepter then scaled his way up the side of the building. "Tiny human with tiny sword says you need this," Hulk told Nat, offering her the scepter.

"Thank you." Nat took the scepter and Hulk jumped away to smash more aliens.

Meanwhile back inside, Amy made her way to Loki, slightly surprised that she wasn't restricted by the barrier. He continued to lie on the floor looking beat. She kicked and brushed away the rubble with her foot then knelt beside him. His right hand rested on his chest and she wrapped her right one around it. _Suddenly all noise faded out and they were both standing in a field._

_"How?" Loki asked softly_

_"Welcome to my quiet place. You're in my mind. That titan I saw in your mind, torturing you before he put the scepter in your hands, can't see us here. He wanted all of this. This destruction of a place I call home. It's not cool. I know that you are struggling to be seen, to have your own day in the sun, but you won't get it like this. Not the way you want. You need to rethink your plan. You're about to lose. The World Security Council has launched a missile that Tony Stark is going to relocate to the other side of that portal. It will destroy the Chitauri and delay what he wants to happen. Like Tony told you, there is no upside for you."_

_"This upside means that I've created a force that will become unshakeable in the following years, readying you planet for a higher form of war. When he comes, and he will come, Little Wolf, perhaps this waste of space planet will be ready and will stop him or at the very least slow him down."_

_"Interesting thought. Do you believe we can face him and win?"_

_"Your team has done better than I predicted against the Chitauri."_

_"That is true. Not bad for their first time out as a team." Amy watched him for a moment or two before taking a deep breath. "Your brother cares deeply for you. Despite your dislike for the large shadow he casts and you doing everything you can to embarrass and humiliate him, he still cares for you. In fact, I'd say you're his favorite."_

_"He deserves everything he gets."_

_"I suppose. Us humans have a saying_ 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.' _Essentially it means the family you choose is much more important and forms better bonds than the family you're born with. We are no longer alone or won't be soon."_ Amy pulled back from Loki and felt seven people behind her.

"Lady Amelia, please step away," Thor said.

"Why? He's no more dangerous than you are," Amy answered. 

"He killed 80 people in two days," Nat said.

Amy pushed herself up and spun to look at the Avengers. She laughed dryly. "That is real rich coming from all of you. Two master assassins, two super soldiers from World War 2, a war profiteer, and an alien prince who tried to slaughter an entire race because he could and would have had his father not stopped him. The only person here without blood on their hands through their own actions is the Hulk. He tried not to kill; he just wanted to protect himself," Amy snapped.

"And you're saying that he's as innocent as the Hulk?" Clint asked.

"Little Wolf," Loki said softly. She sighed but stepped out of their way. Loki had pushed himself up with the stairs and rolled to look at them a bit. "If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now."

It wasn't long after that, maybe a few hours that the Avengers, Amy, Selvig, and Loki and a load of SHIELD agents found themselves on Bethesda Terrace in Central Park. Loki was of course in chains with some form of muzzle across his mouth. The agents were spread across the terrace to keep onlookers from getting too close and Amy was tucked against Bucky's side. Before Loki could grab the device that held the Tesseract, Amy stepped up to him and touched his forearm.

She couldn't say anything aloud without arousing a lot of suspicions from the Avengers, but she wasn't a telepath for nothing. _'Don't do anything else this stupid, okay? Stay safe and I will see you again. Try to mend things with you brother.'_

_'Learn to protect yourself, Little Wolf. You'll need it one day.' Was Loki's answer._

"Kobik," Bucky snapped.

Amy smirked and Loki's eyes lit up. "Bye," Amy said. She stepped back to Bucky's side and Loki reluctantly took hold of the tube. They twisted the ends and in a flash of blue they were gone. The Avengers slowly broke off, Tony and Steve moving to Tony's car, Banner, Clint, and Nat moving to the SHIELD marked car and Amy looked up at Bucky.

"SHIELD wants me back at headquarters for a bit and you need to have that conversation with Steve. I won't enjoy that and you won't subject me to it," Amy told him.

Bucky nodded as he cupped her cheek. "You're right, it's an in depth conversation and parts of it won't be pretty. I'm sure if you ask nicely, Barton will drop you off at headquarters on his way to wherever he's going."

"Stay safe."

"You too, little soldier." Amy hugged him which he returned then she headed to Clint and Nat as Bruce and Tony climbed into Tony's car.


	18. Chapter 18

* * *

After Thor and Loki left, Amy approached Clint's SHIELD issued car. "Give me a lift?" Amy asked. Nat nodded and opened the back door for her. Amy slid inside and Nat climbed in the passenger seat and Clint took off. Amy looked out the back window and watched as Bucky and Steve climbed onto their motorcycles and drove away. Once they were out of sight, Amy turned back around and watched out the front windshield.

"So, Kid, what was that you said a few weeks ago about aliens in the desert?" Clint said. "Something about handing in a resignation?"

"Yes, but technically it was the same alien so I'm not sure it counts," Amy answered.

"Still aliens in the desert."

"That is true," Amy agreed. "However, I think I'm where I need to be at this point in my life."

"If you're sure."

"I am." Clint nodded and dropped the subject.

"Hey, when was the last time you went out on a date?" Nat asked, turning in her seat.

"Aw come on. Nat, leave my love life alone," Clint whined.

"I think she was talking to me," Amy said.

"I was," Nat said.

"When I was 18, before I joined SHIELD," Amy answered Nat.

"Let me set you up. There's a guy in Tactical named Scott, I think you'd like him."

"Not interested."

"You don't even know him."

"I'm just not interested."

"I know a great girl if that's—"

"No, no, no. Not what I meant at all."

"Then is it because he works Tactical?"

"No."

"Can we not talk about your love life in front of me?" Clint asked.

"Of course, but certainly you wanted to be one of those people who is in touch with what's going on in my life. Come on, be a cool partner." Amy told him.

"Fine. So why aren't you interested?" Clint asked.

"There's this guy …" Amy trailed off.

"You have a boyfriend?" Nat asked.

"He's not into me like that. At least, I don't think so, but I really like him, have for a while but I don't want to lose his friendship if I admit something and it doesn't work out."

"Maybe I should talk to him. I can figure out how he feels and if he doesn't like you like that, then you'll know," Nat said.

"Wait, you're telling me that a girl who can read the mind of every person she's met, isn't going to read the mind of a guy she likes to find out if he likes her?" Clint asked as he glanced at her in the rearview mirror.

"I can't face it if I'm wrong and it's not fair to him."

"And facing him after reading his mind would hurt too much, especially if he didn't have feelings for you," Nat said knowingly.

"Exactly."

"Tell me his name, I can figure it out for you," Nat told her.

"What's the harm in letting Nat try? She's a spy, she can get him to talk," Clint said.

"No. I'll move on, just let it go," Amy argued.

"The best way to move on is to find someone else," Clint said.

"Can we talk about something else?" Amy asked. "Please, literally anything else?"

"Barney's redoing the kitchen and wants to know you've got time to stop by and see him and the family," Clint said.

"If SHIELD doesn't decide to make me do something else."

"How old are they now?" Nat asked.

"Cooper is nine, I think, and Lila is seven, maybe," Amy answered.

After a debriefing from Fury and turning in their reports, they were sent on a few days R&R then ordered to return.

* * *

Less than three months after what was being dubbed as the Battle of New York, construction on the former Stark Tower, now dubbed Avengers' Tower was completed and Tony offered a place for the Avengers to crash should they need it. Amy realized what the offer truly meant and sat down across from Bucky in his D.C. apartment. SHIELD had given both him and Steve one to keep them close as they began to go on missions.

"So, what's so important?" Bucky asked. She was sitting on the living room couch fiddling with the pad in her hands.

Bucky sat down next to her and faced her. She was starting to worry him with how scared she looked. Especially since she wasn't looking at him. "I don't know if you've been told, but Tony is offering a place for all the Avengers to crash while in New York at his tower," Amy explained.

"Steve mentioned it."

"I don't feel right accepting it if you don't."

"I can't always make decisions for you, Kid. It's something you're strong enough to decide on your own."

"I know. I just don't feel okay about accepting the offer until I know that he's going to be okay with you staying there. I've known Tony since the day I was born. Aunt Peg made sure he was there from time to time. Granted, he's like 20 years older than me, but he's still family. You've always had my back though and I don't want to have to take sides."

"Why would you have to?" Bucky asked.

"December 16th, 1991. I don't remember the day since I was only 8 and ½ months old, but I know what happened. I know I should stay out of it, but I can't."

"Amy."

"Tell me to stay out of it. Please, tell me to stay out of it." She glanced up at him, but he only looked confused.

Bucky stared at her. "What happened on that day?"

"Do you remember?" Amy watched him intentionally keeping herself from reading his thoughts.

"I remember every mission I've ever been on where I had to kill someone, I just don't remember the dates," Bucky answered her.

"Maybe this will help." Amy handed over a tablet and Bucky saw the headline.

_'Howard and Maria Stark killed in car accident.'_

Then he looked at the date. _'December 17, 1991'_. Tony's parents, Bucky realized when he skimmed the paragraphs. "How … this says it was an accident," Bucky said.

Amy reached over and slid her finger across the screen. "I borrowed Clint's access codes then slipped into the mind of a hacker and worked my way through SHIELD'S files. Anything mentioning Howard Stark's death. It was hidden deep in the records, but I found it. Like SHIELD wouldn't investigate the death of their founder. Keep swiping it will fill you in." Amy sat back as Bucky scrolled through the files. Amy meanwhile stared back down at her hands. She was afraid that this was going to drive a wedge between Bucky and Tony and ruin everything. She glanced around and saw a notebook on the table, a landline phone, and no cell phone. When he was done, he looked up drawing Amy's attention back to him. "The vials, Hydra had them. Used them, I think."

"They did."

"If you tell me to stay out of it, I will. I'll drop it right here and never speak of it again, but I think he has the right to know."

Bucky was more focused on the accident and his memories. "He didn't die in the crash. She did, but he didn't."

Amy followed his line of thinking. "Did he recognize you?"

"He did."

"You didn't at the time?"

"No."

"What do you want me to do, Bucky?"

Bucky stared at the tablet, the screen of which had gone black. She sat quietly while he thought it over, the only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock and the hum of the a/c. "Tell him."

"Will it be better coming from you?"

"No. He'll still blame me. Maybe you can calm him down."

"Okay, but you should still make an effort to apologize. It'll go a long way even though it's not your fault."

"I'll consider it."

"Talk to Cap, maybe it'll help."

"Howard was his friend too if I remember correctly."

"Maybe but at the very least he'll understand what you went through. How is Cap by the way?"

"He's fine. Would you like to meet him, officially? He's right down the hall. They thought it would be best to have the two of us nearby."

"No, thanks. So many stories in my head, I couldn't … I just couldn't." Part of Amy didn't want to know if the man lived up to the legend but another part of her was worried about her soulmark. If he was her soulmate, not only would she be devastated even more because he wasn't the man she had fallen for, but also because he deserved better than her. Her somewhat tragic past mixed with her kindness to Loki, he just deserved some better, someone who stood for what he did and she hoped he met them.

"I think he'd like you, really like you."

"Leave it alone, for me. Please."

"Okay."

"How are you handling having him back? How's he handling the 21st century?" she asked.

"We're doing good. It's an adjustment especially since we're both just Brooklyn boys at heart. This city is so different and the people ... If things go well with Tony, I think we'd both be more comfortable back in New York. What have you been up to?"

"Not much. Seen my grandparents and some friends of the family. Fury wants me talking to someone before I go back out in the field but who would understand?" Amy smiled, shook her head, and stood. "I need to go. Best not to put this off. You sure you don't want to come with me to talk to Tony?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

After having that conversation with Bucky, Amy climbed in her car and called Tony. All she got was his answering machine though. "Tony, it's Amy Portland, we've met a couple of times, most notably a few months ago in your tower when I was talking to Loki. I know you're super busy, but can we meet? I need to talk to you about something in relation to the Avengers staying at the Tower." She hung up and five minutes later she got a text from Tony telling her if she was in New York she could drop by and he'd see her. So she drove up to New York, parked in the lot under the tower and made it through security and up to see him. Somewhere about the 25th floor or so, her heart started to slam against her chest as she realized just how high she was. She hit the button for the next floor and the elevator stopped. She grabbed her chest as she got off the elevator and tried to prevent herself from panicking. The walls seemed to sway around her then she spotted a door. Instead of being a closet or an interior office like she assumed it would be, the door opened into a spacious apartment. She froze as her eyes landed on the windows and her breathing sped up and a full-blown panic attack began to set in. It was a nice apartment, no doubt since Tony and Pepper had designed the entire tower, but all Amy could focus on was the windows. Large, floor to ceiling windows that made the New York skyline look like a picture. Amy's back slammed against the nearest wall and she slid down, curling up and trying not to cry.

Tony was working with Bruce on a project when Jarvis cut in. "Sir, your guest Agent Portland has arrived, but it appears she is having a panic attack. Her heart and respiration rates have increased exponentially," Jarvis told them.

There was no way he could handle this by himself. It was so beyond his expertise. However, the young girl was close to the bird and it was possible he'd know what to do. "Is Agent Barton in the building?" Tony asked.

"Yes sir, on his floor," Jarvis said.

"Where is Agent Portland?"

"On the 25th floor."

"Have Barton meet us there. Come on, Doctor." Tony was already heading out, giving the good doctor no time to protest.

They went down to the 25th floor and found Amy curled up much like a kitten. Tony stared at her unsure what to do. He had his own panic attacks and he worked until he was too tired to think much less panic, but he didn't know what would bring this girl back from the edge.

"Agent Portland? Amy? Can you hear me?" Banner asked.

"Go away!" she growled.

"OK," Banner said and backed off a bit.

"Can we help?" Tony asked. He looked between the other two in the room, hoping Banner had an answer to help her or that the girl could provide something.

"I'm not that kind of doctor, Tony," Banner said.

Then the door opened revealing what Tony hoped was the answer they needed. "Stark," Clint said, entering the room. Tony just pointed to the girl. "Oh." Clint knelt in front of her. He had to approach this carefully. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her even further. "It is ok to be afraid. There is nothing wrong with that or with you for feeling that way." Amy peeked at him from behind her knees. "Good girl. Tell me what you feel."

"Can't," she squeaked out.

Clint had spoken with a doctor at length to figure out how to help the girl who had so much trauma in her past and one of the things the doctor had mentioned was to watch out for relapses and panic attacks. In relation to the panic attacks the doctor warned him that he had to take things slow, let her go at her pace, and try to let her come to him. "Ok. Can you tell me what you see?" Books on the internet on the other hand had told him there were several methods to try to help people out of their panic attacks. The first one he tried was the 'senses test' which involved getting the person to focus on what they could sense, see, taste, touch, feel, and hopefully that would slow their reaction.

"You."

"And?"

Amy shook her head quickly. "No. Gonna fall." Amy buried her face back in her knees.

"You're not. You're safe here. If you did fall, I'm sure Tony's got a suit that can deploy in seconds and he can catch you."

"Nuh-uh. Gonna fall."

And there went her voice. She was quickly spiraling down into a child-like mentality and he had to get through to her quickly. "Okay. Can you look at me again?"

"No." Amy's voice was more stable, which meant she was breathing better despite the shaking that had set in. Her entire body was shaking like a leaf.

"Can I touch you?" Clint asked.

"Okay." Amy whimpered.

Clint gently put a hand on her shoulder. "You know who else is here? Doctor Banner."

"How's that supposed to help?"

"He's got this really cool trick where he can turn into a really big, green creature. The Hulk. And the Hulk can jump really far distances in short bursts. If you were to fall, he could transform and catch you before you hit the ground. You're safe here."

"Gonna fall."

Clint sighed. He looked around the room but didn't see any solutions. "Can you find something to cover those windows?" he asked Tony.

"There's nothing to hang anything from," Tony answered.

"You're a self-proclaimed genius, figure it out." By the time Clint had finished the sentence, Dr. Banner had disappeared then returned with the bedspread.

"Stand there and hold that side." Banner said, offering Tony one side of the blanket and motioning to a spot six feet from him and a few feet from the girl. That way, when they held it up, she couldn't see the windows much less out them.

"Ames, will you look at me again for a moment?" Amy peeked out again. "Well done, you're doing good. Now, close your eyes. Imagine sitting on the back porch. What do you see?"

"Fields. Lots of fields. Plush grass that goes on for at least a mile."

"What are you sitting on?"

"Wicker chair. The one with the blue cushion. It's my favorite."

"The sun has set below the horizon and the stars are peeking out at you."

"Yeah, I see them."

"You can feel yourself getting tired. You don't mean to but you're drifting off. I'm going to take you to bed now."

"Not seepy."

"Yeah, you are." Clint scooped her up and made his way towards Tony. "What's the lowest floor with a bed?"

"17th."

"Not helpful. It's still 170 feet up."

"There's a really comfortable couch on the 3rd floor. No one is using it."

"Thanks."

Amy woke minutes later to see Tony working on a computer across from her. "So, I take it having your guest room with the rest of the Avengers is a no go, huh, Kitten?"

"At SHIELD headquarters, Coulson has—had an office on the 6th floor. Half the time I couldn't even push the up button on the outside of the elevator let alone the six button. I can do the third or fourth floor, but any higher and paralyzing fear sets in. I know you and Ms. Pepper put a lot of time and effort into each floor, but I can't."

"Ok. Is that what you need to talk about?"

"No." Amy swallowed and sat up. "Tony, for years you have been family to my granddad and aunt Peg. That means a lot to me. I never want to have to choose between family and close friends, but it may come to that."

"Come on, Kit, there's no reason to sound so serious." He looked away from the computer at her.

"Do you believe in blaming the weapon or the person who used the weapon to do harm?"

"A weapon is an inanimate object; it can't do harm on its own."

"Even if the weapon is a tortured and brainwashed man?"

"What are you talking about?"

"They made him do it. Try not to be too angry." Amy pulled a tablet from her bag and handed it to Tony. "Back in the late '80's and early '90's, SHIELD got it in their heads to replicate the super soldier serum. Who better than the man who helped create the original super soldier? Howard was their go-to man. Finally, in late '91 he did it. They were moving the five vials he did create from his lab to headquarters when Hydra sent out their weapon to take control of it. He caused an accident which killed your mom and then he ... Well, it's all in the file there," Amy said, motioning to the tablet.

Tony read through the reports and files. "How long have you known?" he asked.

"Three weeks. I was digging through the deep-sixed files. Files I don't think SHIELD knows they have. I haven't told anyone else except … Bucky," Amy answered.

Tony watched her for a moment. "Get out."

Amy nodded and grabbed her bag, walking to the door. She swallowed and stopped pressing a hand to the frame. "For what it's worth. I'm sorry. I know how much you loved your mom. And maybe ... Blaming the weapon for those who are directing it, is as useless as blaming the one who designed the weapons for the good guys when they're used against the people they're meant for." She sighed and left the tower. Deciding she didn't want to go back to SHIELD, Amy drove back to Boston and climbed the stairs to her room. She pulled her Bucky Bear off the shelf then curled up in the guest room. It still had signs that Bucky had been there: a sketch of the Brooklyn Bridge, an old t-shirt, and a knife on the dresser. Amy sighed and tucked further in on herself.


	19. Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who continues to read and like this story. To the person who commented about the patch on the side of her neck, we'll get there in a few chapters, I promise. Just try to make it through until then.

Three days later, Grace watched Amy from the doorway of the guest room. Her heart sank in her chest as she saw how depressed her granddaughter was. Dugan on the other hand sat on the stairs on the phone trying to get through to Fury.

"I get it, but there has to be something. It's not good for her, even worse is she won't even tell me what happened. Something has happened, Nick. Just get her mind off it," Dugan said.

"I think I've got something, I'll let her know," Fury answered.

"Thanks, Fury." Dugan hung up and looked up at Grace.

"You don't think this has anything to do with New York?" Grace asked.

"I don't know," Dugan answered.

15 minutes later, Amy reluctantly pulled her phone from the bedside table and looked at the screen. She sighed and reluctantly got up. "Please, stop staring at me, Gammie," Amy sighed. She toyed with Bucky Bear for a moment. "I'm okay. I'm just stuck between a rock and a hard place and I think I made the wrong decision."

"I'm sure it'll work out, honey," Grace said.

"I hope you're right."

Nick Fury reluctantly sent her on mission after mission trying to help her. None of it worked until about two months later when Bucky disappeared for a couple of days. He came back and took her out for lunch. "Things are … Tony doesn't trust me. I wouldn't either. But we've sorta started working things out. After my last mission, I couldn't—I hurt my arm and mechanics aren't my forte."

"What do you mean?"

"I injured it," he lifted his left arm, "so I made a stop in California. Late at night and he fixed it, but things still aren't great. We didn't really talk but I think he's working on coming to terms with it."

"That's good. I mean Tony and I haven't spent a lot of time together in the past but he's still family and it still bothers me that he's not talking to me now."

"If I could fix it, I would but … I can't."

"I know. Maybe he'll come to his senses." Amy shook her head. She really wanted to help Bucky out here and fix things but she wasn't sure how. So, she changed the subject, "How's the Captain?"

"You really should meet him." Bucky smirked.

"I can't. Nothing's changed since last time you asked," Amy answered.

"Okay," Bucky agreed. As much as he wanted his two close friends to meet, he knew that making Amy do something she was uncomfortable with would be terrible for their relationship.

A few months later, Amy was on a mission with Clint, someone Fury often sent her with, somewhere overseas. "Ames, you want to see this," Clint called from the bedroom portion of their hotel room. She walked out of the bathroom towel drying her hair and stared at him.

"What do I want to see?" Amy asked. They were in a rundown hotel somewhere in Europe or Asia, she wasn't sure, after what had proved a very difficult mission and Clint was searching through the channels for an American channel. She couldn't read the headlines scrolling across the bottom but the image looked familiar.

"Do you recognize that?" Clint asked.

"It looks like … a massive mansion. What did the millionaire do now and why is it worldwide news?"

"That's Tony's mansion. Look at the headline again."

Amy looked back at the scroll across the bottom and despite it being in a different language she could still read two words. _'Tony Stark'_. "What did Stark do now? Promote another World of Tomorrow fair or something?" Amy rolled her eyes as they recognized his Malibu Mansion.

He motioned her over and took her hand then narrowed his eyes at her. Before she could ask, the reporter's words were translating themselves in her mind. Amy almost pulled back in shock. No one had ever been able to force their thoughts into her mind. Sure, she could do it to them, or make them do what she wanted them to do but there hadn't been a time where they had forced their thoughts on her. Then her mind focused on what she was hearing from Clint's mind as the reporter's words translated there. " _After issuing a threat to the terrorist, The Mandarin responded by attacking the Stark Malibu Mansion. Views coming to us live from the west coast of the United States show the house has been completely destroyed and according to our partners, there is no sign of Mr. Stark. We will bring you updates as we receive them but we are hearing that Mr. Stark has been presumed dead._ " Amy pulled away from Clint sharply. "They think Tony's dead?" she asked.

"You saw the images. No one could have been in the house and survived that and there was no sign of the armor coming out of it," Clint answered.

"What's SHIELD'S plan? Are they going after this Mandarin?" Amy asked.

"They've been keeping an eye on the situation but right now it falls under the CIA and NSA."

"Tony is an Avenger. He is family. You don't just abandon family," Amy insisted.

"He abandoned you pretty quick when he found out you sided with Bucky."

"Clint, we can't. We have to help."

"What do you want me to do? I have no idea who The Mandarin is and we're halfway around the world. We don't even know if Tony's dead."

"You said it yourself, there's no way anyone could have survived that."

"And it was rhetorical. Look, I want to help but I wouldn't even know where to start without getting authorization from SHIELD and Fury."

"You're a spy. You can get that information if you really wanted to," Amy said.

"Amy. Honey—" Clint started.

"Don't you dare honey me. If you're not going to help, stay out of my way."

"What are you going to do?" Clint watched her carefully. Amy swallowed and looked at her burner phone. She could try calling him or Bucky and then it hit her. Do the same thing she had done to get Bucky last time she was this worried. She plopped down on the bed and closed her eyes searching for a specific mind. He couldn't be too difficult to find. His thoughts had to be racing a million miles a minute and they usually had some undercurrent of sarcasm or fear to them. Clint sat and watched. If it wasn't so serious, he would have laughed at the way her head was cocking back and forth almost like a dog trying to figure out what someone was saying to them. Then her eyes flew open.

"He's alive. Cold and hurt, but alive," Amy said.

"How do you know?" Clint asked.

"Because his exact thoughts are, _I'm cold and hurt but I'm alive._ "

"How do you know it's him and not someone else?"

"Because his next thought was _, I'm Iron Man, I shouldn't be dragging my armor through a cold and snowy landscape._ "

"That definitely sounds like him," Clint said.

"Yeah. We should still do something. I bet I can figure out who the Mandarin is. Send a super soldier or master assassin to kill him," Amy said.

"They're currently busy at the moment." They both knew exactly who she was talking about.

"Busy with what?"

"Can't tell you that. Just that Nat is with them."

"Of course she is. Have you heard from Doctor Banner?"

"Not personally but SHIELD info says he works at Stark Industries in their R&D department."

"So, we just sit back and wait? Let Stark deal with this on his own."

"You remember New Mexico? California? New York? They were all over in a couple of days. Stark has this. He'll figure out."

"And if he doesn't?"

"I'm sure SHIELD is monitoring the situation."

"SHIELD can't even find The Mandarin, how are they monitoring anything?" Amy asked. Clint shrugged.

Amy got her answer a few hours later when the TV was taken over by The Mandarin. He spoke directly to the US President, telling him about two lessons remaining and how he intended to finish them before Christmas Morning. Granted, to learn all of this she had to stay tapped into Tony's mind and to Fury's. Their TV was clear. According to Fury's mind it was like that all across the US. He had men working on tracing the signal but with no firm trace other than a possible location in Pakistan. He got word shortly after The Mandarin went off the air that the military and by extension The Iron Patriot was on it.

"How soon can we get home?" Amy asked.

"Our evac is scheduled for tomorrow. Get some sleep, we'll have a better game plan in the morning," Clint said.

"It is morning." Amy pointed out the window to the bright sunshine.

"And you haven't slept for 24 hours."

Amy rolled her eyes but plopped down on the bed and tried to still her mind. When she woke again the sun was going down and Clint was watching a broadcast about Air Force One. "What's going on?"

"Looks like there's a hole in Air Force One. Oh, dear God," Clint muttered as they watched the plane explode on live TV.

"That … Oh God," Amy said. Then she spotted something that had her reaching for their laptop. She found the video online and ran it back to right before the plane exploded. "Look," she spun it around as a different angle showed the underside of the plane. The video pulled back into a wide shot and you could see just as it tracked people falling from the plane there was a burst of red and gold shooting across the screen. She ran it forward a bit then paused it again. "I told you he was alive," Amy said pointing to the Iron Man suit.

"Okay, he's alive. Let's hope the president wasn't on the plane when it exploded," Clint said, then he changed the subject. "Pack up, our transport is here."

* * *

* * *

Hours later they made it back to the states and heard all about the battle going down at the docks.

The news was just covering it when they landed and Clint shut off the Quinjet screen. "I was watching that," Amy protested.

"We're back. You can watch it in your dorm as you fill out the report and then catch a flight to Boston so you can be home before Christmas," Clint answered. He took her by the left elbow and grabbed their bags with his left hand as he led her down the ramp and into the hanger. Then he spotted the other Quinjet landing and smirked. "Look, you get to finally meet Cap," Clint told her.

"Clint, no."

"Yes, it'll be good for you and it'll only take a second."

"Clint, no, no—" she stopped protesting when they reached the captain halfway across the hanger.

"Barton. Who's your friend? I don't think we've met," Steve said.

"This is Amy. Though since you hang with Bucky so much you probably know her better as Kobik. Amy, this is Captain America," Clint introduced them. Steve put out a hand and Amy reluctantly took it.

"Steve Rogers, Miss," he said looking her up and down.

She stared at him for a moment then saw Bucky and Nat approaching. Her eyes lingered about his left thigh when she answered. "Them I get," she retracted her hand and motioned to Bucky, Nat and the SHIELD agents, "but that," she motioned to his uniform, "is the Puerto Rican flag, genius." She looked up at him and warmth flooded her chest right about where her sternum was.

"I—it—" Steve swallowed hard and Amy realized what she just said and more to the point of what he had just said. She pulled away from Clint.

"I gotta go," she muttered, bolting to the dorms. She climbed into the shower when she got there and tried to drown herself.

He was her soulmate.

A man who she had heard stories about, a practical living legend, who like Tony said, lived up to legend and here he was paired with a girl who had been through hell and back and had the scars to prove it. She rubbed at the left side of her neck. He deserved better after being frozen for more than half a century.

Meanwhile in the hanger, Steve was still staring at the spot Amy had disappeared from as Nat and Bucky came over. "What just happened?" Nat asked.

"I don't … I'm not …" Steve said.

"Wasn't Kobik just here?" Bucky asked, looking between Steve and Clint.

Clint was still watching Steve who looked like he had just been sucker punched. "I just introduced them and then she panicked and bolted," Clint explained.

"What did you say to her?" Nat asked, looking at Steve.

"My name. I still don't get the Puerto Rico thing," Steve answered, shaking his head.

"What Puerto Rico thing?" Nat asked.

"She said it, she really said it?" Bucky asked, stunned.

"She essentially said that his suit is more reminiscent of the Puerto Rican flag than the American one," Clint said.

"I understood that reference," Nat said. Steve shot her a look. Nat smirked.

"What?" Bucky asked. Now, he looked lost.

"One star on a blue background with three red stripes and two white ones. Puerto Rican flag," Clint said.

"Why do the two of you look so stunned she insulted his suit?" Nat asked, looking between Bucky and Steve.

"Bud, you okay?" Buck asked, resting a hand on Steve's shoulder.

"I think so," Steve said.

"Cap?" Clint asked.

"No. I'm good. I'm good."

"Alright, well I'm going to check on Amy," Clint said. He walked away and Nat looked back at Bucky.

"Tell me," Nat said. Bucky sighed.

Clint approached Amy's room only to be stopped by her neighbor. "You're Agent Barton, right? Agent Portland speaks highly of you. I think something is wrong. I heard the door slam then a bunch of crashing before the shower started. I can't get her to answer and I'm not sure I should involve Agent Hill in this."

"Don't worry, I got it." Clint pulled a knife from a pocket of his cargo pants and worked the door open. He slipped inside and shut the door. "Amy!" He called. There was no answer but he could hear the shower running. He dropped her bag on the bed and approached the bathroom door, picking his way carefully though the partial destroyed room. "Amy?" he called over the water. "I can go if you want me to, honey, but I'd rather listen to what's bothering you about the good captain." There was still no answer. Since he heard the shower still running, he cracked the door open and stared at the floor. "At least promise me you won't drown yourself."

"Promise," she answered.

"You want me to go?"

"No, I'll be done in a sec."

"Okay." Clint shut the bathroom door. He looked around and noticed that the room was a mess but it looked like controlled chaos. The desk chair was tipped over, there were clothes and dresser drawers all over the floor. There were no sheets on the bed and the desk, minus the computer, was cleared. Clint put the drawers back in the dresser and sat the chair up to sit down in it. Ten minutes later the bathroom door opened and Amy stepped out in a sports bra and sweats. She toweled off her hair then wiped across her stomach.

"You see it, don't you?" she asked.

Clint's brow furrowed but then he saw it. "So, you're Cap's soulmate." Right there across her sternum were the words Steve had spoken to her only 20 or so minutes earlier.

"At least he's mine. I don't know if the reverse is true." She picked up Bucky's hoodie from the floor and pulled it on.

"I think so, Kid. He said something about still not understanding the Puerto Rican thing."

"I can't be. I just can't."

"Why not?"

"I just can't." Amy plopped down on the bed and wrapped her arms around her stomach. She buried her nose in the collar of the hoodie and Clint noticed it but filed it away for later digestion.

"You don't get a choice, Kid. Fate has decided he's good for you and that's what matters," Clint told her, swiveling the chair to face her.

"So how I feel doesn't matter?" Amy asked, sitting up straight.

"You could learn to love him."

"Clint, you remember our conversation after New York? It still hasn't changed and I fear Cap will expect something from me I can't give him."

"I'm sure that he won't. I'm also sure that you should take it one day at a time and give him a chance to prove you wrong. Maybe he'll understand and only expect you to give what you can."

"Did you ever meet your soulmate?" Amy asked, changing the subject.

"I did but she fell in love with someone else. It hurt but I understood." Clint looked down at his hands hoping she wouldn't pry into it.

"So, you have Nat?" Amy asked.

"Nat's great and I've got my job."

"And me?"

"And you. You make my life worth living." He scooted the desk chair across the room and cupped her face. "Promise me you will give Steve a chance. Please."

"I promise I'll consider it," Amy said. "I can't promise that I'll give him a chance or that I'll explain how I feel to him. I just—" Amy buried her face in her hands. "He deserves better."

"Okay, I hear you," Clint pressed a kiss to her forehead then left her alone. 


	20. Flower delivery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know I designed the apartment picture below with the help of a 3d room planner site.

Iconic Blue Bag

Sunflowers with hyacinths

The layout of Amy's Avengers' Tower Apartment

* * *

Amy caught a flight back to Boston early the next morning and after spending time with her grandparents for Christmas, she spent New Years' Eve and Day at The Avengers Tower. She had received a message from Tony that she was welcome to the third floor should she need it along with a gift she still hadn't opened. She figured it was his way of apologizing. She spent the following days looking into what happened with Tony and all the news surrounding it. She was surprised to hear that he had blown up every single one of his 42 suits and had gotten surgery to remove the Arc Reactor from his chest.

"When someone gets you an extremely expensive gift, you're supposed to open it and show your gratitude to that person," a voice said as a hand dangled an iconic blue bag in front of where she was sitting on the couch in her new apartment. Amy didn't need to look behind her to know Tony was standing just behind the couch and reaching over her shoulder.

"I didn't want to open the bag and be disappointed if what typically comes in one of those is in that bag. Not that I wouldn't be grateful, because I would, it's just not typically my style."

"It's not what's in the bag," Tony said despite the fact that the bag was still dangling from his index finger.

Amy sighed and took the bag. She tossed the tissue paper on the end table and pulled out a box. She pulled the lid off the box and pulled out a super thin, almost see through, cell phone. "You got a cell phone?"

"Made. Stark Industries. You'll never lose service even in the desert, it has GPS tracking, completely waterproof, has a direct link to the Tower, Jarvis is standard—"

"Games?"

"Any game you can find on either app store, plus you'll never run out of data."

"Is it going to cost me anything?"

"No. It's taken care of." Amy turned around and looked at him. She cocked her head to the side as she looked at him. Instantly, she wrapped him in a hug. He froze but after a moment hugged her back. "Thank you." she whispered.

"You're welcome. And I'm sorry. Mostly that I missed Christmas but partially for what happened with Frosty. You don't deserve to be put between us like that."

"Frosty?" Amy pulled back, kneeling on the couch.

Tony let his hands drop to the back of the couch. "Barnes. It's between me and him and it's not your fault."

"I'm really glad you're okay, Tony. I saw the explosion and my heart stopped but I was on the other side of the world. By the time I got evac-ed, things were already going down at the docs and I'm sure you had it under control."

"I did. Now, I hear you're having problems with a soulmate."

"Does Barton not know how to keep his mouth shut?" Amy asked, dropping back to the couch. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them again.

"Actually, I heard that from Banner."

"Nat." Amy rolled her eyes.

"Tell me, please."

"Tony Stark saying please?" Amy glanced at him as he dropped onto the couch next to her.

"Kids need a softer approach."

"I'm not a kid. Haven't legally been one since two months before you took on aliens."

"Tell me."

"It's nothing Tony. Just finally met him and think he deserves better. Not everyone ends up with their soulmate."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're a catch."

"That's what Barton said too but a guy like my soulmate deserves someone who hasn't been scorned by Hydra."

"If you say so."

Tony didn't press the subject any further and Amy remained quiet. Eventually he left her alone. Every day for the next two weeks a different bouquet of flowers showed up on her doorstep, most of which were at least a dozen flowers and not one accompanied by a note that said who they were from or why she received them, but when pressed the delivery guy told her they were from Steve Rogers. She did notice however in every single bouquet there was either a blue hyacinth or a sunflower. It was making her angrier and angrier.

"It smells like a flower shop in here," Bucky said, dropping in one afternoon. Amy was standing at the kitchen island making a snack and motioned to the large windows to the right of the couch where several vases of flowers sat on the benches in front of the windows. "Wow, that's a lot of flowers."

"Yeah, and I bet you know who sent them, don't you?" Amy accused.

"Don't know what you mean," he said lightly.

Amy picked up a romance novel from her kitchen island counter and threw it at him. Bucky caught it, no problem. "Jerk, " Amy said.

"Really, Kobik."

Amy checked his mind and sure enough he didn't know for certain who had sent them though he had a vague suspicion. "The Captain keeps sending them. The only problem with that is he doesn't know that my favorite flowers are blue hyacinths and sunflowers. The only person who does, besides my grandparents, is you. Not even Clint knows that. You would've had to have told him. I know that you're not the same person you were years ago, the same man my grandfather tells of flirting his way through Europe when they had leave but you still remember things like that. 14 different bouquets of flowers. One for every day of the last two weeks. Pink and white violet carnations, white and pink roses, chamomiles, goldenrods, purple hyacinths, irises and violets, blue salvias, edelweiss, hibiscus, daisies, chrysanthemums, daffodils, and white camellia."

"That's 13," Bucky said.

"The first day was an entire bouquet of lilies. I gave them to Nat, I don't like lilies," Amy said.

"I'm sure he's just trying to say—" Bucky started but stopped when a knife came flying past his head and lodged in the wall just past his ear. For a brief second, he was stunned as the angle wasn't direct then he smiled, glad she was learning to defend herself in much the same way he would have if he had been in her position.

"I know exactly what he's trying to say, or rather what you're trying to make him say. Each bouquet comes with a card telling me what the flowers mean. Versions of "I'm sorry", "thinking of you", "I'll never forget you", "courage", "beauty", "innocent", "honesty", and "new beginnings". I get it. I can't give him what he wants. If he, or you, sends me another bouquet, it's going over his head." Amy snapped. "Now, get out!" Bucky swallowed but left. Amy got Jarvis to call up a delivery man and have them take the flowers to intensive care units and a few long-term care units. Though before they did take them away, she removed the sunflowers and blue hyacinths from the bouquets and put them in their own vase before putting them on the kitchen table.

She was surprised when no flowers showed up the next day. It was the same for the next three days. Then the man himself showed up.

It started off as any other Wednesday. Cereal for breakfast then a trip to the gym under the Tower before going back to binge watch whatever DVD attracted her eye. She was halfway into one of her favorite movies when it froze unexpectedly. Her phone dinged with a notification from Jarvis. She couldn't bring herself to reach for the phone so she swallowed and looked at the ceiling. "Go ahead, Jarvis," Amy said.

She stared in shock when words appeared on her TV screen large enough for her to read: _Ms. Portland, Captain Rogers is requesting entry._

"Oh. Okay, I guess," Amy said. "Yeah. Let him in."

Her door opened and he stepped inside. "Ms. Portland, do you have a few moments?" the captain asked.

"The door's open."

"Doesn't mean you have time for me."

"Maybe. Have a seat."

Steve swallowed but walked over and sat down next to her on the couch. He looked at the screen which was still paused on the movie then at her. "I can understand you don't want to talk to me. Finding out I'm your soulmate can be worrying. I know I'm not all that great and that I'm probably a lot different than you hoped for."

"My entire life I've heard stories about you. Peggy Carter and my grandmother are close. On top of that, I've known Bucky since I was 10. His memories may be spotty but he has a few very clear memories of you. Everything I've heard ... you deserve better than me. I'm not good for you."

"I think that is part of life. But if you give me a chance, maybe you'd find I'm good for you."

"I bet you are but I'm not."

"I think you are. Maybe I can make that decision for myself."

"Bucky did mention how stubborn you are. It's not just that. I don't know you, not really, so maybe I could fall for you but my heart … I can't devote it to you. I am so sorry."

Steve stared at her carefully. Sure, he had been unfrozen for quite a few months and those months involved mission after mission for SHIELD, some in which required him to be able to read people, but when it came to this girl, there was something he still didn't know. The one thing that was clear was she was falling for someone else. "You're in love with someone else?"

"For the last three years I've tried to move past it but it's harder than I expected."

"Does he know?"

"No."

"Maybe I can help you tell him. It's not good to hold on to something if it's not reciprocated."

"I just don't want to ruin what we have if it's not reciprocated."

"I think he deserves to know. At least this way you both can move on if he doesn't feel the same and you'll finally know."

"And destroy my friendship with him? No, thank you. I can't do that to him."

"But you can't keep living like this either. It's not fair. To anyone."

Amy glared at him. "Don't minimize my feelings just because you want something from me."

"I—I'm not. I—I'm sorry." Steve stared at his lap. "I know that now-a-days, not everyone ends up with their soulmate but I want to give us a try. Maybe being with me will help you move past this other guy."

"Or maybe it'll make us both miserable."

"Do you always let fear hold you back?"

"It's not fear."

"Then what?" he asked gently.

"It's respect. I respect your feelings enough to not put you through heartbreak while I try to move on." Amy sighed as she looked back down not wanting to see how disappointed he was.

Steve sighed heavily then rubbed at the outside of his left forearm. That move caught her attention as part of her training from Nat kicked in. _"Unconscious habits tell you the most about people. Watch them carefully and you'll read them like a good book."_ Despite not needing to use physical cues to tell what someone was thinking, it helped when she didn't want to invade someone's mind. Part of her was afraid of what she would find if she truly looked into the captain's mind and the other part was keeping her from doing it out of respect.

"Do you only have one soulmate?" Steve asked, bringing her out of her thoughts. Amy stared at him wide-eyed. Steve instantly looked panicked and tried to walk it back. "I'm still no good at this. I'm sorry. I know that was super personal but I was just curious. Maybe that's why you feel a draw to this other person. Maybe you have another soulmate and you just don't know it."

Of course, he'd make sense. Amy had heard of people having more than one soulmate, though it was exceedingly rare, but it wasn't her case. "I only have the one. Wouldn't you know if I had more than one?"

"Not necessarily. I'm sorry for bringing it up."

She wasn't sure how she could have another soulmate and not know it, your soulmark or in the case of more than one soulmarks, was always visible to you and the only way to know if you hadn't met them was to ask someone else if they could see it yet, like she had when she asked Barney about the mark on her chest. She had scoured her body one night after she realized the captain was alive and talking to Bucky, and had only found the mark on her chest. There wasn't another one on her body that she could find. So, she addressed the other problem. "Captain, stop apologizing. Bucky and Director Carter both mentioned you don't really know how to talk to girls. It happens. And since you don't really know me, you're bound to step in it even more."

"You're right." He rested a hand on her left shoulder and brushed his thumb along her neck.

"Captain?"

"It's Steve, just Steve. Please."

"Okay, but what are you doing?"

"I didn't mean to. Unconscious habit. It feels different here." He brushed his thumb across the left side of her neck again, just below her ear.

Amy swallowed. "Did Bucky or Clint or Nat ever tell you why my codename is Kobik?"

"No. Bucky said it was personal and not to call you it unless you said it was okay."

"When I was little, I was kidnapped." She toyed with her fingers and avoided his eyes. "They had me for five years before SHIELD found and rescued me. While I was there, they must have … I ended up with a scar. It's big and reminds me of what happened. Stark Industries came up with something. It's pretty big. They're called _Soulmark Covers_. They're mostly used in the entertainment industry, actors, models, anybody who needs to hide their mark for any reason. When my grandparents saw the scar, they contacted Tony. The most updated version can stay on for months. You don't even have to think about it."

"Can I see it?" Amy pulled her hair behind her shoulder and tilted her head so he could see the patch. He traced around the edges of the patch. "Does it hurt?"

"The patch? No. Every time it needs to be changed, I'm with my grandparents so they change it for me. I've never even seen the scar."

"Aren't you curious?"

"I was, when I was little but then I realized it reminded me of Hydra and I didn't want that."

"Does that hurt?"

"The scar? That doesn't hurt either. Thinking back to Hydra, a little so I try to focus on Bucky instead of what they did to me."

"Do you mind if I see the scar?" Amy pulled away from him. Her hand shot up to her neck in the same spot he had just been touching. She looked affronted. Steve instantly backpedaled. "It's okay if you don't want to show me. I understand."

"No one had asked about it before. Not even Nat. I just don't get why you'd want to see it. It's just a scar."

"Curiosity."

Amy swallowed. She really didn't like opening up this much to a guy she didn't know but she felt like she owed it to him being his soulmate and all. So, she nodded. "Okay." Again, she pulled her hair away from her neck and turned so he could peel the patch back. He did so very gently but his face was a blank mask as he looked at it. "Steve?" she asked.

He shook himself out of it and replaced the patch then pulled back. "I've had worse. Granted now you can't see most of them—"

"Because of the serum?"

"Yeah. Broke my nose 3 times before I joined the army. Several broken bones, bruised ribs … it goes on. As Bucky likes to say, sometimes he thinks I like getting punched. It's not that, I just don't like bullies. If you feel right here," he touched the top of his head. Amy reluctantly reached up and touched the spot as well. "Right there that scar is from getting cracked over the head with a beer bottle."

"Sounds like you pissed off the wrong guy."

"The lady said no and he still didn't want to leave it alone so I stepped in."

"And then Bucky finished it when you were thoroughly getting your ass kicked."

"I was not. I had him on the ropes."

"I'm sure you did." Amy said, smiling softly. Steve smiled back and Amy melted a bit. If her heart wasn't already occupied with her feelings for another guy it would be so easy to fall for this tall, blond, puppy dog. "Steve, I'm sorry that I can't give you what you need from me. I really wish I could. You of all people deserve to have someone love you in all the best ways."

"Fate never gives us what we think we deserve but rather what we need. I have some research to do but let me know if you need anything from me."

Amy nodded and Steve stood. He smiled at her again then left. "Jarvis, can you rewind the DVD about three minutes then play it?"

The AI didn't answer but did as she asked. Amy tried hard to focus on the movie playing but her mind kept dragging her back to the last part of the conversation. He seemed increasingly confident that she had a second soulmate. However, without knowing what he was thinking, she still didn't want to pry, she relegated herself to never knowing.

* * *

Amy


	21. It's here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The talk you've been waiting for.

Amy didn't hear from Steve for some time after their sit-down and wondered if she really had turned him off or if, as per usual, a mission had come up that they couldn't avoid. Then he did come in to talk to her in the early days of March. "I am going to ask you something that you probably don't want to hear but I need an answer. Please, for me. I will drop this whole thing but before I do, I need an answer even if you don't really want to give it to me," Steve said.

"Steve, are you alright?" Amy asked. He was standing just across from her between her and the TV. He also looked determined, like he wasn't going to let this go without an answer, even if it was an answer he didn't like.

"I just need an answer, okay?"

Amy swallowed then reluctantly nodded. "Okay."

Steve hooked a thumb in his belt and watched her. "This man you have feelings for, I'm not saying they're wrong, I just want to know who he is. I know you say it doesn't matter, I think it does and not for the reason you think."

"Did you find something in that research you were doing?"

"I'll tell you that in a minute. Please, answer my question."

Amy watched him carefully then realized exactly what he was asking and her heart broke for him. "I can't, it'll ruin everything. Not just between me and him. With everyone. I can't."

His face crumpled for a moment. Then he straightened himself up again and looked at her earnestly. "Amy, please. It's the only thing I'm asking from you."

Amy felt like crying. If she told him the name it could destroy not only his budding friendship with her but the entire team dynamic. Though she had been told multiple times "you can't help who you fall for", she knew that the man she had fallen for would make Steve sad. Since he didn't know, he was probably hoping it was just some SHIELD agent he could convince to let her down gently or sit back and watch their relationship fizzle out on its own but if he found out who it truly was, she knew it would send him into a tailspin knowing he had lost out to this man again.

"Please, don't cry. I don't want to hurt you. I wanna help. Please tell me his name, Doll," Steve begged.

She had to get a promise from him if she really wanted to tell him. "Promise me you won't be mad or take it out on him."

"It's that important to you?" Steve asked.

"Yes." Amy rubbed her nose. "Steve, I can't."

"I promise. I don't want to hurt you or this guy, I just want to fix things."

"Okay." While she still wasn't sure she could tell him, he was being honest in his response. That boded well for his honesty and for him getting what he wanted out of her.

"His name?" Steve prompted when she didn't answer.

She couldn’t hold it back anymore. He was being so nice to her and so gentle that it wouldn't be fair to keep it from him anymore so she whispered the one name as she stared down at her hands. "Bucky."

"I see," Steve said. He sounded really disappointed but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. She also couldn't read his mind and confirm her worst fears so she tried to explain herself.

"Steve, I—"

He cut her off. "No, it's alright. I need to show you something. I know it'll be hard to watch but I think it'll explain some things."

"Okay."

"Come on," he said.

Amy looked at him but he was looking over her head. "You sure about this?" she heard behind her. Amy instantly turned around.

"Bucky, how long have you been …?" Amy swallowed.

"He didn't hear it," Steve said. "You both need to see this and it will explain some things."

"See what?" Amy asked, turning back to face Steve.

"Yeah, what are you up to?" Bucky asked. He moved across the room and sat down on the couch.

"I'm sorry it took so long, I just had to jump through a lot of hoops to get it. I hope it makes your birthdays this year the best so far." Steve knelt in front of Amy's TV and put something in the VHS player before scooting her over on the couch to sit between him and Bucky. He picked up the remote and twirled it between his fingers. "I don't want to hurt either one of you and this tape has not been manipulated. Amy, what do you remember about the first time you met Bucky?"

Amy looked from the TV to Steve, then at Bucky. She didn't know what their first meeting had to do with Steve or what he was on about with the tape. She told him anyway. "Not a lot. They told me I was supposed to make him stop but I don't remember a whole lot about the actual interaction. Doc thinks that it was traumatic and that my mind buried it so I wouldn't focus on it," Amy said.

"Buck? You remember anything?" Steve asked.

"Seeing this little girl trying to look brave but scared and knowing I was supposed to push her but instead all I wanted to do was protect her. Next thing I remember is the chair," Bucky explained.

"So, neither one of you remembers the actual altercation?" Steve asked. Both Amy and Bucky shook their heads. "Okay." Steve looked at the remote and pressed play. A voice was heard as an image of Amy standing in a big open room in just a night gown looking lost came on the screen.

> _"Test of Project Kobik. Interaction number one with The Winter Soldier. The date is 6 April 2001, 1400 hours local time." The voice stopped and the door to the room swung open. Amy looked up as a booted foot breached the doorway. She shook as she took in the man who followed the foot. He was tall, dressed all in black, with a dark mask across the lower half of his face. The only thing that stood out was his entire left arm. It was silver. The voice spoke again this time over the intercom. "You both have your orders._ _Soldat, you know the consequences of disobeying. Pain beyond your experience awaits those who cannot follow instructions. Begin."_
> 
> _The little girl watched the soldier as he circled her. Her face was focused but there was frustration shining in her eyes. She was supposed to be using her powers to stop the soldier without touching him. The soldier came towards her and she backed away. He kept coming though. She whimpered; her face screwed up as though she was focusing very hard on something. Unfortunately, it didn't work. The soldier kept coming at her. Slow, even steps across the room backing the little girl against the wall with nowhere to go. He wrapped his glove covered right hand around her throat and pushed slightly. She whimpered again and for a moment the soldier paused. It was just a fleeting moment but visible to anyone looking hard enough for it. The girl's hands came up and wrapped around his wrist. He pressed her against the wall, his thumb on her pulse point. It wasn't much of a fight until he pulled her feet out from under her with one foot and kept her pinned on her back on the floor with his hand still around her throat. He pulled a knife from his belt and then switched hands, now using his left hand to hold her down on her chest. She fought and kicked against him so he shifted, moving to kneel over top of her. Since he was much larger than her it didn't take much pressure as he straddled her to keep her on the floor. He gripped her left arm and pushed the sleeve of her nightgown up. It was unclear what he was doing as that side of her faced away from the camera. However, her screams were plain as day. Once he stopped moving, her voice cut across the room._
> 
> _"_ _Why, please, why?" she asked._
> 
> _"You're my mission," he answered softly. He tucked the blade away as the girl's right arm shot up and pressed against his temple. Seconds later, he slumped off to the side and two men moved across the room and scooped him up._

When the video shut off, Amy turned to Steve. "What was that all about?" Amy asked.

"Where did you get that video?" Bucky asked, also looking at Steve.

"SHIELD gathered everything in that facility on Operation Kobik. 99 percent of it was paper files. Then there was this video," Steve explained.

"How did you get it? Everything with Operation Kobik is FDEO. You shouldn't have been able to get your hands on it," Amy demanded.

"That's not important. The important thing here is what the two of you said in that video," Steve said.

"What difference does it make?" Amy asked.

"I took this picture of Bucky's shoulder this morning." Steve showed her the photo of what was obviously Bucky's left shoulder, metal and scars where that metal met the flesh, but it had the words _"why, please, why"_ written from the top of his pectoral up to the ridge of his shoulder. "And I know that Jarvis can bring up the footage of your neck from when you let me look at it. Jarvis, if you could."

Though Jarvis did record everything that happened in Amy's apartment, typically it wasn't accessible unless something went wrong. Jarvis pulled up the footage on the screen and it showed three words where Amy's scar should have been. "No, that's not possible. It's a scar." Amy bolted to the bathroom and Bucky glared at his best friend.

"Why can't you leave well enough alone? I know you're trying to help but she's been through hell," Bucky nearly snapped.

"I was—" Steve started.

"I know." While Bucky knew Steve was just trying to help those he cared about most, Bucky was unwilling to hurt the girl he cared the most about. Meddling in things like this was beyond what Bucky was going to allow Steve to do. "Just leave it alone." Bucky stood and walked over to the bathroom door just next to the fridge in the kitchen. It was just to the left of her bedroom door. True, Bucky did have feelings for the girl and he did want to see if they were reciprocated, but he wasn't sure pushing the girl to admit them or to ignore her soulmate was the best idea. Steve deserved to have Amy, she needed him much more than Bucky needed Amy to fall in love with him. He didn't deserve her, not after everything he had been through and though Steve and Bucky were close, Bucky knew how much the younger man wanted a family who would love him.

Steve pulled the video from the player and set it on the coffee table. He stared at Bucky's back for a moment wondering if he had gone too far. He had just wanted to help the two people he loved more than anything in the world, but maybe he had overstepped. He shook his head then headed to the Avengers' gym. He blasted his way through three of the reinforced punching bags before Nat stepped into the gym. He reluctantly stopped but he couldn't look at her.

* * *

Meanwhile Bucky was outside Amy's bathroom door, wondering how to help. "Kobik?" Bucky asked softly.

"Go away, Soldat, I don't want to talk about it." And just like that, she was 10 years younger and just as scared as she had been in the video.

"Kobik, please talk to me," Bucky pressed. When she didn't answer he tried a different tract. "Let me in?" he asked gently. If he could just see her, he could figure out where her head was and it would be so much easier to help her figure things out.

"It's not locked." Her voice was soft but he could tell she wasn't ready to reach out to him.

Bucky gently placed a hand on the doorknob then gathered himself before entering the room. "Kobik," he said gently as he did a quick sweep of the room. The toilet was to his left, a linen cabinet beside it, just beyond that against the left-hand wall, a stand-up shower stall. Next to the shower stall was the clawfoot tub. Across from him was the door that led from the bathroom into the bedroom and directly across from the toilet was the double vanity where Amy was standing.

He noticed her head hanging down, her hair blocking her face from all directions and his heart broke. All he wanted to do was reach out and comfort her but he didn't want to push her too hard. "Why would he lie to me? He couldn't have lied to me. He loves me," Amy said softly. 

"Of course Steve does," Bucky said as he gently shut the door behind him. He didn't approach her yet, waiting to see if she'd reach for him. While he knew pictures couldn't lie, he knew they could be faked and he really didn't want to take the time to process everything Steve had just shown him so he waited for her to broach the topic. 

"Not him, my grandfather. He's never lied to me before. Why wouldn't he tell me?" That's when Bucky noticed that only one hand was on the vanity, the other was on the left side of her throat.

"I don't know, kid." Bucky felt terrible. He really was stuck between a rock and a hard place here. This girl was his best friend's soulmate but if that video and Steve were right, she was also his. He had to fix this somehow. "Do you know for sure he lied to you?"

"Either my grandfather is or Steve is. Who would you trust more?"

Bucky frowned. If she didn't know about the second soulmark, then maybe there was something more going on here. Or maybe she had never looked at what was under the patch. Sure, he had noticed it on her neck several times when he had seen her up close and personal, despite her wearing her hair over that shoulder most of her life, but he never wanted to ask about it believing doing so was overstepping his bounds, especially since she never brought it up. "You haven't looked?" he asked.

Amy finally looked up at him in the mirror. "I'm not brave enough to. My grandparents always change it for me. It's good for six months at the most and I always thought it was a scar. There's a lot I don't remember about those five years I was held at that facility."

"You're the bravest person I know." Bucky stepped up behind her. He rested a hand on her right shoulder. "But if it makes you feel stronger, this could only change our relationship for the better."

"How's that?"

"Kobik, as hard as you tried to hide it, I've always known you've had feelings for me. That's why I thought going to Wakanda when I did, was a good idea. You were going through puberty and I wanted to give you space to see what else is out there."

"But for some reason it never felt right." Amy swallowed and looked back over her shoulder. "What do we do if Steve isn't lying? If this isn't a scar, how do we fit? And where does Steve fit in all this?"

"Hey, one question at a time," Bucky said, rubbing her shoulder. "First question, is it a scar?"

"You're right here?"

"Won't leave unless you ask me to."

"Okay." Amy swallowed and tucked her hair back behind her shoulder. She pulled the Soulmark Cover off and shut her eyes. She tilted her head and body towards the mirror. Bucky watched her carefully but she still didn't open her eyes. He didn't want to look and give something away, so he rubbed her shoulder again. It didn't matter what he wanted, it was all about her and what she wanted. She cracked one eye open. Then she opened the other one and those green eyes focused in on those three words on the side of her neck. Three, simple words and her entire world started to crumble under her. "It's not a scar," she said softly. She reached back and took his metal hand in her left. That's when Bucky finally looked at those three simple words. Right there, just under her jaw line were the words _'You're my mission.'_ Instantly he felt terrible. He couldn't believe those were the first three words he said to her. Three words that were permanently tattooed on her neck. Then he remembered she had something and was looking at him for an answer.

"Yeah. Second question?"

"Where does this leave us?" Amy asked.

He took a moment to figure out what he was feeling for her and where he wanted it to go, if he wanted it to go anywhere. Maybe he did, not just for her sake but the deep part of himself that he had thought Hydra had gotten rid of. She was an amazing person and maybe fate was giving something back that it had taken from him so long ago. "Maybe, it gives us a chance to explore what might be there romantically."

"And if it doesn't work out?" She looked so scared but he wasn't sure if she was scared that they were bonded by those words or if she was scared it wouldn't work out. Most of him was sure it was the latter.

"One day at a time," he told her gently. He used his right hand to turn her around and that left his left arm wrapped around her waist. "Next question?"

"Where does this leave Steve?" Amy asked, pressing her right hand against his chest. His heart beat warm and comforting under her hand.

"I think you owe it to him to see if it will work out between the two of you."

"While we're exploring what we have? How does that make sense?"

He worried about that too but he had seen it work for Steve before. He wanted to change the subject slightly first. "Did you ever hear how Steve and I met?" he asked.

"No. I thought you might tell me when you were ready," she answered.

"First time I met him I didn't really meet him." Amy looked at him confused. "I saw him across the playground. I was 12, he was 11. I watched him get his butt kicked. Saw it happen three more times before I stepped in. That time I saw him getting beat up in an alleyway. Once I ran the other guys off, I went back to him. First thing I said?"

"Hm?"

_"Sometimes, I think you like getting punched."_

"What did he say?" Bucky pulled his shirt off and sure enough less than an inch from where the metal met the flesh of his left shoulder were the words _'Why, please, why'_. That's what drew her attention until he held his right arm out so she could see his forearm. There were the words _"I had him on the ropes,"_ Amy read aloud. "I bet he did."

"Yeah."

"Where's his?"

"Your words are on his left thigh, mine outside of his lower left arm. He was rubbing the blood from under his nose when I said it."

"Is he still your soulmate? Is that how it works?" She blinked up at him, looking a little lost.

"I don't know. I still have feelings for him." Bucky tucked hair behind Amy's ear then tipped her chin up. There were so many emotions running through those eyes and he wanted to hear every one.

Luckily, she spoke. Or tried to. "Does that mean …" Amy stopped and looked down shaking her head.

"Amy," Bucky said, pulling her close. "Please talk to me."

"You and he have years together. Years I can't touch. How do we …"

"Yes, I've been with him for about 15 years but I've also known you and been friends with you for 10 years. Years he won't understand. The three of us will have to figure it out but I have no doubt we can do it. Just give him time to be there for you and for you to be there for him. He has a very bad habit of carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and needs time to let people in."

Amy continued to stare at her feet. Finally, she swallowed and looked up, storm clouds brewing behind her jade green eyes. Something had shifted and it worried Bucky. Maybe he had gone too far. Maybe he shouldn't have told her about him and Steve. Maybe things hadn't changed so much in this future. But then she spoke and put those fears aside. "How could my grandfather lie to me? How could he not tell me about this, about you?"

So, it was her grandparents being protective that made her angry. While he didn't want to get in between Amy and her grandfather, he knew she needed support and maybe to see why her grandfather may have done it. "That's something you're going to have to ask him. Would you say your grandfather is protective of you?"

"Sometimes overly so," Amy agreed.

"And would you say that knowing about me being your soulmate when you were little would hold you back from exploring what's out there and having a few relationships?"

"I'd like to say no."

"But…" he prompted.

"Maybe. I'd like to think that I'd take the chance and see what's out there if you told me to but there's a chance that even if you told me to see what's out there, I think I just would have waited on you."

"Do you think that if you knew, it could bring up bad memories?"

"Like what?"

"Think about it. You're 12 years old, you see these three words tattooed on your skin. What's your next thought? Do you think _"okay, three words no big deal"_ or do you think _"where did those words come from? Who said them and what does this mean now?"_ Seeing those words could make you think back to being held by Hydra and the people you met there and wondering if one of the people you met there is your soulmate. If they are then it could lead to you wondering why you're fated to be with someone who stands against everything you were taught to believe. It would also lead you to wonder about your other soulmark and how they would fit in. Do you really want to spend your life wondering why you're bound to someone who works for Hydra?"

"I guess it's possible that Pop didn't know it was you and therefore thought he was protecting me. That doesn't make me less angry though. I guess I have to go see him."

"Would probably help."

"Thanks, Soldat. You really helped."

"Glad I could." He smiled and she could help it. She leaned up and kissed his scruffy cheek.

"I'm going to go see Pop. Can you tell Steve …"

"I'll take care of him. Be careful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you were wondering, the last two photos at the bottom of the last chapter are of the actress I imagine playing Amy. As many of you know that actress is Natalie Dormer. The one of her in a hammock is a picture I saw on Pintrest a few years back when I was writing my other story, Three Men and a Little Lady, and loved it as inspiration of that photo for my character. It wasn't until I was halfway through writing that story that I found out she was even in The First Avenger. Though I got to admit her entire role there would totally fit with Amy's personality.


End file.
